We came from the breeze.
So, in other news, I now have a girlfriend. Her name is Sabrina, and she lives literally two blocks away from my own residence. I met the new girl by chance through (what else) MySpace. This would now be the third girl I was introduced to online and met up with offline. The first girl, named Kim, I met fresh off my breakup from my last girlfriend, we met up one night and conversed for a few hours, I walked her back to her homestead and we never saw each other again. Second girl would be Jessica, the name which has graced my journal now for the last several weeks (of whom i've done my fair share of bitching). Jessica and I ended up being close, but nothing ever really came of it, aside from miscommunication and uncertainty. Finally, the third girl, Sabrina, I met about a week ago. Thus far, we have managed to hit it off quite swimmingly, she's much more the type of girl i'm interested in. All things considering, I am and should be head over heels for Sabrina. After all, she is very sharp and capable of holding her own in an intelligent conversation, she looks absolutely adorable and is considerably attractive, she has less experience than I concerning physical affection and yet is just as flirtatious (if not a tad more coy), and to top it all off, she lives within walking distance of my homestead.
Truly, once you convince yourself that you are in love with someone, it never feels the same way for anyone else. I've never before looked at a girl and felt the same exact way I did for another, something always feels just a tad different. I always felt shy around my ex, the stereotypical butterflies in the stomach and feeling almost like a schoolboy around her, but with Sabrina it feels different. I feel more on solid ground, as if i've grown just a bit more with how I manage myself in a relationship. Although in a way I miss the idealistic boyhood shivers, I think I much rather prefer the confidence I have around Sabrina. We may not have known each other for very long, but with the way we converse and act, you might think we've been acting the way we do for quite some time. Nevertheless, she means a great deal to me already, and I could see myself with her for who knows how long. Relationship pleasantries aside, i've not been feeling the same. I have not been living up to my manhood, and I have not done well in standing by beliefs I once felt strongly for. Of all those who've offered me advice, I remember two of the smartest and most honest girls i've endeared (and fell for, of course) attempting to talk sense into me by speaking the truth, reminding me of the reality of my life and what it has become. Fortunately, I am still young, there is still time to direct my life and make something of myself. Regardless of how jaded I feel because of the relationship angst i've endured, I still have much to learn. I could honestly laugh at myself sometimes, i've had all but maybe four girlfriends and from the way I talk you would think i've married and divorced.
I miss my comrade. Regardless of what happened just prior to his departure, my life just doesn't feel the same without knowing he is just a call away. I admire my comrade for the decision he made, for what he decided to pursue. I doubt anyone knows my comrade as well as I, i've watched him grow since he was a lower class-man in high school. Once my comrade finishes boot-camp and takes up his SEAL training, he will be set for life. I have always admired how assertive my comrade is, he is a bit of a reluctant role-model. He never really asked to be a hero to anyone, in fact my comrade was more antisocial than not. I could literally drone on about my comrade for paragraphs, of the good and bad and everything in between. I've come to realize that I can only take so much of being social, I can only be out and with people for so long before I feel homesick and somewhat insecure. I've always felt this way, which is why it has been rather difficult branching out and keeping in touch with other friends, i'm not comfortable hanging around someone I don't trust or feel like I know. My comrade was the only person I could be in the company of for days on without feeling uncomfortable. I say again, I know not how things will be once my comrade has returned from his voyage into the world, if he and I will ever be as close as we once were, the only news I hear of him is that he continuously writes Vanessa. With my comrade gone, my closest male companions are now my bro Nick and Stephen, who of course might as well both live on different planets. Home isn't feeling quite so much like home anymore.
I've done well thus far in keeping up on a daily workout routine involving knuckle push-ups and crunches, as well as using an exercise tool good for working on forearms. I generally don't focus much on exercising just because it isn't where my ambition lies, however it is a fine way of venting frustration, other than writing. On a random thought, with the way our world is turning out, I know not whether we should sympathize with the children being born into the world, now that we are in the aftermath of war with a president practically everyone hates. Mayhaps it is because I haven't the slightest clue how grade school's are nowadays, but it just doesn't seem like the world is as happy as it used to be. I rarely ever watch television anymore, and the only news I learn is through what my mother reads and shares. I think part of the problem is i've lost touch with how the world is outside of my own homestead. I've grown so accustomed to the way I live that i've forgotten how everything else is. In a way we are all like seeds upon a dandelion. We grow and eventually we float on with the breeze to create our own stem. I feel like the last seed left, just waiting for my turn to float on.
Ever reach a certain point when you wish life was the way it used to be?
Alas, now I bask in the subconsciousness of my slumber.
Truly, once you convince yourself that you are in love with someone, it never feels the same way for anyone else. I've never before looked at a girl and felt the same exact way I did for another, something always feels just a tad different. I always felt shy around my ex, the stereotypical butterflies in the stomach and feeling almost like a schoolboy around her, but with Sabrina it feels different. I feel more on solid ground, as if i've grown just a bit more with how I manage myself in a relationship. Although in a way I miss the idealistic boyhood shivers, I think I much rather prefer the confidence I have around Sabrina. We may not have known each other for very long, but with the way we converse and act, you might think we've been acting the way we do for quite some time. Nevertheless, she means a great deal to me already, and I could see myself with her for who knows how long. Relationship pleasantries aside, i've not been feeling the same. I have not been living up to my manhood, and I have not done well in standing by beliefs I once felt strongly for. Of all those who've offered me advice, I remember two of the smartest and most honest girls i've endeared (and fell for, of course) attempting to talk sense into me by speaking the truth, reminding me of the reality of my life and what it has become. Fortunately, I am still young, there is still time to direct my life and make something of myself. Regardless of how jaded I feel because of the relationship angst i've endured, I still have much to learn. I could honestly laugh at myself sometimes, i've had all but maybe four girlfriends and from the way I talk you would think i've married and divorced.
I miss my comrade. Regardless of what happened just prior to his departure, my life just doesn't feel the same without knowing he is just a call away. I admire my comrade for the decision he made, for what he decided to pursue. I doubt anyone knows my comrade as well as I, i've watched him grow since he was a lower class-man in high school. Once my comrade finishes boot-camp and takes up his SEAL training, he will be set for life. I have always admired how assertive my comrade is, he is a bit of a reluctant role-model. He never really asked to be a hero to anyone, in fact my comrade was more antisocial than not. I could literally drone on about my comrade for paragraphs, of the good and bad and everything in between. I've come to realize that I can only take so much of being social, I can only be out and with people for so long before I feel homesick and somewhat insecure. I've always felt this way, which is why it has been rather difficult branching out and keeping in touch with other friends, i'm not comfortable hanging around someone I don't trust or feel like I know. My comrade was the only person I could be in the company of for days on without feeling uncomfortable. I say again, I know not how things will be once my comrade has returned from his voyage into the world, if he and I will ever be as close as we once were, the only news I hear of him is that he continuously writes Vanessa. With my comrade gone, my closest male companions are now my bro Nick and Stephen, who of course might as well both live on different planets. Home isn't feeling quite so much like home anymore.
I've done well thus far in keeping up on a daily workout routine involving knuckle push-ups and crunches, as well as using an exercise tool good for working on forearms. I generally don't focus much on exercising just because it isn't where my ambition lies, however it is a fine way of venting frustration, other than writing. On a random thought, with the way our world is turning out, I know not whether we should sympathize with the children being born into the world, now that we are in the aftermath of war with a president practically everyone hates. Mayhaps it is because I haven't the slightest clue how grade school's are nowadays, but it just doesn't seem like the world is as happy as it used to be. I rarely ever watch television anymore, and the only news I learn is through what my mother reads and shares. I think part of the problem is i've lost touch with how the world is outside of my own homestead. I've grown so accustomed to the way I live that i've forgotten how everything else is. In a way we are all like seeds upon a dandelion. We grow and eventually we float on with the breeze to create our own stem. I feel like the last seed left, just waiting for my turn to float on.
Ever reach a certain point when you wish life was the way it used to be?
Alas, now I bask in the subconsciousness of my slumber.