But I'm on fire for you clearly.
Two-thousand and five was a fleeting year of faith for me. Just as it began, I was with the girl up until then I had considered to be my one and only, I wholeheartedly believed she was my soul-mate. Mother's Day, my comrade was banned from home and made the decision with me to flee to Chicago, since I couldn't very well allow him to venture off by his lonesome. During springtime, my comrade, myself, and Rich spent an entire week loitering at the mall with no reliable source of transportation, we walked so far and long that week my feet felt raw. We three also decided in the spur of a moment that we were going to climb the steep side of a massive quarry, we even climbed at night. Not only did we climb the quarry, one day we managed to climb down to the sand bank and the three of us swam across the lake of the quarry (where people have drowned) and back in our boxers. Although nothing to boast about, it was also the year I experimented with drugs, some which were dangerously addicting, while others taught me what a bad taste really was. Another experience which could have been described as due to the "spur of the moment" was my first fling, while I still think mere hookups are hollow and overall not satisfying, I wouldn't exactly say I didn't enjoy the hell out of it. Fortunately, it was with a friend at the time, so I suppose that made it more of a friends with benefits type deal.
My worst experiences of the year would have to begin with saying I went through two painful breakups (that which was the basis for my losing faith in love). Just as the year began, I had lost my very first job as the clerk of a Marathon gas station, due to both the fact that my boss no longer wanted to pay his employees and his suspicion after my friends stole a few boxes of condoms. In a fit of frustration during a time of inebriation, I made the bright decision to try and punch a thick wooden beam, that which ended up busting up my knuckle. Oddly enough, the same finger of the opposite hand was also busted up nicely my senior year of high school when a basketball was thrown and ended up snapping my finger back. Thinking my finger to be dislocated when it was actually broken, I took a final exam while going through the excruciating pain of yanking on it to make sure it was in place. At one point, I was the angriest I had been in a very long time when myself, my comrade, Rich, and Paul were all supposed to attend a party, my comrade having decided that to kill time we were to partake in random physical acts in the woods next to the Einstein Academy. Spruced up with cologne and nice clothing, although I managed to avoid most of the oddball activities, I still managed to slip on a stone and soak my pants in the creek. I honestly couldn't think straight I was so angry (which is uncommon for me). This year my mother and I had some of the worst and depressing fights we have ever had, one which resulted in me being thrown out of the house. I suppose the worst part of this year was when it all was said and done, and I realized how alone I really am.
On the brighter side of the year, I fell in love twice, and as we all know being in love is my absolute favorite thing in the world. My bond with my both brother and comrade was strengthened as we went through trying times, giving each other advice on how to pull through. I also attended my very first local shows, having managed to see the last live performance of the local band Black Coffee. Within the last year or so, i've partied more than I have my entire life. I've drank two cleaned out Windex bottles filled with beer in the same night (I don't really remember much). I downed a beer bong mixed with whiskey, and for a while was helping polish off cases of beer with my comrade, Paul, and Brandon. I finally met Emily, girlfriend of Paul and overall one of the nicest girls i've ever met, she made me a cupcake but never actually gave it to me, which is heinous but I suppose one day i'll forgive her. I also met my comrades paramour Vanessa (who I like to call supergirl), who has an awesome sense of humor and is very sweet and caring. Oddly enough, i've lost touch with some friends and rekindled bonds with others. Certainly another highlight of the year was the road-trip taken with my spouse Lauren, Serena, Cat, and Erin to visit Melanie, finally being able to see her nice house and very keen mother. Serena claims that I am a crowd pleaser, however I prefer to call it a champion of the people. To top it all off, a random girl from Connecticut sent me a message saying she thought I was cute, how cool am I?
In summation, I both found and lost myself all in the same year. It was as if the year started off as a sweet kiss and ended like a stinging slap to the face. Although I continuously lament of love, or lack thereof, I suppose when it comes right down to it, I am still the same person I was a year ago. Regardless of any drugs or women that influence my life, it hasn't changed the type of person I am. I still enjoy helping and offering my friends what advice I can, regardless of how weak and weary I feel. Life is not all about the extremities of both high times and ruts, there is a such thing as in between, which is what the end of this year has been for me. I'm not the happiest I could be, however I do acknowledge that things could be worse. I may not be in love, and I may not be where I would like to be right now in my life, but fortunately life is very susceptible to change. Sometimes I lay in bed, and I remember the way she felt in my arms, the scent she wore, and I won't lie by saying it isn't like someone carving into the heart, but I realize it just wasn't meant to be, and nor were we. With any luck, mayhaps the start of a new year can be when I try and let go of all of that and start anew.
How exactly are people still surprised that I stay up the way I do?
Alas, now I bask in the subconsciousness of my slumber.
My worst experiences of the year would have to begin with saying I went through two painful breakups (that which was the basis for my losing faith in love). Just as the year began, I had lost my very first job as the clerk of a Marathon gas station, due to both the fact that my boss no longer wanted to pay his employees and his suspicion after my friends stole a few boxes of condoms. In a fit of frustration during a time of inebriation, I made the bright decision to try and punch a thick wooden beam, that which ended up busting up my knuckle. Oddly enough, the same finger of the opposite hand was also busted up nicely my senior year of high school when a basketball was thrown and ended up snapping my finger back. Thinking my finger to be dislocated when it was actually broken, I took a final exam while going through the excruciating pain of yanking on it to make sure it was in place. At one point, I was the angriest I had been in a very long time when myself, my comrade, Rich, and Paul were all supposed to attend a party, my comrade having decided that to kill time we were to partake in random physical acts in the woods next to the Einstein Academy. Spruced up with cologne and nice clothing, although I managed to avoid most of the oddball activities, I still managed to slip on a stone and soak my pants in the creek. I honestly couldn't think straight I was so angry (which is uncommon for me). This year my mother and I had some of the worst and depressing fights we have ever had, one which resulted in me being thrown out of the house. I suppose the worst part of this year was when it all was said and done, and I realized how alone I really am.
On the brighter side of the year, I fell in love twice, and as we all know being in love is my absolute favorite thing in the world. My bond with my both brother and comrade was strengthened as we went through trying times, giving each other advice on how to pull through. I also attended my very first local shows, having managed to see the last live performance of the local band Black Coffee. Within the last year or so, i've partied more than I have my entire life. I've drank two cleaned out Windex bottles filled with beer in the same night (I don't really remember much). I downed a beer bong mixed with whiskey, and for a while was helping polish off cases of beer with my comrade, Paul, and Brandon. I finally met Emily, girlfriend of Paul and overall one of the nicest girls i've ever met, she made me a cupcake but never actually gave it to me, which is heinous but I suppose one day i'll forgive her. I also met my comrades paramour Vanessa (who I like to call supergirl), who has an awesome sense of humor and is very sweet and caring. Oddly enough, i've lost touch with some friends and rekindled bonds with others. Certainly another highlight of the year was the road-trip taken with my spouse Lauren, Serena, Cat, and Erin to visit Melanie, finally being able to see her nice house and very keen mother. Serena claims that I am a crowd pleaser, however I prefer to call it a champion of the people. To top it all off, a random girl from Connecticut sent me a message saying she thought I was cute, how cool am I?
In summation, I both found and lost myself all in the same year. It was as if the year started off as a sweet kiss and ended like a stinging slap to the face. Although I continuously lament of love, or lack thereof, I suppose when it comes right down to it, I am still the same person I was a year ago. Regardless of any drugs or women that influence my life, it hasn't changed the type of person I am. I still enjoy helping and offering my friends what advice I can, regardless of how weak and weary I feel. Life is not all about the extremities of both high times and ruts, there is a such thing as in between, which is what the end of this year has been for me. I'm not the happiest I could be, however I do acknowledge that things could be worse. I may not be in love, and I may not be where I would like to be right now in my life, but fortunately life is very susceptible to change. Sometimes I lay in bed, and I remember the way she felt in my arms, the scent she wore, and I won't lie by saying it isn't like someone carving into the heart, but I realize it just wasn't meant to be, and nor were we. With any luck, mayhaps the start of a new year can be when I try and let go of all of that and start anew.
How exactly are people still surprised that I stay up the way I do?
Alas, now I bask in the subconsciousness of my slumber.