Say this world is not so shallow.
Well, it's safe to say that i've been in one hell of a rut as of late. Nothing short of rejection feels worse than having a personal dispute with your closest companion, especially when you think you're the only one reeling from it. Ironically, the only two memorable arguments my comrade and I have had have been over something involving girls. Unfortunately, whatever ongoing tolerance I held for my longtime crony Rich has burned out. As aforementioned in ancient entries, I met Rich around the exact same time I met my comrade, we all formed a triangular friendship nigh four years ago. Within our merry little trio, for a long while everything seemed equal, we all had a certain balance of friendship, however this changed drastically when Rich held a grudge against me for taking the place of his mother's boyfriend, his pathetic excuse for a role model, when my comrades mother planned a trip to a concert. Since then, nothing has been the same between Rich and I, even the way we speak to one another, mostly this frustration and animosity between us comes from wanting favoritism of my comrade. I've endured his compulsive lying, his annoying obsession for smoking hash on a daily basis, his poor attempts at peer pressure, even his attempts to publicly belittle me, however the very last straw of my tolerance for his deceiving idiocy was when he attempted to sway my comrade's favoritism behind my back. I consider Rich nothing more than a conniving fool, i've forgiven him for far too much to stand by and take it any longer. I may not understand my comrade's faith in him as a person, or friend, however he has seemingly made his choice, I only hope in the long-run he doesn't regret it.
Aside from the frustration with both of my closest friends, my mother has been smoking constantly. For some reason even I don't comprehend, I cannot stand when my mother smokes around me, it's just become one of my little peeves. I still partly blame myself for my mother rekindling her old smoking habit, she never once even touched a cigarette before she came down to my old workplace and found open packs the manager would leave beneath the table. Understandably, she smokes to reduce her stress, which is considerably high. Hopefully one day i'll somehow manage to support her to quit the habit. Thus far as a writer in this journal, i've only come across one person who i'd rather wouldn't read it. Oddly enough, the most frustrating thing is that even with reading everything I write, they still have absolutely no clue who I am as a person. Alas, it's a burden that comes with me not really caring who sees my thoughts and opinions. With the way I see it, regardless of the fact that it is public, it is still a journal, which is ordinarily used for writing down one's personal thoughts, which is.. exactly what I use it for. Sidetracking for a moment, it is most heinous when the only inspiration you have for writing is frustration, I suppose the only bright aspect of my life lately has been thinking of the girl I adore. It's kind of funny how quickly your spirits can lift just by daydreaming of the person you care for. I've always been a daydreamer, so she is often in my thoughts, whether she knows it or not.
I've been cheating on the roots of my writing practice for the ever-popular Myspace bandwagon. My only use for it is the enjoyment out of being able to put music videos on the profile page, and rekindling friendships with old high school mates. Otherwise it really has no other appeal to me. Through it, i've spoken with a girl I met back in high school named Lindsey. In high school she was moreso an acquaintance, however recently we've seemed to make pretty good friends, bizarrely enough we think surprisingly alike. Aforementioned, my mind tends to think in extremities, which she seems to also do. I don't think i've ever really explained my whole jealousy problem where someone seemed to relate and agree on practically every aspect. Conveniently, she was also a friend of Sara Travis, my old high school crush. I've also spoken more with my longtime friend Paul, who engaged me in a playful one-armed boxing match in a store the last time hung out. Not very fair when you face off against someone in a boxing match who's taller than you. Whenever I update my Myspace, I go to the nearby public library, and it's rather funny when you see other people logging on the computers and checking their Myspace profiles as well, i've noticed mostly girls do that.. which says so much for my masculinity.
On top of all other frustrations, apparently my father called and left a message that soon he was going to be in Moscow, Russia, and left me an e-mail to reach him at. First and foremost.. having one of your parents randomly call you to casually tell you they're going out of country is one thing, but Moscow is actually one of my dream places to go. My father is an English teacher, who's taught in China, Korea, and now I guess Russia. Saddest thing? When my mother relayed the information, I basically just sort of gave a deadpan expression with a nod, I really wasn't surprised. Friends, love, and family.. pretty much all the most important aspects in one's life are frustrating the hell out of me right now. When it rains, it pours. You know what I actually find funny? Right now, the most annoying thing is that I wish I had something more to speak of, rather than frustration and angst. I absolutely detest having nothing to say but negative things, so i'll end this entry with something funny. When I left the public library, as I was strolling through the parking lot to walk home, I came across this car parked in a space that had it's engine running. Naturally, I walked by the car to see if anyone was in it, and just as I did, I noticed this couple making out pretty hardcore in the back-seat, so as you can imagine, my face went from curious/concerned to wide-eyed while I did that acting casual bit where you turn around and act like you didn't see anything, when I saw.. pretty much everything.
I'd like to know who in the hell randomly gets horny in the parking lot of a library.
Alas, now I bask in the subconsciousness of my slumber.
Aside from the frustration with both of my closest friends, my mother has been smoking constantly. For some reason even I don't comprehend, I cannot stand when my mother smokes around me, it's just become one of my little peeves. I still partly blame myself for my mother rekindling her old smoking habit, she never once even touched a cigarette before she came down to my old workplace and found open packs the manager would leave beneath the table. Understandably, she smokes to reduce her stress, which is considerably high. Hopefully one day i'll somehow manage to support her to quit the habit. Thus far as a writer in this journal, i've only come across one person who i'd rather wouldn't read it. Oddly enough, the most frustrating thing is that even with reading everything I write, they still have absolutely no clue who I am as a person. Alas, it's a burden that comes with me not really caring who sees my thoughts and opinions. With the way I see it, regardless of the fact that it is public, it is still a journal, which is ordinarily used for writing down one's personal thoughts, which is.. exactly what I use it for. Sidetracking for a moment, it is most heinous when the only inspiration you have for writing is frustration, I suppose the only bright aspect of my life lately has been thinking of the girl I adore. It's kind of funny how quickly your spirits can lift just by daydreaming of the person you care for. I've always been a daydreamer, so she is often in my thoughts, whether she knows it or not.
I've been cheating on the roots of my writing practice for the ever-popular Myspace bandwagon. My only use for it is the enjoyment out of being able to put music videos on the profile page, and rekindling friendships with old high school mates. Otherwise it really has no other appeal to me. Through it, i've spoken with a girl I met back in high school named Lindsey. In high school she was moreso an acquaintance, however recently we've seemed to make pretty good friends, bizarrely enough we think surprisingly alike. Aforementioned, my mind tends to think in extremities, which she seems to also do. I don't think i've ever really explained my whole jealousy problem where someone seemed to relate and agree on practically every aspect. Conveniently, she was also a friend of Sara Travis, my old high school crush. I've also spoken more with my longtime friend Paul, who engaged me in a playful one-armed boxing match in a store the last time hung out. Not very fair when you face off against someone in a boxing match who's taller than you. Whenever I update my Myspace, I go to the nearby public library, and it's rather funny when you see other people logging on the computers and checking their Myspace profiles as well, i've noticed mostly girls do that.. which says so much for my masculinity.
On top of all other frustrations, apparently my father called and left a message that soon he was going to be in Moscow, Russia, and left me an e-mail to reach him at. First and foremost.. having one of your parents randomly call you to casually tell you they're going out of country is one thing, but Moscow is actually one of my dream places to go. My father is an English teacher, who's taught in China, Korea, and now I guess Russia. Saddest thing? When my mother relayed the information, I basically just sort of gave a deadpan expression with a nod, I really wasn't surprised. Friends, love, and family.. pretty much all the most important aspects in one's life are frustrating the hell out of me right now. When it rains, it pours. You know what I actually find funny? Right now, the most annoying thing is that I wish I had something more to speak of, rather than frustration and angst. I absolutely detest having nothing to say but negative things, so i'll end this entry with something funny. When I left the public library, as I was strolling through the parking lot to walk home, I came across this car parked in a space that had it's engine running. Naturally, I walked by the car to see if anyone was in it, and just as I did, I noticed this couple making out pretty hardcore in the back-seat, so as you can imagine, my face went from curious/concerned to wide-eyed while I did that acting casual bit where you turn around and act like you didn't see anything, when I saw.. pretty much everything.
I'd like to know who in the hell randomly gets horny in the parking lot of a library.
Alas, now I bask in the subconsciousness of my slumber.