New Years And Shit!
"Can I prevent this loss and pain to hasten my release
Or am I damned to existence alone
Sear me child, let this pain set me free again
With broken promise, never know what this life could bring
And the time spent alone sorting through emotions
Is a blessing that I know I cannot repay
With only words I can't express my deep regret
Of time gone by and of feelings that I'll never know
Pain believed but never shared has left me damaged here
My wounds will bleed anew, I am now exposed"
So technically today well tomorrow is New Years Eve and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Last time Nyssa was working which was I believe three days ago I asked her what she was doing she's not too sure. I told her I'd like to do something with her and we could spend it together she doesn't know if she's doing anything with her parents. But if she is she'd be going over her Grandmothers and she doesn't mind if I come with her which I thought would be cool I could spend it with her and meet her grandmother. I called her last night and tonight and no answer and I left her a message telling her I'll call her tomorrow when I get off at 2:45. Around this time always gets me sad thinking and feeling nothing will compare to the New Years I spent going into 04 from 03 and at times I relive parts of that weekend over and over again and god I wish I could go back at times and go through it all again. Along with that Summer of 03 and know well enough to stay true to myself and others around me. To make it work and I really hope I can hang out with Nyssa because I really don't know anything else I can do. I'm over it but there are times where I think about it and think back to that weekend or that whole last part of that year and a little of the beginning. But it's part of my past and you know what I say if you know me. My past is part of what made me me and continues to make me. We are humans we only learn from our mistakes since there is no such thing as "perfect" and I don't care who you are there is no such thing.
I work New Years Day so it looks like I'm not going up to Hershey, PA to see my Aunt Betty but I found out we get paid time and a half for New Years which is fucking awesome and I'm thinking about buying just that IPod at full price at work tomorrow after work before the Philadelphia Eagles game. Since we only get like $20.00 off it and I'd rather get our service plan rather then going down to the mall at the Apple store. I work from 9:00 till 2:45 tomorrow and the game starts at 4:15. I also found out we don't get a discount on our website since there is no way to justify it so the manager Danny told me i could buy it at full price and bring it in the store and re ring it through with our discount and get that. So I think when I get home I'll order Orgy, Unloco, Adema EP, Coldseed, and the first All That Remains along with the movie Stay Tuned. Then just order the Terror 2000 and the Disarmonia Mundi's which I can't wait to get my hands on.
Well my Christmas was good for the most part and had a nice paycheck this payday and I was really impressed and I have improved and want to play some more Madden online a lot more when I get time. The only thing is the one Soilwork is discontinued and they don't have any in my size so I swapped it out with a Killswitch Engage shirt since I don't have one of those yet. I got the Sweden's finest one and the one with the Stabbing The Drama cover and the tour dates of 05 and my Bury Your Dead. Also I got three unopened games I have yet to open just cause two of em are under the tree and I'm still playing some of them. And really haven't all together gotten time I'm either sleeping or at work I got pretty much full time hours. Now I just need money and to get my license and then get a car and I'm set other then me going full time officially so I can get the benefits. And Brian loved the letter and his card and I'm glad he did and I need to put my copy in the picture in a HP picture frame and put in my room. Oh and running out of room on my cd tower gotta find a new one of those unless I get one of those shelves. George came up which we made stupid videos and pictures I'll have to upload and show you guys great shit hahaha it sucks my mom thought he'd be "bored" so his cousins and him went down to his house. Though Josh is off all this week and he's been playing my games and sleeping all day and Greg has off and has his license. I got some nice stuff and finally got my haircut might trim some up my sideburns before I go in tomorrow. Other then that all is well and all is good. Job is going great, life is okay I'm alive. And earning that money and throwing it all in my bank so I should order a few cds online I think I deserve it. Well I gotta get up at 9 so I'll be asleep and the Eagles just gotta beat Falcons and if the Eagles win and the Cowboys beat the Lions the Eagles still win the division if the Eagles lose and the Cowboys win the Cowboys win the division but it'll be a great game tomorrow I can't wait.
