my thoughts on the 50th
okay, okay, I'm not staying, I'm gonna write my post and say my bit and then walk away because I don't think I can handle the internet right now
but-- my thoughts on the 50th:
the funny thing is, I actually really enjoyed most of it?
catey hasn't seen it yet as of this posting, and she texted me just after, asking me to rate it "on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being shockingly decent and 10 being worse than we feared."
I told her pi. "One MAJOR regret/I'll never get over hating it thing, two 'but couldn't you have justs,' and a sprinkling of jokes I didn't like."
I stand by that, so I'll start with the 60-odd percent of it I did really like:
- TEN. Ten was perfect. Even the Liz 1 stuff wasn't as gratuitously terrible as I thought it would be, but like... I knew David would slip right back into character and he did (to a kind of embarrassing degree, he showed up Matt like crazy and my eyes always sought him out because he's the Doctor-iest of all of them), but I was worried about the writing, and for this, Moffat delivered. Ten was... moral, and kind of judgmental, and always so big. So invested. The fact that he called Eleven out on being such a callous dick in that prison scene--the fact that Hurt could label them the one who regrets and the one who forgets--that was so, so true to him. I appreciated that beyond words. That was a gift to me, more time with Ten, and I do thank Steven Moffat for that. I am grateful.
- KATE. Oh my god, Kate Lethbridge-Stewart is in contention against Kate Lockley from Angel to be my fave blonde cop-esque Kate. They couldn't bring the Brig back, but in using her and UNIT the way they did, we really did get many nods to the past in ways that were sentimental and respectful, and that filled my heart with joy. There was a photo from Turn Left on the cork board with Rose and Captain Magambo on it and I flipped the fuck out.
- CLARA. Jenna Coleman's face was on my TV nothing bad I can ever say about it, all good, the bit where she was attempting to be the witch of the well was adorable as fuck and I love her as an English teacher.
- ZYGONS. That whole plot was frankly pretty presh. I wish it had been the only plot, but hey, what can you do. It was nice to bring back such a treasured Classic villain, and they were used cleverly.
- CAPALDI. It was lovely to have a taste of him
- FOUR. I cried. No, I more than cried. I sobbed. I made little noises. I was not expecting that at all (mostly because we were lied to and manipulated and told expressly it wouldn't happen) and I just. Oh my god. The only way it could have been more perfect is if he'd offered Matt a jelly baby, but I was so moved to have Tom on my screen.
- Opening with the original recipe Classic credits.
- Ten again, no seriously, hearts in my eyes my baby was back TEN he gets two bullet points
- Time Lord art being bigger on the inside, cute/clever/benign and a nice addition to the actual plot
- Hurt's performance; he did his best with the material and though I will never love him, he did manage to make me care a tiny bit.
- THE MUSIC THE MUSIC THE MUSIC. When not-Rose and Hurt were talking and "The Doctor's Theme" started playing I died.
phew.
so yeah, there was a lot to like. I spent most of the episode pretty happy.
that brings us back to "pi," though, so I guess I'll do that in order of least to most annoying.
Things that bugged me but were minor:
- This one's small, but it was also the first, so: Hurt stealing some dude's gun just to carve "NO MORE" into a wall with it. Wow. Time waster much, Doctor? Just kind of laughable.
- But on that note, the depiction of the Time War. The last thing I pictured when I thought of it, especially going by Ten's descriptions when talking to the Master, was an actual FIGHT with GUNS and whatnot. This was so... obvious? And done? When I imagine a fight of the magnitude described-- when we first heard of the fall of Arcadia, or of the Nightmare Child, all that-- I thought cosmic. I thought unimaginable. This was so pedestrian, and it was disappointing.
- Elizabeth I. Not as bad as I was dreading it might be, but the gag was just taken too far, and ha ha womens' sexuality is always a funny punchline ha ha.
- ON THAT NOTE, THE POOR FANGIRL SCIENTIST WITH THE FOUR SCARF. Plot-wise, handled not too badly, I'm glad she got to save herself, but again: women having sexuality is the punchline. We're meant to laugh at her for having a crush, for being "wee and dumpy" as Moffat might say, for needing an inhaler. grow up.
but those are the kinds of concessions I'm used to making when I watch the Moffat era. That's like white noise, it doesn't even bother me much anymore. if those had been my only complaints, I would have been ready to call this episode a riotous success, and name it my 6th favorite special-- behind Christmas Invasion, Runaway Bride, Waters of Mars, The Snowmen and Voyage of the Damned, in that order.
but of course it didn't end there.
two things nagged at me throughout. the kinds of things that were so DUMB, and like, THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO BE DUMB. THEY WERE SO CLOSE TO NOT BEING DUMB.
- Getting Hurt instead of Eight. This one's a given, but we knew about it, but like... god, it was still so painful to watch. Because none of that "but it wasn't REALLY the Doctor" rhetoric made a lick of difference to the plot. None of it was necessary. And Paul McGann fucking deserved it.
- Rose. This one was baffling to me, because like... of all the things you could have dreamed up, why dream up THIS? It could have gone in two different directions that would have been better: the interface taking a form Hurt would recognize that was ACTUALLY from his past, and the number of people you could have cast in that role is literally endless, or: ACTUALLY MAKE IT BAD WOLF. That would have made a lot of sense, actually! You could have done her up with that tangled hair and the little pink hoodie and it could have been her, in that moment. She wanted him safe, her Doctor, and she saw everything, and why did it hurt? That was a perfect opportunity to use the past to your advantage instead of just writing over it, and Moffat missed it entirely.
But even these I could have forgiven. It wouldn't be the first time-- Girl in the Fireplace is flawless o long as you pretend it's a Martha episode. I can look past the "what ifs" to see the potential of the material, and this had that.
But then it betrayed me like a knife in the back, and I just
LET NO ONE, EVER AGAIN, SAY THAT STEVEN MOFFAT KILLS PEOPLE OFF. HE DOES NOT KILL PEOPLE. HE HAS NEVER AND WILL NEVER KILL UR FAVE, OKAY, HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW
JUST THIS ONCE ALWAYS, EVERYBODY LIVES.
And the worst part is that he gave me the perfect ending and then he snatched it away again.
My eyes were welling with tears as Ten, Eleven and Hurt stared each other down in that ramshackle little hut. All of their hands were on the button, and I was almost crying. Because he finally got it. I couldn't believe that somehow Steven Moffat had been made to understand this show, but clearly he had, because look at them! LIKE TEN AND DONNA IN POMPEII, DAMN IT. Some things can't be changed, no matter how much you regret them, no matter how hurtful they are. It's hard, but it's what makes life beautiful. Fixed events are necessary for growth, and he was GIVING me that, and then--
and then Clara started crying and it all went to shit.
I'm not even particularly pressed about the return of Gallifrey, because I couldn't give two shits about the other Time Lords one way or another. But I have no idea how we're supposed to wed this new canon with the events of End of Time, because... didn't he save Gallifrey just to have Ten watch the Master destroy it once more? Isn't that what just happened? Because they're acting like that's not what just happened, and I have no idea how that is supposed to work.
but more than that... what a fucking slap in the face to Rusty. "I see that you planned your whole run of this show by making the Doctor the last of his kind, and gosh yeah that gives him gravitas or whatever, but the show I grew up on had Gallifrey and frankly I find the whole thing a bummer so I'm just gonna retcon it back in because I can."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT.
and now, apparently-- and this is the part that actually ticks me off-- this is going to be the new plot of the show. the doctor avoiding his death at trenzalore because idk reasons, and the doctor trying to find gallifrey. god, is that what Twelve is going to be? A mission to find the Time Lords and rescue them from themselves? I didn't sign up for this crap, and I don't want it.
remember when Doctor Who was a show about travel through time and space? about discovering the wonders of the universe? sure, maybe saving a few lives along the way, but mostly-- revealing the wonders of this world and all worlds to a companion, and in doing so unlocking said companion's hidden gifts and talents, allowing all of us to envision better versions of ourselves?
yeah. i barely can, either.