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[professor_snark]

Snape brought Lupin into his room, which was full of books, magazines the occasionally potion making tool lying around. He didn't bother trying to clean, since this was him, who he was. Lupin could take it or leave it.

"Does anything in particular sound good to you? Meats, pasta, shepherds pie? Tossed salda?

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[patchdandshabby]

The books made him feel more comfortable then he might have, with words like 'date' and 'be there in the morning' still floating between them. He picked up a book and flipped through it idly. "What's your favourite thing to cook?"

[professor_snark]

"Soups I think," Snape answered, looking in the fridge and cupboards to see what he had on hand. "It's closest to potion making, and fine tuning ingredients to make it taste perfect is enjoyable."

He walked to Lupin, settling a hand on his arm. "How would you feel about stew for dinner? I have a french loaf to go with it."

[bedtime. curse you job!]

[patchdandshabby]

"Stew would be lovely." He looked down at the hand, which send a slight shiver through him; he wasn't used to casual touching.

[professor_snark]

Nor was Severus used to casual touch, but he was trying to act like a normal person, and not the walking dysfunction that he was.

"Make yourself at home then. Unless you'd like to help cut up vegetables."

[patchdandshabby]

"I think I can manage cutting up a few vegetables." Remus shrugged out of his coat and rolled his sleeves up to just under his elbows.

[professor_snark]

Severus got carrots and celery from the fridge, setting them on the counter for Remus, then began to scrub some potatoes clean for cutting.

"I didn't expect you to forgive me so easily for what I did," he said, not looking up from his task.

[patchdandshabby]

"I would think you, more then most, would know how easily I forgive, considering what I let James and Sirius get away with in school. Lily reamed me out more then once for not having a backbone. Not that she phrased it quite like that." He sliced the vegetables easily; more then once he'd spent time working in kitchens to earn his keep.

[professor_snark]

"This wasn't a foolish prank or sheer idiocy, Lupin, but a deliberate attempt at getting you fired, an attempt that worked. How can you overlook that?"

His knife was hitting the counter with a bit more force than necessary as he cut up potatoes.

[patchdandshabby]

"I don't know what you want me to say, Severus. Nothing can undo what's happened. Me being angry at you, or not talking to you, isn't going to get my job back or obliviate anyone's knowledge of what I am." He sighed, and nudged the cutting board full of vegetable across the counter. "If it hadn't been you it probably would have happened for some other reason anyway. Nine months at one job is something of a record."

[professor_snark]

Snape's fingers tightened on the knife. Yes, it could have happened some unspecified time in the future, but it had happened now and because of him.

"You're too soft, Lupin. How have you not been eaten alive by now?"

[patchdandshabby]

"I had people watching my back until I was twenty-one." Remus shrugged, and swallowed hard.

"After that... well sometimes I think it's one of the world's great cosmic jokes. I didn't give a damn, sometimes even wished it would all just end, so of course I stayed alive."

[professor_snark]

"I wish it were that easy, to just wish your life away. I would have done it myself, a long time ago."

He took Lupin's vegetables and slid them into a pot, along with his potatoes.

"There are far too few reasons to want to live in this world," he murmured softly, going to his cupboard to get spices.

[patchdandshabby]

"I didn't used to believe that. I still don't, for other people. Harry, Hermione, the Weasleys. Minerva - the world needs people like her. But I don't understand why someone like me can't trade places with James or Lily, or Frank or Alice, or any of a dozen other people that would make a better use of their time here."

Merlin, the single glass of brandy was going to his head. He didn't usually voice such thoughts aloud.

[professor_snark]

Snape didn't turn around, but braced his hands on top of the counter. "Perhaps it's because none of them could tolerate a man like me, let alone, possibly, in some cases, understand a man like me. That's why the world needs people like you, Lupin. You pick up strays like me, and make them feel...something."

[patchdandshabby]

Remus walked silently around the counter to stand behind Snape, resting one hand on his shoulder. "You're not as difficult to understand as you might think, Severus. And I think of the two of us, I'm the stray."

[professor_snark]

"Dumbledore is the only man alive that understands me, and that's because he tore each and every secret I've ever had out of me and rifled through them to ensure my loyalty."

He turned, facing Lupin.

"No one else has bothered to try by normal means. Perhaps Minerva, but there are things I could never tell her, things she'd never understand."

For a moment, he stared at Remus.

"If you're a stray, you're the stray everyone wants to take home. I'm the one that gets kicked to the curb because I snap and snarl if anyone gets too close to me."