I'm happy to say they're getting divorced, or domestic violence is NOT cool. Trigger warnings.
I honestly hadn't heard of Nigella Lawson except in passing, but her husband Charles Saatchi is divorcing her: AFTER she moved out of the house with the kids and refused to speak to him when he choked her in a restaurant.
Boo hoo, Charles, she's so sorry about this.
What was she upset about?
[Pictures, personal shit, you don't have to read this. Trigger warnings apply]These pictures. Or rather, I hope, what he was doing to her while these pictures were taken. If you look at some of those pictures, it's clear that he's actually cutting off her air.
This really brings back some old, bad memories. The same exact thing happened to me. My husband grabbed me by the throat and pressed straight down with his hand covering my mouth and nose. I couldn't breathe. I'm happy to say that I did not want to go out like Desdemona and bit him to make him let go. Afterwards, I had bruises all down one side of my neck and wore a turtleneck to cover it up. And he said the same exact thing--"I just did it to make you pay attention."
Some people really do think "oh, people who are well-off don't have this happen to them," "smart people don't have this happen to them," "the guy must be a giant hulking person," and even "she must have said something to make him do it." This is a trap. It makes abused women feel dumb-- I must not be very smart or a very good person, because a smart, good person would never let this happen to her. Trust me, it's not true. I've heard it all. It's not just "oh, what about the kids" or "I don't have the money." Sometimes it's "but the poor thing could never get along without me." Yes, it gets that fucked up.
If you are reading this and think you are being abused, please read one of the web sites about how to break free of this kind of relationship. Call a crisis center and talk to a counselor. They have heard this a million times before, and they know better than to judge you, or ask "why don't you just leave?" And STAY SAFE. You did nothing to deserve this. You can have a good life. Trust me.
If you have a friend who is in this kind of situation, try not to judge. Just be there for her (or him, if that's the case.) Remember, abusers try to cut off all the abused person's relationships to make them more dependent. You may be the abused person's last lifeline to the outside world.
Anyway, just my two cents. I just about never talk about this, but maybe someone or someone's friend will find this helpful.
Boo hoo, Charles, she's so sorry about this.
What was she upset about?
[Pictures, personal shit, you don't have to read this. Trigger warnings apply]These pictures. Or rather, I hope, what he was doing to her while these pictures were taken. If you look at some of those pictures, it's clear that he's actually cutting off her air.
This really brings back some old, bad memories. The same exact thing happened to me. My husband grabbed me by the throat and pressed straight down with his hand covering my mouth and nose. I couldn't breathe. I'm happy to say that I did not want to go out like Desdemona and bit him to make him let go. Afterwards, I had bruises all down one side of my neck and wore a turtleneck to cover it up. And he said the same exact thing--"I just did it to make you pay attention."
Some people really do think "oh, people who are well-off don't have this happen to them," "smart people don't have this happen to them," "the guy must be a giant hulking person," and even "she must have said something to make him do it." This is a trap. It makes abused women feel dumb-- I must not be very smart or a very good person, because a smart, good person would never let this happen to her. Trust me, it's not true. I've heard it all. It's not just "oh, what about the kids" or "I don't have the money." Sometimes it's "but the poor thing could never get along without me." Yes, it gets that fucked up.
If you are reading this and think you are being abused, please read one of the web sites about how to break free of this kind of relationship. Call a crisis center and talk to a counselor. They have heard this a million times before, and they know better than to judge you, or ask "why don't you just leave?" And STAY SAFE. You did nothing to deserve this. You can have a good life. Trust me.
If you have a friend who is in this kind of situation, try not to judge. Just be there for her (or him, if that's the case.) Remember, abusers try to cut off all the abused person's relationships to make them more dependent. You may be the abused person's last lifeline to the outside world.
Anyway, just my two cents. I just about never talk about this, but maybe someone or someone's friend will find this helpful.