I'm not dead. Neither are Gerry or Jelly, despite repeated attempts.
Just a little something that popped in my head and wouldn’t let go.
“I’m stating for the record that I’m not sad, just terribly disappointed. Since when does anyone in this family let a little attempted murder muddle the familial waters? The occasional attempt on one’s well being is practically how we show affection. For example; Benedetta poisoned me when I was fifteen. It was a motherly reminder to respect my vulnerability -very effective. Never handled the Ifrit Irises without the proper protective gear again. We had tea the next morning. Point is, if we let a little thing like attempted murder slow us down we’d never get anywhere or have any fun. So. Little Ashworth. Are you going to frowny-face me for the rest of the year, quietly plotting my demise, or are you going to help me distract the guards in the noble pursuit of flooding the Ministry of Magic with Itch Blooms?”
.
“I’m stating for the record that I’m not sad, just terribly disappointed. Since when does anyone in this family let a little attempted murder muddle the familial waters? The occasional attempt on one’s well being is practically how we show affection. For example; Benedetta poisoned me when I was fifteen. It was a motherly reminder to respect my vulnerability -very effective. Never handled the Ifrit Irises without the proper protective gear again. We had tea the next morning. Point is, if we let a little thing like attempted murder slow us down we’d never get anywhere or have any fun. So. Little Ashworth. Are you going to frowny-face me for the rest of the year, quietly plotting my demise, or are you going to help me distract the guards in the noble pursuit of flooding the Ministry of Magic with Itch Blooms?”
.