"And Then You Grabbed Me Tightly. I Won't Let Go."
Space and distance are two different things. I need my space, you're not here because of distance. What is this with needing you here and pushing everything else away? Maybe I am losing it, maybe I've already lost you. All I want is to press pause to the world around me, and scream until my voice breaks. Then there would be silence. I could collapse and break down, then the world would feel better.
I talked with her on the phone for a long time today.
"Best friends means I pulled the trigger, best friends means you got what you deserved." Best friends forever right?
"You left the frays from the ties you severed when you said best friends means friends forever."
I remember in 5th grade we had best friend necklaces. Little flowers that were different colors, you had "best" and I had "friends." Then in seventh grade it was the dice bracelets. You had black and I had red. Thats when we talked everynight, its been so long since back then. I told you today I miss it all. You listened and said "I'm not going to argue with you." I told you every reason why hes horrible. You said "we'll be back together tomorrow." I said, "we sit two people away at lunch and don't even talk to eachother." You replied, "I'm not going to disagree with you," and I said, "because you can't. There is nothing to disagree about. I'm right." You said "sure." I said "I'm tired of having to schedule appointments to be able to see you, you are with him everyday at school, after school, and on the phone if you're not with him." You said "yes." I said "I stopped calling you a long time ago." You said, "I've been calling you more." I told you "congratulations for calling me three times in the last month." Then there was silence. You said "yes."
We left it at that.
You're probably all thinking, "thats not worth crying over." But thats the bleak description I'm willing to share with all of you. Not every private detail of our once amazing friendship.
I guess this is my reality. I'm left to pick up the pieces of what we both know will never work out. To bad I'm the only one who wants to place them back together.
"Our last chance to be best friends until we say goodbye. I'll try to see you when the weather clears."
<3
Kate*
I talked with her on the phone for a long time today.
"Best friends means I pulled the trigger, best friends means you got what you deserved." Best friends forever right?
"You left the frays from the ties you severed when you said best friends means friends forever."
I remember in 5th grade we had best friend necklaces. Little flowers that were different colors, you had "best" and I had "friends." Then in seventh grade it was the dice bracelets. You had black and I had red. Thats when we talked everynight, its been so long since back then. I told you today I miss it all. You listened and said "I'm not going to argue with you." I told you every reason why hes horrible. You said "we'll be back together tomorrow." I said, "we sit two people away at lunch and don't even talk to eachother." You replied, "I'm not going to disagree with you," and I said, "because you can't. There is nothing to disagree about. I'm right." You said "sure." I said "I'm tired of having to schedule appointments to be able to see you, you are with him everyday at school, after school, and on the phone if you're not with him." You said "yes." I said "I stopped calling you a long time ago." You said, "I've been calling you more." I told you "congratulations for calling me three times in the last month." Then there was silence. You said "yes."
We left it at that.
You're probably all thinking, "thats not worth crying over." But thats the bleak description I'm willing to share with all of you. Not every private detail of our once amazing friendship.
I guess this is my reality. I'm left to pick up the pieces of what we both know will never work out. To bad I'm the only one who wants to place them back together.
"Our last chance to be best friends until we say goodbye. I'll try to see you when the weather clears."
<3
Kate*