Happy Mothers' Day
Today I baked chocolate chip cookies instead of studying for my AP Physics test. This was yet another lesson the universe tried to teach me in the difference between intention and action. Intention: bake marvelous cookies that garner respect from my sister, satisfaction from my brother, pride from my mother, appreciation from my father, and validation from myself. How it actually turned out: me standing in the kitchen freaking out for 20 minutes about how each cup or spoonful of each thing was measured, standing there mixing it while everyone else was eating dinner together, scrubbing cookie dough off of everything as my family left the kitchen one by one, at the end all by myself stuffing the cookies into a tupperware and hiding them in the bottom of the freezer. Nothing has changed. Nobody is marveling at my transformation into a domestic goddess. I'm still pretty much a failure. What loser wastes 2 hours of her life to bake cookies and then has a fucking meltdown afterward? This loser, that's who.