26th
Blargh. I had some sort of fight with Christine yesterday. And when I say 'some sort of' I mean that it was kind of confusing. I didn't know where all of that anger came from her, I always knew that she was a little angry, but not THAT angry. Holy damn. /shakes head. But whatever. That's past me now. I hope that we can move on from that, because I don't think fighting over the internet will get us anywhere.
So what's up with me? Hmm... I have a 61% average in math and a 69% in science. And fail of all fails, my dad asked me if I was doing good in math and I told him 'no' outright, but what the fuck? He just asked me the same question. I don't know if he's deaf or whatever the hell, but I'm getting the sense that he's in denial. LOL. But I gotta say, my math average used to be a lot lower (and when I mean a lot, I mean A LOT. Dudes, I had a 52. -_-") Hopefully I can pull up my marks in the next few months. God knows I need work on it.
The only good news is that I have a 93 in french. Fucking french. Who the hell wants to be proud of that?! Lol, I'm barely half-awake when I get to french (which is my morning class, sigh), so it surprised the fuck out of me when I found out that I had the best average out of my class. But come on, guys. It's fucking FRENCH. If I had a 93 in math, I'd be happier. In fact, I'm sure that I'd boast about it to all of my friends. Ahahaha! Okay, no. I don't boast at all. :/
Ugh, the cuts are itchy. Blegh, I hate it when it gets like that. When I scratch them, they open up again and start to bleed. The first time that happened to me, I was so freaked out; but I've gotten used to it now. /rolls eyes. I've gotten used to a lot of things! Like hiding the cuts and being careful to not lift my sleeves up in public when I'm washing my hands. Sometimes I believe that people think I'm weird to do that, but trust me, it's better if they don't see me with my sleeves up.
But you know what's sad though? I think I'm the most avid cutter in my group. They all self-harm but I think they're superficial ones. I can't really confirm that belief though, but it's just... they're always wearing short sleeved t-shirts and casually lifting their sleeves up without a second thought and I see no scars at all. None. Not even faint white lines that I get a lot on my right forearm (because I don't cut on that arm a lot.) But then again, I still believe that I'm a superficial cutter as well. I use a razor now (lol, I can't believe I used to use hairclips... FAIL) and they do bleed and they do scar for weeks at a time. But there's still this thought that... these scars are nothing compared to what other people do. I mean, if people saw them... they'd just laugh at me for being weak. Because truly, that's what I am. Weak. For cutting.
But it's the only source of comfort now. And even then it has its faults...
But you know what? Whatever. It doesn't matter anymore. Spring's coming soon, and with that, I'm hoping that I can put away all of this... whatever the fuck this is. Haha.
-Hope all is well with everybody else,
Vincent.
<3
So what's up with me? Hmm... I have a 61% average in math and a 69% in science. And fail of all fails, my dad asked me if I was doing good in math and I told him 'no' outright, but what the fuck? He just asked me the same question. I don't know if he's deaf or whatever the hell, but I'm getting the sense that he's in denial. LOL. But I gotta say, my math average used to be a lot lower (and when I mean a lot, I mean A LOT. Dudes, I had a 52. -_-") Hopefully I can pull up my marks in the next few months. God knows I need work on it.
The only good news is that I have a 93 in french. Fucking french. Who the hell wants to be proud of that?! Lol, I'm barely half-awake when I get to french (which is my morning class, sigh), so it surprised the fuck out of me when I found out that I had the best average out of my class. But come on, guys. It's fucking FRENCH. If I had a 93 in math, I'd be happier. In fact, I'm sure that I'd boast about it to all of my friends. Ahahaha! Okay, no. I don't boast at all. :/
Ugh, the cuts are itchy. Blegh, I hate it when it gets like that. When I scratch them, they open up again and start to bleed. The first time that happened to me, I was so freaked out; but I've gotten used to it now. /rolls eyes. I've gotten used to a lot of things! Like hiding the cuts and being careful to not lift my sleeves up in public when I'm washing my hands. Sometimes I believe that people think I'm weird to do that, but trust me, it's better if they don't see me with my sleeves up.
But you know what's sad though? I think I'm the most avid cutter in my group. They all self-harm but I think they're superficial ones. I can't really confirm that belief though, but it's just... they're always wearing short sleeved t-shirts and casually lifting their sleeves up without a second thought and I see no scars at all. None. Not even faint white lines that I get a lot on my right forearm (because I don't cut on that arm a lot.) But then again, I still believe that I'm a superficial cutter as well. I use a razor now (lol, I can't believe I used to use hairclips... FAIL) and they do bleed and they do scar for weeks at a time. But there's still this thought that... these scars are nothing compared to what other people do. I mean, if people saw them... they'd just laugh at me for being weak. Because truly, that's what I am. Weak. For cutting.
But it's the only source of comfort now. And even then it has its faults...
But you know what? Whatever. It doesn't matter anymore. Spring's coming soon, and with that, I'm hoping that I can put away all of this... whatever the fuck this is. Haha.
-Hope all is well with everybody else,
Vincent.
<3