Well, he absolutely is, but you're also supposed to feel sorry for him. I was also trying to play with the idea that men only ever put that effort into the one woman they feel is worth it and not all of those along the way to her.
That idea actually really helped me while I was dating. It wasn't that I didn't deserve their attention, love, etc. as much as I just wasn't the one for them and they knew it. Doing all of those other things and knowing that would actually have felt more of a betrayal and I could respect them for not doing that and being aware of what they wanted.
A little off topic, but with that realization came that it is often us women who hold on to relationships when they are so obviously not worth continuing or doomed to end despite knowledge of this because we love them and want it to work.
I'll admit I have no idea about any of this; I personally avoid dating just for the sake of dating and won't even attempt a relationship unless I'm really sure I want the dude in question. I think I'm mentally structured more like a guy, but with enough female experience not to just go through partners like kleenex because I can imagine how devastating that might be :(
I felt the same way about being really interested and didn't date so much as was in a relationship. However, it never lasted long, but it was always hard because I had either wanted it to or because it meant that there was something about me they didn't like, even when it was obvious it wasn't going to work..
While my experiences themselves were not only doomed for this reason alone, many were, I think, and hating them after they were gone only made me more fearful of the next guy, which was very counterproductive.
But, regardless of this insight, I hated the whole experience of dating. I am soooo glad I don't have to do it anymore. It was simply just too nerve-wrecking and unstable (am I saying the right things? oh my God, is he losing interest?) and I very much like knowing my husband loves me and that he'll be there when I get home, etc.
I am glad you finally found the right guy in the end! That always gives me hope, finding like-minded people who've actually "retired" successfully from the dating game :)
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-Tia
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A little off topic, but with that realization came that it is often us women who hold on to relationships when they are so obviously not worth continuing or doomed to end despite knowledge of this because we love them and want it to work.
-Tia
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While my experiences themselves were not only doomed for this reason alone, many were, I think, and hating them after they were gone only made me more fearful of the next guy, which was very counterproductive.
But, regardless of this insight, I hated the whole experience of dating. I am soooo glad I don't have to do it anymore. It was simply just too nerve-wrecking and unstable (am I saying the right things? oh my God, is he losing interest?) and I very much like knowing my husband loves me and that he'll be there when I get home, etc.
-Tia
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