Awash in a sea of possibilities...
...with no maps or charts.
Maybe it's time to bring out the heart-compass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had an epiphany today. (It remains to be seen whether it will do me any good.) I was talking to the lovely instrument makers that I am apprenticing with, when suddenly I realized that they were gently hinting that I should try for a job at the Smithsonian. My dream job! And, if I took this post right after graduating next year, I could also go to night school, get my paramedic degree, and be a medic part-time. Two excellent, paying jobs at once! Happy salaried independence!
But that would mean NOT going to grad school. Not getting my MA or PhD like I always thought I would. Like I ASSUMED I would. Like everybody else assumed I would. Do I even want to go to grad school? I want desperately to learn, to learn as much as I can, to know as much as possible. Must I always learn in an academic institution? If I don't take this chance, will I ever have it again? Could I leave grad school and get into the museum job I want? Could I leave a museum job and get into the grad school I want?
I don't know. I really don't know.
This is NOT comforting.
Maybe it's time to bring out the heart-compass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had an epiphany today. (It remains to be seen whether it will do me any good.) I was talking to the lovely instrument makers that I am apprenticing with, when suddenly I realized that they were gently hinting that I should try for a job at the Smithsonian. My dream job! And, if I took this post right after graduating next year, I could also go to night school, get my paramedic degree, and be a medic part-time. Two excellent, paying jobs at once! Happy salaried independence!
But that would mean NOT going to grad school. Not getting my MA or PhD like I always thought I would. Like I ASSUMED I would. Like everybody else assumed I would. Do I even want to go to grad school? I want desperately to learn, to learn as much as I can, to know as much as possible. Must I always learn in an academic institution? If I don't take this chance, will I ever have it again? Could I leave grad school and get into the museum job I want? Could I leave a museum job and get into the grad school I want?
I don't know. I really don't know.
This is NOT comforting.