Why I'm crying...
My brother is sick. His white blood cell count is dangerously high. He went to the ER yesterday. When I found out I cried. But today when I saw him he yelled at me. But I didn't yell back and I think that startled him.
I'm not ready for this year. I like highschool and I am in no way ready for it to end. I feel safe at Hammond (which sounds rediculous I suppose). My friends are at Hammond. My life is at Hammond. After this year what will I have? My Dance team will be gone. All of my friends will go to better colleges than I will. I will never be on stage again, basically. I love the stage. I feel at home on the stage, and the fact that I wont ever be in another play, or probably another dance production scares me shitless. I know that college brings paths to new opprotunities, but I like where I am. I guess I have sort of a peter pan complex. But I can't live like that forever. I hate this. I hate growing up.
We've been argueing. Things don't seem like they used to. And I miss the way we used to be together.
I don't have any classes with two of my best friends this year. I hope that doesn't mean that we'll stop speaking. Julia and I only had drama together last year, but it was enough to keep us chatting. Kelsey and I had 4 classes together last year. And I don't think we have any this year.
I miss Catherine. I miss Kelsey. But at least they are coming back next week. Megan is leaving for college in NY soon. And Allison left a few hours ago.
I can't sleep. I haven't been able to the past few nights.
I don't miss my mother. And that sorta scares me.
I want to punch something. I want to hit shit and scream.
-End rant-
Sara and Julia have really helped me recently, even though I haven't talked about any of these things. So thanks guys.
I'm not ready for this year. I like highschool and I am in no way ready for it to end. I feel safe at Hammond (which sounds rediculous I suppose). My friends are at Hammond. My life is at Hammond. After this year what will I have? My Dance team will be gone. All of my friends will go to better colleges than I will. I will never be on stage again, basically. I love the stage. I feel at home on the stage, and the fact that I wont ever be in another play, or probably another dance production scares me shitless. I know that college brings paths to new opprotunities, but I like where I am. I guess I have sort of a peter pan complex. But I can't live like that forever. I hate this. I hate growing up.
We've been argueing. Things don't seem like they used to. And I miss the way we used to be together.
I don't have any classes with two of my best friends this year. I hope that doesn't mean that we'll stop speaking. Julia and I only had drama together last year, but it was enough to keep us chatting. Kelsey and I had 4 classes together last year. And I don't think we have any this year.
I miss Catherine. I miss Kelsey. But at least they are coming back next week. Megan is leaving for college in NY soon. And Allison left a few hours ago.
I can't sleep. I haven't been able to the past few nights.
I don't miss my mother. And that sorta scares me.
I want to punch something. I want to hit shit and scream.
-End rant-
Sara and Julia have really helped me recently, even though I haven't talked about any of these things. So thanks guys.