Not sure how the days are working out anymore.
I've been at school 10-14 hours a day every day for the last month. Lots of group study sessions, a lot of practice scenarios, a lot of worrying.
Being a "retread" I've been here before and failed in the past. Despite being in an exponentially better position than I was when I was in the program back in 2008/9 I still can't help but feel that I'm staring at a wall that I can't climb over. Even though I'm standing taller than I was back then, it still scares me. It feels like I'm visiting the scene of a really bad accident I barely survived. Even though I'm perfectly safe I can't help but feel anxious.
Regardless, life plods on. I've done my Science exam and my Symptom Relief Oral Boards are done. So that's two down, I just have to worry about exam scenario's on Wednesday, and lifting and psych on Thursday.
Scenarios worry me. I always stress myself out over them, even the ones I do with my classmates stress me out. When they tell me I did well and that I kicked ass I just think of all the things I feel I took too long doing, or minor things I feel I forgot that I should have done. I just can't seem to stop sabotaging myself ... well I'm going to have to figure it out in the next 10 hours.
Being a "retread" I've been here before and failed in the past. Despite being in an exponentially better position than I was when I was in the program back in 2008/9 I still can't help but feel that I'm staring at a wall that I can't climb over. Even though I'm standing taller than I was back then, it still scares me. It feels like I'm visiting the scene of a really bad accident I barely survived. Even though I'm perfectly safe I can't help but feel anxious.
Regardless, life plods on. I've done my Science exam and my Symptom Relief Oral Boards are done. So that's two down, I just have to worry about exam scenario's on Wednesday, and lifting and psych on Thursday.
Scenarios worry me. I always stress myself out over them, even the ones I do with my classmates stress me out. When they tell me I did well and that I kicked ass I just think of all the things I feel I took too long doing, or minor things I feel I forgot that I should have done. I just can't seem to stop sabotaging myself ... well I'm going to have to figure it out in the next 10 hours.