My Father and I
It hurts to hear such harsh words from someone that promised you the world. When you get thrown to the floor and dragged through the sand by the one person that swore they would always be by your side, no matter what happened or what you did. You remember being the apple of his eye. You remember how he was your hero. He was the one you cuddled with when you had nightmares, the one you ran to when you got yelled at. The one that told you he was your boyfriend throughout all your childhood just so you could remain faithful to him till you were of a more mature age. You had little secret and special things you did that only meant something when done between you both. Like when you would connect index fingers and “beep” or pretend to get electrocuted, or when he would tell you he was black and you innocently told him “No, your brown”. Or when you did run into bed late at night because you had a nightmare, you had your own little special place to lay down and feel protected (the little space between the bed and his back). How you looked up to him and admired him as if he were perfect and there would be no man to ever equal him.
And now what? Now instead of being the Princess, you’re the whore, the alcoholic, the drunk, the inconsiderate one. “You only think you’re an adult”, “You don’t care for anyone but yourself”, “Your inconsiderate and only look out for yourself”, “You use people to your advantage and throw them away when your done”, “All the troubles and hardships you are encountering in your life are your own fault”, “You only know how to blame everyone else for what you get yourself into”, “Your not entitled to anything that references itself to me”, “You are the replica of your mother and the shit of her family”, “Your speaking your mother’s words”, “I am going to give you this money and you will loose it in 6 months and come asking me for help, whereas I will only turn around and tell you ‘I don’t care’”, “You will never amount to anything”, “The only thing you know how to do is drink and fuck around with your friends”, “You have never done anything useful with your life”, “You are roaming around the street drunk, whoring yourself, and pregnant”, “The reason your fat is your fault alone”. These are the only words I hear now. its really sad how his hatred for her is so grand that he is willing to loose me only because I am talking to her. Its funny how he turns around and does the same thing to me that he criticized her for doing.
I am tired of defending my place with someone that doesn’t care to listen. Its sad that over money, he would even say that he is dead to me. I can’t call him, can’t have any contact with him, can’t even acknowledge his existence, or even say hi if I see him on the street. How the tables turn. How quickly his words became the same as my mothers only a little over a year ago, and yet I am the replica. If there is one thing I walk away with in this experience is that we are all alone. We stand alone and alone we must do things. Nobody will ever see what your do for them and will much less appreciate it. And if by chance someone lends you a hand, take it if you must, but let it go quickly if you intend to have that hand stretched out again. You can very easily over-stay your welcome. Everything has a price.
And with this I depart and say THANK YOU! Its always nicer to see the true faces.
And now what? Now instead of being the Princess, you’re the whore, the alcoholic, the drunk, the inconsiderate one. “You only think you’re an adult”, “You don’t care for anyone but yourself”, “Your inconsiderate and only look out for yourself”, “You use people to your advantage and throw them away when your done”, “All the troubles and hardships you are encountering in your life are your own fault”, “You only know how to blame everyone else for what you get yourself into”, “Your not entitled to anything that references itself to me”, “You are the replica of your mother and the shit of her family”, “Your speaking your mother’s words”, “I am going to give you this money and you will loose it in 6 months and come asking me for help, whereas I will only turn around and tell you ‘I don’t care’”, “You will never amount to anything”, “The only thing you know how to do is drink and fuck around with your friends”, “You have never done anything useful with your life”, “You are roaming around the street drunk, whoring yourself, and pregnant”, “The reason your fat is your fault alone”. These are the only words I hear now. its really sad how his hatred for her is so grand that he is willing to loose me only because I am talking to her. Its funny how he turns around and does the same thing to me that he criticized her for doing.
I am tired of defending my place with someone that doesn’t care to listen. Its sad that over money, he would even say that he is dead to me. I can’t call him, can’t have any contact with him, can’t even acknowledge his existence, or even say hi if I see him on the street. How the tables turn. How quickly his words became the same as my mothers only a little over a year ago, and yet I am the replica. If there is one thing I walk away with in this experience is that we are all alone. We stand alone and alone we must do things. Nobody will ever see what your do for them and will much less appreciate it. And if by chance someone lends you a hand, take it if you must, but let it go quickly if you intend to have that hand stretched out again. You can very easily over-stay your welcome. Everything has a price.
And with this I depart and say THANK YOU! Its always nicer to see the true faces.