and it's me again.....
i can't believe how long it's been since i've been here. February feels like forever ago. jenne's been home to visit...brough rachie...we had a blast. my birthday came and went...we got makeovers like Alabama beauty contestants...then rachie chopped her hair off...jenne got beautiful clothes...janna brought her book...it was great fun!
now it's April 8th and just three weeks left until the end of spring semester and it seems unreal. that means i only have three classes left to finish over the summer before graduating and student teaching in the fall. I cannot believe I've been in school long enough to be graduating. I'm not sure if i even learned anything. Then i'm going to have to start deciding where I want to live. But the problem is I don't feel like I want to be settled yet. All this time in school and getting ready I've been rushing and now that I'm here I don't want to teach yet. I still want to prance around from one city and college to the next. I definitely think I have issues with committing myself to one place or one thing.
Sometimes I feel like I'm really old and I'm like..woah...and other times i still feel like i don't need to be grown up yet. I don't need to be like a lot of my friends. Getting married, getting engaged, buying a house, settling for good....etc. All of those things scare the shit out of me. I always talk about wanting a family and babies...LOTS OF BABIES....BUT......i don't think i would be happy having babies before a husband. i want my boyfriend and i to be able to travel all over, experience lots of different things before we even think about getting married. i know lots of ppl get married and then begin to travel, but I feel like you learn so much about someone when you travel with them that i want to know all that before i agree to marry someone..lol. who knows..they can be a psycho, yo!
i want to feel like that person is the only person i could ever see myself with. because i can't ever see myself settling for less.
i have always had such high expectations. when jas and i were together and broke up i was convinced he was the nicest guy in the world and how could i have been so jerky to him and he was the best thing ever...bs bs bs....then i started to remember back to times and situations where he was the biggest ass in the world, and then i'm like...oh yea...
that relationship messed me up big time...i don't think it's made me jaded, but it's made me really look at what i do want from a person and if they don't have it, then i move on. i don't waste my time on things that i know won't go anywhere. some people say that is being too picky...but i think it's just being selective. what you think?
xoxo
amby
now it's April 8th and just three weeks left until the end of spring semester and it seems unreal. that means i only have three classes left to finish over the summer before graduating and student teaching in the fall. I cannot believe I've been in school long enough to be graduating. I'm not sure if i even learned anything. Then i'm going to have to start deciding where I want to live. But the problem is I don't feel like I want to be settled yet. All this time in school and getting ready I've been rushing and now that I'm here I don't want to teach yet. I still want to prance around from one city and college to the next. I definitely think I have issues with committing myself to one place or one thing.
Sometimes I feel like I'm really old and I'm like..woah...and other times i still feel like i don't need to be grown up yet. I don't need to be like a lot of my friends. Getting married, getting engaged, buying a house, settling for good....etc. All of those things scare the shit out of me. I always talk about wanting a family and babies...LOTS OF BABIES....BUT......i don't think i would be happy having babies before a husband. i want my boyfriend and i to be able to travel all over, experience lots of different things before we even think about getting married. i know lots of ppl get married and then begin to travel, but I feel like you learn so much about someone when you travel with them that i want to know all that before i agree to marry someone..lol. who knows..they can be a psycho, yo!
i want to feel like that person is the only person i could ever see myself with. because i can't ever see myself settling for less.
i have always had such high expectations. when jas and i were together and broke up i was convinced he was the nicest guy in the world and how could i have been so jerky to him and he was the best thing ever...bs bs bs....then i started to remember back to times and situations where he was the biggest ass in the world, and then i'm like...oh yea...
that relationship messed me up big time...i don't think it's made me jaded, but it's made me really look at what i do want from a person and if they don't have it, then i move on. i don't waste my time on things that i know won't go anywhere. some people say that is being too picky...but i think it's just being selective. what you think?
xoxo
amby