a day of uncertain weather...
captured in a frame forever
a face in a faded photograph...
i've been excssively contemplative over the past week or so, for reasons that are as of yet eluding me. part of it, i think, has been a general feeling of unwellness...headaches and weather related malaise that has kept me from being motivated to do anything, really.
i feel stuck, mostly. things are moving just way too slowly for me, and it's unnerving and upsetting me. i know it's upsetting some other people as well, to varying degrees. i am hopeful that people know i'm going as fast as i can...it just doesn't seem fast enough for me or anyone else. that bothers me.
i finally screwed up my courage today and called brett kull from echolyn. he gave me his phone number so we could talk about some stuff that's happening to both of us at the same time. i've had the number since 12 july...sitting. so i finally decide to call today and...i get his answering machine. you may laugh now. i proceeded to blather on his machine like some idiot fan boy. i suppose in some ways i am...i just don't like looking or sounding like one. maybe he'll call back. maybe he'll drop me an e-mail. he's not the only member of the band, apparently, who wants to hang out with me either...this is weird. i'm the one who should want to hang out with them...and i do...it shouldn't be the other way around! the fan/band equation is being turned on its head, and it's weird. it does remind me i need to get some prints done for them like i promised them...and really, when you think about it...how weird is that? being asked to make prints of photos you took by the band you took them of? the mind spins. you'd think the pix were good or something...
otherwise, the weather has been hot, we had a huge chunk of tree come down int he yard here, and my thoughts are not in new jerswey; rather, they are 390-some miles away. and while my thoughts are there...
...my body is here.
...and that's what bothers me the most