(no subject)
So here I am, wasting the last few hours on one of my days off, and I get a popup telling me I have a new LJ comment. Curious, I open the email and it is actually a legitimate email, not one of the countless spam I have seen over the years. The comment itself was spam, sure, but it brought back a lot of memories.
Memories about how I once had my life so pinned down I had to give out my password to a trusted friend, so they could change it so that even I did not have access. Living with an internet that cut out at 9pm and did not start until 7am the next morning, that was quite fun. (Although years later, when I was working an overnight job from 4pm to 1am, I complained and my parents pulled that restriction down, they had forgotten about it)
So where to begin? My last entry was over 3 years ago now, and even the last few were nothing substantial. It is a little strange seeing 160 weeks and yet still remembering it like it was almost yesterday.
Currently I am in Tempe, AZ, where I have been living for the last two and a half years. About three years ago, I found myself in quite a bad situation. I had managed to secure loans for my first two years of college, including one year abroad (England) but found that all my co-signers no longer qualified. The economy was in a downward spiral, and one of my biggest concerns was to not be staying with my parents (Which would have been a very awkward situation, even if just for me.) This was Summer/Fall of 2008.
My only option was to move in with my then-Gf down here, who was a year away from being done with a degree (BA-Computer Game Design) at Collins College. Although the recruiter thought I could get loans and pretty much promised them, Turns out I had the same problem, a lack of a qualifying cosigner.
Well, she lost her job and my transfer had fallen through, so we managed to live off of my credit for a few months before I landed a job, nothing to be proud of, another job at McDonalds. Was a pay cut from my Wal-Mart job for additional work, but it was enough to cover rent, food, and my loans. Her relatives pitched in enough to cover our transportation for 2 months (Bus) for both of us, and although she finished school, nobody was hiring. So I got her a temporary job working with me. (Even with my experience, she got paid .50c more an hour than I did, go figure).
After about six months we moved another close friend of mine in after his relationship fell apart. My boss was asking me if I knew anyone who needed a part time job, as the last person I recommended was one of the best we had. Turns out I did, and the job was full time from day 1. For a couple months, things were really nice. We had 3 paychecks coming in, even if they were all minimum wage type jobs, we have one of the cheapest apartments in the area (that is both on the bus route and utilities included) at ~$650 a month.
Me and my then GF had been growing apart all this time. Nothing major like a fight or anything, but we just found we had a lot less in common than we thought. She was a VERY social person, and also seemed to be the center of drama on 3-4 forums at the time, including being one of the most-banned and unbanned people on FA.
She went on a trip for two weeks to visit one of her 'pets' and then upon returning, informed us that she was moving out (to live with some other friends in the midwest). This caught us all by surprise, including our employer, who a week or two before she left was asking me if everything seemed alright, as her performance had been slipping a little. I thought it was just her planning the vacation)
So that left two of us in the apartment, which still kept rent reasonable, even if it was just for a 1 bedroom. (The couch has always been fine for me.) This was January/February of 2010.
Starting December of 2009 (Well Fall of 2009 first, then December), one of my bosses had put me up for promotion to Swing Manager, and their successor after they left did the same thing. This caught My GMs eye and he followed up on it, and starting in January I attended several classes on management. After about 4 of them they gave me the uniform to wear, although I was not yet certified.
I found out management is not as easy as it looks, not that I thought it would be a walk in the park. Part of the difficulty is that I am not bilingual, and Arizona is Spanish country, especially at the lower wage jobs. About half my co-workers know limited to no English, and I have very limited Spanish. Over several months (Most of them with our new Supervisor, who was of course the strictest of the lot) I managed to train for and pass my verifications in late June.
Effective date of my certification was July 1st, 2010, and a very good thing that was. The last week in June we had an incident on an overnight shift that cost us one of our limited overnight workers as well as one of our managers. (Employee quit and threatened to sue, manager was transferred, as nothing could be proven either way.)
So that week I worked 7 nights of overnight, then another six the next week. Oh, and my break the week before had been Monday and Tuesday, so I worked 18 days in a row, 8+ hours a day. Almost all my shifts went late, due due a double standard beyond my control. So that first paycheck with my raise on it was something like 92 hours regular pay, 35 hours overtime. I think I paid ~$250 in taxes on that check, 25% of my taxes year to date.
Since then my GM was transferred, my Supervisor was replaced with the original one we had (The 'new' one received the new position involving training) I am hoping I can hit the year mark in management for a few reasons, partially in that once I do it looks good on my resume. I do want out of the fast food industry, it is a very stressful place to be, but with both my limited transportation (bus) and lack of a completed education, very few places want to hire me.
...
I was hoping to earn enough money to attend school at some point here, but it looks like that may still be a year or three away. I am not sure why it is, but I have just felt drained for the last eight or nine months, I keep trying to start new things, to pick up the life I ended up putting on hold, but I never find the energy.
I have been 'invisible' on all my IM clients now for six or seven months just so that the few people who spam me when they are bored do not do so, I just do not have the energy and I hate to leave people feeling offended because I ignore them. But then I am also not usually interested in a quick roll in the hay, which is what they usually want. To be honest, most of them I am not sure where they even found me from.
Most of the forums/chats that I have used over the last few years have all closed on me, or the site shifted focus and much of the crowd that was there moved on. I think the last chatroom I was in was over a year ago by this time. Which I find amusing as from 2005-2009 all I did was hang out in a single chat room, just hoping someone interesting would talk with me.
As for what I have been doing in my free time the last few months:
Minecraft (Alpha/Beta)
Miner Wars 2081 (Pre-Alpha)
Re-reading all the books in the Dune universe in order.
Reading most of C.J.Cherryhs' work. (Absolutely in love with how real her characters are, both human and non-human, as well as how she actually gets into non-human psychology as well as inter-species language barriers.)
Various other Sci-fi/Fantasy Authors (Naomi Navik, off the top of my head.)
...
I am not really sure what else to add at this point. Not really sure who will even see this, or if I will recognize the name on anyone that does. I used to pride myself on my memory, but the last few years it has started to fail me. I can still remember some of the best times of my life were with my core friends from the guild here. Although the few times I tried to go back I never felt I belonged anymore. I fell between generations, I was on the young end of the old guild, and the 'new' one felt like it was made up of the current facebook/twitter/myspace generation which I have never really connected with. (I guess most would say that is my generation, but I 'feel' older than that, even if not by much.) I know plenty of people who use it and stay sane, but when I look at what I see in some of the younger age groups right now, many cannot live without access to those services.
It is almost funny, the longer I look for a place to fit in the less I find I fit in anywhere.
Memories about how I once had my life so pinned down I had to give out my password to a trusted friend, so they could change it so that even I did not have access. Living with an internet that cut out at 9pm and did not start until 7am the next morning, that was quite fun. (Although years later, when I was working an overnight job from 4pm to 1am, I complained and my parents pulled that restriction down, they had forgotten about it)
So where to begin? My last entry was over 3 years ago now, and even the last few were nothing substantial. It is a little strange seeing 160 weeks and yet still remembering it like it was almost yesterday.
Currently I am in Tempe, AZ, where I have been living for the last two and a half years. About three years ago, I found myself in quite a bad situation. I had managed to secure loans for my first two years of college, including one year abroad (England) but found that all my co-signers no longer qualified. The economy was in a downward spiral, and one of my biggest concerns was to not be staying with my parents (Which would have been a very awkward situation, even if just for me.) This was Summer/Fall of 2008.
My only option was to move in with my then-Gf down here, who was a year away from being done with a degree (BA-Computer Game Design) at Collins College. Although the recruiter thought I could get loans and pretty much promised them, Turns out I had the same problem, a lack of a qualifying cosigner.
Well, she lost her job and my transfer had fallen through, so we managed to live off of my credit for a few months before I landed a job, nothing to be proud of, another job at McDonalds. Was a pay cut from my Wal-Mart job for additional work, but it was enough to cover rent, food, and my loans. Her relatives pitched in enough to cover our transportation for 2 months (Bus) for both of us, and although she finished school, nobody was hiring. So I got her a temporary job working with me. (Even with my experience, she got paid .50c more an hour than I did, go figure).
After about six months we moved another close friend of mine in after his relationship fell apart. My boss was asking me if I knew anyone who needed a part time job, as the last person I recommended was one of the best we had. Turns out I did, and the job was full time from day 1. For a couple months, things were really nice. We had 3 paychecks coming in, even if they were all minimum wage type jobs, we have one of the cheapest apartments in the area (that is both on the bus route and utilities included) at ~$650 a month.
Me and my then GF had been growing apart all this time. Nothing major like a fight or anything, but we just found we had a lot less in common than we thought. She was a VERY social person, and also seemed to be the center of drama on 3-4 forums at the time, including being one of the most-banned and unbanned people on FA.
She went on a trip for two weeks to visit one of her 'pets' and then upon returning, informed us that she was moving out (to live with some other friends in the midwest). This caught us all by surprise, including our employer, who a week or two before she left was asking me if everything seemed alright, as her performance had been slipping a little. I thought it was just her planning the vacation)
So that left two of us in the apartment, which still kept rent reasonable, even if it was just for a 1 bedroom. (The couch has always been fine for me.) This was January/February of 2010.
Starting December of 2009 (Well Fall of 2009 first, then December), one of my bosses had put me up for promotion to Swing Manager, and their successor after they left did the same thing. This caught My GMs eye and he followed up on it, and starting in January I attended several classes on management. After about 4 of them they gave me the uniform to wear, although I was not yet certified.
I found out management is not as easy as it looks, not that I thought it would be a walk in the park. Part of the difficulty is that I am not bilingual, and Arizona is Spanish country, especially at the lower wage jobs. About half my co-workers know limited to no English, and I have very limited Spanish. Over several months (Most of them with our new Supervisor, who was of course the strictest of the lot) I managed to train for and pass my verifications in late June.
Effective date of my certification was July 1st, 2010, and a very good thing that was. The last week in June we had an incident on an overnight shift that cost us one of our limited overnight workers as well as one of our managers. (Employee quit and threatened to sue, manager was transferred, as nothing could be proven either way.)
So that week I worked 7 nights of overnight, then another six the next week. Oh, and my break the week before had been Monday and Tuesday, so I worked 18 days in a row, 8+ hours a day. Almost all my shifts went late, due due a double standard beyond my control. So that first paycheck with my raise on it was something like 92 hours regular pay, 35 hours overtime. I think I paid ~$250 in taxes on that check, 25% of my taxes year to date.
Since then my GM was transferred, my Supervisor was replaced with the original one we had (The 'new' one received the new position involving training) I am hoping I can hit the year mark in management for a few reasons, partially in that once I do it looks good on my resume. I do want out of the fast food industry, it is a very stressful place to be, but with both my limited transportation (bus) and lack of a completed education, very few places want to hire me.
...
I was hoping to earn enough money to attend school at some point here, but it looks like that may still be a year or three away. I am not sure why it is, but I have just felt drained for the last eight or nine months, I keep trying to start new things, to pick up the life I ended up putting on hold, but I never find the energy.
I have been 'invisible' on all my IM clients now for six or seven months just so that the few people who spam me when they are bored do not do so, I just do not have the energy and I hate to leave people feeling offended because I ignore them. But then I am also not usually interested in a quick roll in the hay, which is what they usually want. To be honest, most of them I am not sure where they even found me from.
Most of the forums/chats that I have used over the last few years have all closed on me, or the site shifted focus and much of the crowd that was there moved on. I think the last chatroom I was in was over a year ago by this time. Which I find amusing as from 2005-2009 all I did was hang out in a single chat room, just hoping someone interesting would talk with me.
As for what I have been doing in my free time the last few months:
Minecraft (Alpha/Beta)
Miner Wars 2081 (Pre-Alpha)
Re-reading all the books in the Dune universe in order.
Reading most of C.J.Cherryhs' work. (Absolutely in love with how real her characters are, both human and non-human, as well as how she actually gets into non-human psychology as well as inter-species language barriers.)
Various other Sci-fi/Fantasy Authors (Naomi Navik, off the top of my head.)
...
I am not really sure what else to add at this point. Not really sure who will even see this, or if I will recognize the name on anyone that does. I used to pride myself on my memory, but the last few years it has started to fail me. I can still remember some of the best times of my life were with my core friends from the guild here. Although the few times I tried to go back I never felt I belonged anymore. I fell between generations, I was on the young end of the old guild, and the 'new' one felt like it was made up of the current facebook/twitter/myspace generation which I have never really connected with. (I guess most would say that is my generation, but I 'feel' older than that, even if not by much.) I know plenty of people who use it and stay sane, but when I look at what I see in some of the younger age groups right now, many cannot live without access to those services.
It is almost funny, the longer I look for a place to fit in the less I find I fit in anywhere.