Wedding Traditions of the World and You
I decided to upload a paper I wrote in my first semester of college. It's about unique wedding traditions around the world and how to use them as well as other ideas to make a wedding seem less like everyone elses. Mind you, I wrote this before I had really started planning this wedding so it's really... naive and a little ignorant. :P I got a pretty good grade on it regardless.
Wedding Traditions of the World and You
How to use unique or forgotten traditions to give your wedding pizazz, as well as other interesting wedding ideas.
Kerstin A. Moranec
ENG-111-78
Ms. Kathleen King
November 11th, 2008
It's that special day, that one day that all girls dream of throughout their childhood. It's finally hers; diamond tiara, the enormous bouquet stuffed full of roses and lilies, and the rock that will be slipped upon her finger shortly. She has a gorgeous husband-to-be wearing a stunning black suit with matching groomsmen with an equal number of bridesmaids in equally stunning dresses; none of which match the sheer beauty of her ivory gown, glistening in the spotlight of her splendor. She gets to the altar, and recites her vows to her fiancée and once the ring is on her finger the officiate says those words that give girls goose bumps; “You may now kiss the bride.” The couple embraces in a long, passionate kiss in front of all of their closest friends and family. Following the wedding comes an elaborate yet wild reception of wines, cakes and hors d' oeuvres. Immediately after the newly weds are whisked off in a limousine to the airport to enjoy their long, romantic honeymoon.
It's not unlikely that ever girl growing up has this image of a 'perfect' wedding implanted in their heads. Once they reach adulthood and experience one themselves they suddenly realize that every single wedding they’ve experienced are the same plays with different cast members. Many of them probably turn to their mothers or best girlfriends and ask them “How can I make my wedding unique and memorable, and not a cookie cutter wedding?”
I am asking this question because I am engaged to be married and planning my own wedding, and after some research and a lot of reading, the answer to this is easier than you think. There's no reason to go out and spend thousands of dollars to have an overpaid planner give you a wedding that you think is special in it's own ways, but the only difference between it and the one you just attended was the china and choice of flowers. The answer is not in what you use, it's what you do! Instead of following the same guidebook your cousin used, ask your grandmother or other relative how they did it in the 'olden days.' Get some ideas and use them!
Mix traditions, let your husband-to-be wear a kilt regardless of whether he's Scottish or not. If you’re Lutheran, rebel against your religious stereotypes and married using a Jewish huppah, an outdoor canopy. “The huppah is said to represent the new home. The open sides represent hospitality” (Monger 157).
Common traditions in the United States that many brides follow when planning their wedding are white dresses, sealing the wedding with a kiss, wedding favors, tossing the bouquet and/or garter, carrying the bride over the threshold and throwing rice after the ceremony. A favorite tradition is the 'something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. Wedding-planning.org describes this tradition as “to insure a happy and lasing marriage, a bride should car something old from someone who has been married for a long time and something new, to carry into her new life. Something borrowed, 'borrowed happiness', something blue, 'the color blue has been associated with the purity and modesty'” (“Wedding Traditions” pg.4).
I'm fairly certain that many new couples follow these traditions because they don't know anything else. From Barbie toys to television programs, many of the weddings have been the same. It is also easy, added stress before a wedding could possibly wreck not only that special day but also your marriage. Most brides don't want to go out of their way to do something really out of the ordinary because it is 'too much trouble'.
In traditional Scottish weddings, the bride and groom would collect coins (pocket change) for the day of the ceremony. Once the couple leaves the church they would toss or scatter the coins for young children to collect.
While traditionally the coins would be gradually returned to the bride and groom over the next dozen years, I'm sure in a modern day wedding the children would love getting the smallest amount of change.
Also in these Scottish weddings, after the couple is escorted home, an oatcake or bannock would be broken over her head before she enters her new home. The cake would be passed around to everyone and everyone would have a piece. Afterwards the groom is free to carry his new bride over the threshold.
Is your family Russian? Have an Asian ceremony. Is your family Muslim? Have a cowboy themed wedding. Just simply changing it up can make your wedding as memorable as a celebrity's.
Then again, it's not entirely necessary to uproot every single tradition your family has and toss them out the window. Really you only need to throw in a few key ideas or moments to achieve that 'instant memory' status. While omitting a wedding staple such as the wedding cake can actually leave a negative smudge on your memory, replace it with something more interesting. Love pie? Find someone who can make a 3 or 4-tier pie, this would be especially suiting if you had a fall wedding and you matched it with pumpkin or sweet potato pie.
Location also has everything to do with how you have a special wedding. Anyone can have their ceremony in the neighborhood church and then party at the VFW or local hall; and you don't have to have a destination wedding to get the experience. For a more down to earth feel have your wedding in someplace less than perfect; such as in the middle of the woods or in a run down barn (make sure it's safe of course). Find the biggest and barest field in your area, where the closest man made object is a road in the distance and get married smack-dab in the middle of it. Party on the roof of your apartment complex, in a parking lot, or close down your whole street and have a block party to celebrate.
Time has as much importance in your wedding as where. Everyone gets married in the spring and summer, try a winter wedding! Prices are generally lower this time of the year anyways. A Christmas wedding is extremely affordable because you don't have to get much more decorations, just use the Christmas decor you already own. A New Years wedding is highly romantic, sealing the deal with a kiss at the stroke of midnight; what better way to start the new year than with your new husband or wife?
Some more ideas include; go barefoot! Request that all of your bridal party go shoe-less as well as your guests; this would work best if you're having your celebration outdoors in a garden or at a local beach. Instead of flowers, carry bouquets of feathers and ribbons, or maybe corral or Japanese paper fans. Instead of a written guest book (that you'll probably never, ever look at again) find a Polaroid camera for your guests to take pictures of themselves when they arrive. How about placing a pad of paper and a pen at each table and encourage your guests to leave notes to you throughout the reception (hopefully not that many will be inappropriate).
Don't like the color white? Wear a red dress. Don't like long dresses or white? Wear a tea length red dress with black heals. You'll make a big statement and I'm sure nobody will forget it.
T he Banner, a Weekly publication of the Christian Reformed Church, explains a number of worldwide wedding customs; “In Japan, purple is the traditional color of love, so a bride might wear purple. In the Czech Republic, people plant a tree in the newlyweds' yard and decorate it with ribbons and colored eggshells. Similarly, in Norway a pine tree is planted on either side of the newlyweds' front door to symbolize fertility” (Sterk pg.2).
Planting a tree in someone else's yard isn't everyone's piece of cake, especially since most states consider this as trespassing. However, you and your groom-to-be could plant a tree yourselves either in your own yard or donate one to a public park and return to it many years later (maybe on your tenth, twentieth, or fiftieth anniversary?) and remember that special day you shared with you and your friends. The tree can symbolize the strength of your love, growing stronger every year.
Of course, this does not mean that in the event of the dreaded 'd' word, you should chop the tree down; it is still just a tree.
In the end, really it's not all that hard to use somewhat forgotten or not well-known traditions in your own wedding. It's just a matter of mixing ideals and themes into your own dream. There is no reason for so many couples out there to have cookie-cutter weddings when many of them are very creative and willing to take the jump into fantastic ideas to start the rest of their lives together with.
So remember, break from the ordinary, resist temptation to 'go with the flow' or follow in your mother's exact footprints. Be yourself and try out new things, make your wedding the one everyone in your family will remember until their dying day.
Works Consulted
Dr. Helen Sterk. “My Big Fat Cheap Wedding.” Thebanner.org. June 2007.
29 October 2008 http://www.thebanner.org/magazine/article.cfm?article_id=1033.
Monger, George P. “Marriage Customs of the World.” Santa Barbara, California, ABC-Clio, Inc. 2004
O'Hair, Robin Murray. “Wedding The Atheist Way.” American Atheists. 2008. http://www.atheists.org/
29 October 2008 http://www.atheists.org/comingout/weddings/atheistweddings.html.
Rev. Christopher MacFarlane Tuttle FSA. “Old Scottish Wedding Traditions.” ScottishWeddingTraditions.net
2008. Vows from the Heart of Scotland. 29 October 2008 http://scottishweddingtraditions.net/traditions.htm.
“Same sex marriage in the non-European world.” Colorq.org. 29 October 2008.
http://www.colorq.org/Articles/article.aspx?d=2004&x=ssmarriage.
“Traditions of Marriage: Three Days of a Traditional Indian Muslim Wedding.” IslamOnline.net
28 October 2008. http://www.antomlife.net/English/Eid/1424/marriage/trade/article09.SHTML.
“Wedding” Wikipedia.org. 29 October 2008. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding.
“Wedding Traditions.” Wedding Planning: The First Steps to Wedding Planning. 28 October 2008
http://www.wedding-planning.org/wedding-traditions.html.
Works Cited
Dr. Helen Sterk. “My Big Fat Cheap Wedding” Thebanner.org. JUNE 2007.
29 October 2008. http://www.thebanner.org/magazine/article.cfm?article_id=1033.
Monger, George P. “Marriage Customs of the World.” Santa Barbara, California, ABC-Clio, Inc. 2004.
Rev. Christopher MacFarlane Tuttle FSA. “Old Scottish Wedding Traditions.” ScottishWeddingTraditions.net.
2008. Vows from the Heart of Scotland. 29 October 2008. http://scottishweddingtraditions.net/traditions.htm.
“Wedding Traditions.” Wedding Planning: The First Steps to Wedding Planning. 28 October 2008.
http://www.wedding-planning.org/wedding-traditions.html .
Wedding Traditions of the World and You
How to use unique or forgotten traditions to give your wedding pizazz, as well as other interesting wedding ideas.
Kerstin A. Moranec
ENG-111-78
Ms. Kathleen King
November 11th, 2008
It's that special day, that one day that all girls dream of throughout their childhood. It's finally hers; diamond tiara, the enormous bouquet stuffed full of roses and lilies, and the rock that will be slipped upon her finger shortly. She has a gorgeous husband-to-be wearing a stunning black suit with matching groomsmen with an equal number of bridesmaids in equally stunning dresses; none of which match the sheer beauty of her ivory gown, glistening in the spotlight of her splendor. She gets to the altar, and recites her vows to her fiancée and once the ring is on her finger the officiate says those words that give girls goose bumps; “You may now kiss the bride.” The couple embraces in a long, passionate kiss in front of all of their closest friends and family. Following the wedding comes an elaborate yet wild reception of wines, cakes and hors d' oeuvres. Immediately after the newly weds are whisked off in a limousine to the airport to enjoy their long, romantic honeymoon.
It's not unlikely that ever girl growing up has this image of a 'perfect' wedding implanted in their heads. Once they reach adulthood and experience one themselves they suddenly realize that every single wedding they’ve experienced are the same plays with different cast members. Many of them probably turn to their mothers or best girlfriends and ask them “How can I make my wedding unique and memorable, and not a cookie cutter wedding?”
I am asking this question because I am engaged to be married and planning my own wedding, and after some research and a lot of reading, the answer to this is easier than you think. There's no reason to go out and spend thousands of dollars to have an overpaid planner give you a wedding that you think is special in it's own ways, but the only difference between it and the one you just attended was the china and choice of flowers. The answer is not in what you use, it's what you do! Instead of following the same guidebook your cousin used, ask your grandmother or other relative how they did it in the 'olden days.' Get some ideas and use them!
Mix traditions, let your husband-to-be wear a kilt regardless of whether he's Scottish or not. If you’re Lutheran, rebel against your religious stereotypes and married using a Jewish huppah, an outdoor canopy. “The huppah is said to represent the new home. The open sides represent hospitality” (Monger 157).
Common traditions in the United States that many brides follow when planning their wedding are white dresses, sealing the wedding with a kiss, wedding favors, tossing the bouquet and/or garter, carrying the bride over the threshold and throwing rice after the ceremony. A favorite tradition is the 'something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. Wedding-planning.org describes this tradition as “to insure a happy and lasing marriage, a bride should car something old from someone who has been married for a long time and something new, to carry into her new life. Something borrowed, 'borrowed happiness', something blue, 'the color blue has been associated with the purity and modesty'” (“Wedding Traditions” pg.4).
I'm fairly certain that many new couples follow these traditions because they don't know anything else. From Barbie toys to television programs, many of the weddings have been the same. It is also easy, added stress before a wedding could possibly wreck not only that special day but also your marriage. Most brides don't want to go out of their way to do something really out of the ordinary because it is 'too much trouble'.
In traditional Scottish weddings, the bride and groom would collect coins (pocket change) for the day of the ceremony. Once the couple leaves the church they would toss or scatter the coins for young children to collect.
While traditionally the coins would be gradually returned to the bride and groom over the next dozen years, I'm sure in a modern day wedding the children would love getting the smallest amount of change.
Also in these Scottish weddings, after the couple is escorted home, an oatcake or bannock would be broken over her head before she enters her new home. The cake would be passed around to everyone and everyone would have a piece. Afterwards the groom is free to carry his new bride over the threshold.
Is your family Russian? Have an Asian ceremony. Is your family Muslim? Have a cowboy themed wedding. Just simply changing it up can make your wedding as memorable as a celebrity's.
Then again, it's not entirely necessary to uproot every single tradition your family has and toss them out the window. Really you only need to throw in a few key ideas or moments to achieve that 'instant memory' status. While omitting a wedding staple such as the wedding cake can actually leave a negative smudge on your memory, replace it with something more interesting. Love pie? Find someone who can make a 3 or 4-tier pie, this would be especially suiting if you had a fall wedding and you matched it with pumpkin or sweet potato pie.
Location also has everything to do with how you have a special wedding. Anyone can have their ceremony in the neighborhood church and then party at the VFW or local hall; and you don't have to have a destination wedding to get the experience. For a more down to earth feel have your wedding in someplace less than perfect; such as in the middle of the woods or in a run down barn (make sure it's safe of course). Find the biggest and barest field in your area, where the closest man made object is a road in the distance and get married smack-dab in the middle of it. Party on the roof of your apartment complex, in a parking lot, or close down your whole street and have a block party to celebrate.
Time has as much importance in your wedding as where. Everyone gets married in the spring and summer, try a winter wedding! Prices are generally lower this time of the year anyways. A Christmas wedding is extremely affordable because you don't have to get much more decorations, just use the Christmas decor you already own. A New Years wedding is highly romantic, sealing the deal with a kiss at the stroke of midnight; what better way to start the new year than with your new husband or wife?
Some more ideas include; go barefoot! Request that all of your bridal party go shoe-less as well as your guests; this would work best if you're having your celebration outdoors in a garden or at a local beach. Instead of flowers, carry bouquets of feathers and ribbons, or maybe corral or Japanese paper fans. Instead of a written guest book (that you'll probably never, ever look at again) find a Polaroid camera for your guests to take pictures of themselves when they arrive. How about placing a pad of paper and a pen at each table and encourage your guests to leave notes to you throughout the reception (hopefully not that many will be inappropriate).
Don't like the color white? Wear a red dress. Don't like long dresses or white? Wear a tea length red dress with black heals. You'll make a big statement and I'm sure nobody will forget it.
T he Banner, a Weekly publication of the Christian Reformed Church, explains a number of worldwide wedding customs; “In Japan, purple is the traditional color of love, so a bride might wear purple. In the Czech Republic, people plant a tree in the newlyweds' yard and decorate it with ribbons and colored eggshells. Similarly, in Norway a pine tree is planted on either side of the newlyweds' front door to symbolize fertility” (Sterk pg.2).
Planting a tree in someone else's yard isn't everyone's piece of cake, especially since most states consider this as trespassing. However, you and your groom-to-be could plant a tree yourselves either in your own yard or donate one to a public park and return to it many years later (maybe on your tenth, twentieth, or fiftieth anniversary?) and remember that special day you shared with you and your friends. The tree can symbolize the strength of your love, growing stronger every year.
Of course, this does not mean that in the event of the dreaded 'd' word, you should chop the tree down; it is still just a tree.
In the end, really it's not all that hard to use somewhat forgotten or not well-known traditions in your own wedding. It's just a matter of mixing ideals and themes into your own dream. There is no reason for so many couples out there to have cookie-cutter weddings when many of them are very creative and willing to take the jump into fantastic ideas to start the rest of their lives together with.
So remember, break from the ordinary, resist temptation to 'go with the flow' or follow in your mother's exact footprints. Be yourself and try out new things, make your wedding the one everyone in your family will remember until their dying day.
Works Consulted
Dr. Helen Sterk. “My Big Fat Cheap Wedding.” Thebanner.org. June 2007.
29 October 2008 http://www.thebanner.org/magazine/article.cfm?article_id=1033.
Monger, George P. “Marriage Customs of the World.” Santa Barbara, California, ABC-Clio, Inc. 2004
O'Hair, Robin Murray. “Wedding The Atheist Way.” American Atheists. 2008. http://www.atheists.org/
29 October 2008 http://www.atheists.org/comingout/weddings/atheistweddings.html.
Rev. Christopher MacFarlane Tuttle FSA. “Old Scottish Wedding Traditions.” ScottishWeddingTraditions.net
2008. Vows from the Heart of Scotland. 29 October 2008 http://scottishweddingtraditions.net/traditions.htm.
“Same sex marriage in the non-European world.” Colorq.org. 29 October 2008.
http://www.colorq.org/Articles/article.aspx?d=2004&x=ssmarriage.
“Traditions of Marriage: Three Days of a Traditional Indian Muslim Wedding.” IslamOnline.net
28 October 2008. http://www.antomlife.net/English/Eid/1424/marriage/trade/article09.SHTML.
“Wedding” Wikipedia.org. 29 October 2008. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding.
“Wedding Traditions.” Wedding Planning: The First Steps to Wedding Planning. 28 October 2008
http://www.wedding-planning.org/wedding-traditions.html.
Works Cited
Dr. Helen Sterk. “My Big Fat Cheap Wedding” Thebanner.org. JUNE 2007.
29 October 2008. http://www.thebanner.org/magazine/article.cfm?article_id=1033.
Monger, George P. “Marriage Customs of the World.” Santa Barbara, California, ABC-Clio, Inc. 2004.
Rev. Christopher MacFarlane Tuttle FSA. “Old Scottish Wedding Traditions.” ScottishWeddingTraditions.net.
2008. Vows from the Heart of Scotland. 29 October 2008. http://scottishweddingtraditions.net/traditions.htm.
“Wedding Traditions.” Wedding Planning: The First Steps to Wedding Planning. 28 October 2008.
http://www.wedding-planning.org/wedding-traditions.html .