(no subject)
my life used to be so different.
i dont know which version i like better.
this is a letter i wrote the summer before freshman year:
"kelsey,
i'm writing this to you because you're my bestfriend and i'm supposed to write about my peaceful place. i'm sure you can already guess what it is! my peaceful place is mainly with you and hen (henry) and skip (skipper), because i'm always happy when i'm with you guys and i always feel comfortable and accepted for who i really am! you guys can totally see past any fakeness. the most peaeful place in the world though is definitely when it's just you and me. it saves the guy drama, and you know about our special little silences that are silent without being uncomfy. you're so amazing! i'm like, dying of death just being away from you for so long and not being able to talk to you! the reason why being with you is so peaceful is because everything just fits."
i was in love with Preston. kelsey ross and i were best friends. i listened to dashboard confessional and yellowcard. i was carefree. my parents and i didn't fight.
a few minutes ago i was going through all my old supercamp stuff.
i've been playing old mix CD's that i made back in summer '05.
i got to a letter i wrote to preston but never sent and stupid fucking 'empty apartment' by yellowcard came on.
i just had a complete breakdown in my room.
my mom just came in here and slapped me.
it helped.
i was sitting in the middle of my room crying my heart out,
for everything i've lost.
for everything i've gained and taken advantage of.
for everything that i can't do.
for everything i can do but dont do.
and all the hurt i felt came back.
preston abandoning me.
charlie using me.
nick cheating on me.
sam ignoring me.
everything that went wrong in freshman year.
and the summer before.
at supercamp i had a picture of me and preston taped to the wall in my dorm
anyone who came into my room would comment on it, say how cute we were together.
if they knew him, they'd say how perfect we were for eachother.
i haven't thought about him for a while.
and i've realized that he's been gone from my heart for quite a while.
and he's been replaced.
by the single most incredible boy on the planet.
but there's still a part of me now that's broken, and empty, and hollow, and dull.
from all of prestons lies, and games.
and it hurts.
hopefully someday that'll be gone.
i dont know which version i like better.
this is a letter i wrote the summer before freshman year:
"kelsey,
i'm writing this to you because you're my bestfriend and i'm supposed to write about my peaceful place. i'm sure you can already guess what it is! my peaceful place is mainly with you and hen (henry) and skip (skipper), because i'm always happy when i'm with you guys and i always feel comfortable and accepted for who i really am! you guys can totally see past any fakeness. the most peaeful place in the world though is definitely when it's just you and me. it saves the guy drama, and you know about our special little silences that are silent without being uncomfy. you're so amazing! i'm like, dying of death just being away from you for so long and not being able to talk to you! the reason why being with you is so peaceful is because everything just fits."
i was in love with Preston. kelsey ross and i were best friends. i listened to dashboard confessional and yellowcard. i was carefree. my parents and i didn't fight.
a few minutes ago i was going through all my old supercamp stuff.
i've been playing old mix CD's that i made back in summer '05.
i got to a letter i wrote to preston but never sent and stupid fucking 'empty apartment' by yellowcard came on.
i just had a complete breakdown in my room.
my mom just came in here and slapped me.
it helped.
i was sitting in the middle of my room crying my heart out,
for everything i've lost.
for everything i've gained and taken advantage of.
for everything that i can't do.
for everything i can do but dont do.
and all the hurt i felt came back.
preston abandoning me.
charlie using me.
nick cheating on me.
sam ignoring me.
everything that went wrong in freshman year.
and the summer before.
at supercamp i had a picture of me and preston taped to the wall in my dorm
anyone who came into my room would comment on it, say how cute we were together.
if they knew him, they'd say how perfect we were for eachother.
i haven't thought about him for a while.
and i've realized that he's been gone from my heart for quite a while.
and he's been replaced.
by the single most incredible boy on the planet.
but there's still a part of me now that's broken, and empty, and hollow, and dull.
from all of prestons lies, and games.
and it hurts.
hopefully someday that'll be gone.