i quit

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something drastic needs to happen, i need to change
i need to be a better/smarter/funnier person
i felt like such a fucking idiot last night
if you were there, i'm sorry i'm so fucking annoying!
thanks for making me feel like shit.

i should've gone home last night
rather than hang out with people who i totally don't deserve to be around
i hate how much smater they all are
i'm really tired of always be like "huh? what? what's that?"

i don't get perfect test scores
i get F's

last night i didn't really walk with the group, because i felt like i was bugging people
i was walking behind everyone, and at some point (i dont remember this at all)
i must've started talking to myself, because i have this whole recorded ramble on my cell phone recordings.
it's just everything i've been feeling lately, that i've been to scared to talk about.
i'm so scared.
i don't know why i'm unhappy, but i really am.
i can't talk about it with people, so i write about it.
cause then it's less like talking.
i get uncomfortable around people now, for the most part i'd rather just be alone.

i won't excell
i think now that if i wanted to, i'd have enough guts to kill myself
then maybe i'd have control over something
control over whether or not i stay in this world

HONESTLY! HOW COULD SOMEONE THINK THAT TELLING YOU THAT YOU HAVE A VERY LOW I.Q. WOULDN'T MAKE YOU...
angry?
sad?
hurt?

it's true, i'm an idiot, i'm so fucking stupid it's revolting
at least someone finally said that they think the same thing to my face