(no subject)
Maddie is now at an age where she can actually talk to me on the phone. I love calling home and hearing her little voice in the background saying she wants to talk to aunti. So adorable! I love her so much :)
You know what else I love...I love Josh. Things are so great between us at the moment, and I am so happy about that. We definately hit some speed bumps, but that will come with any relationship no matter how amazing that relationship is. He is doing fabulous in LA...getting a lot of work, meeting some great people, figuring himself out...and I am so very proud of him :)
Something has changed in the way I view our relationship, in a good way of course. I am confident calling him my boyfriend, even though in the past, attaching that label completely scared me away. Josh was right, when I was in LA, I think I was indeed pushing him away, without even realizing I was doing it. I'm working on figuring out why exactly I have a tendancy to do that, because it has definately been a pattern throughout my life, a pattern that needs to come to a halt. I'm just glad I have grown past that as far as our relationship is concerned. I dont want to push him away, I want to put an end to my old ways and finally accept the fact that another man actually loves me and wants to be with me. Thats all I have ever wanted, to be in a meaningful relationship...well I have found just that, and for once I am not going to allow myself screw it up.
Life is good. I feel as though I finally have clarity and direction in my life, and I truly know what I want
...and I haven't even been to therapy yet :)
You know what else I love...I love Josh. Things are so great between us at the moment, and I am so happy about that. We definately hit some speed bumps, but that will come with any relationship no matter how amazing that relationship is. He is doing fabulous in LA...getting a lot of work, meeting some great people, figuring himself out...and I am so very proud of him :)
Something has changed in the way I view our relationship, in a good way of course. I am confident calling him my boyfriend, even though in the past, attaching that label completely scared me away. Josh was right, when I was in LA, I think I was indeed pushing him away, without even realizing I was doing it. I'm working on figuring out why exactly I have a tendancy to do that, because it has definately been a pattern throughout my life, a pattern that needs to come to a halt. I'm just glad I have grown past that as far as our relationship is concerned. I dont want to push him away, I want to put an end to my old ways and finally accept the fact that another man actually loves me and wants to be with me. Thats all I have ever wanted, to be in a meaningful relationship...well I have found just that, and for once I am not going to allow myself screw it up.
Life is good. I feel as though I finally have clarity and direction in my life, and I truly know what I want
...and I haven't even been to therapy yet :)