i told myself i wont call myself stupid this time
it just so happened that i am not afraid to give it a shot. then, while i am at this, let me be on my limits, until i give up and tell myself "i told you so."
of all of me, this is the one i love and hate most about myself. somehow, i learned to love the feeling of stretching myself to my limits and see how things will not work out and know in the end that it is not really meant for me. rather than refusing things to take place and forever wonder and murder myself on the possibilities of the "what ifs". that fact that i knew the result satisfies me. However, i hate not the hurt it brings , but the thought of letting myself be hurt eventhough i know from the very start how will the story end, that it shouldn't even exist. For letting my poor heart lost its guard that i promised that it deserves
so much hurt
yet so much love to feel that you are alive.
of all of me, this is the one i love and hate most about myself. somehow, i learned to love the feeling of stretching myself to my limits and see how things will not work out and know in the end that it is not really meant for me. rather than refusing things to take place and forever wonder and murder myself on the possibilities of the "what ifs". that fact that i knew the result satisfies me. However, i hate not the hurt it brings , but the thought of letting myself be hurt eventhough i know from the very start how will the story end, that it shouldn't even exist. For letting my poor heart lost its guard that i promised that it deserves
so much hurt
yet so much love to feel that you are alive.