[NYC] Special Delivery

[imnodoctor]

Who: Riley & Evie
Where: Mount Sinai Medical Centre, New York
When: Friday evening
Follows: THIS___________________________________________________

Comments

[imnodoctor]

Evie rubbed her hand against his back and nodded. It was true, they weren't the only ones to have crap parents and their really were things that were so much worse in life. She let out a sigh and glanced up at him. "Maybe Tab needs to talk to a professional? Try and get the anger worked out once and for all. Maybe it's not healthy, but the anger is there for a reason."

[pullmysteth]

"All anger is there for a reason," Riley murmured. He kicked his toes against a spot on the elevator floor. "Tab's stubborn. Talking to a professional won't help. She prefers to be angry at my mother than anything else. I've never felt anger towards them. Frustration, yes. Not anger. They're still my parents. I still love them."

[imnodoctor]

Evie rest her head against Riley's chest, but as soon as she was comfortable the elevator dinged and the doors opened up. She kept one arm around Riley as they got off. "Maybe she just feels like your mother has done her a greater injustice? I don't know, I'm not Tab. Frustrated is probably healthier, but if she won't talk about it, even to a professional than the anger will always be there."

[pullmysteth]

"Yeah, probably," Riley said with a slight shrug. "I've lived with it for twenty odd years. It's not like I'm not used to it. I don't have to agree with it, though. There have been times she's gotten pissed with me for not being as angry at Mum as she was. In our younger days, of course. I was always a fence sitter. I didn't like discontent or confrontation. The fights between them... when I was a kid, I used to sit in my wardrobe and cry." He laughed softly. "I've always been a wimp."

[imnodoctor]

"I know your sister has spunk, but it is really hard to imagine anyone getting her pissed off enough for her to fight with them. You're not a wimp, Riley. No one should actually like confrontation. Just some of us are more prone to it than others." She squeezed his side and headed down the corridor towards Maternity. "She does sound like she needs to let it go."

[pullmysteth]

Riley spotted the Maternity nursery ahead of them. "I can't lecture on letting anything go. At least not now. I lost all my rational reasoning with my diagnosis." He stopped in front of the window with a smile. "I'm trying to remember what Luke said the girl's name was who his cousin has a crush on. Sullivan, I think. I wonder if her baby is here."

[imnodoctor]

Evie touched her hand to the glass as she looked in on all the newborns, scanning to see if she could read the names. "No one will hold that against you, Riley. It's a huge life change that you've had to deal with while a lot of other stuff has been going on. I'm sorry if I ever make it hard on you. You know I don't ever mean to push you into something." She pointed to a baby wrapped in a pink blanket in the third row. "Does that say Sullivan, or Oliver? I swear the nurse who wrote these tags needs to get her eyes checked. Or maybe I do."

[pullmysteth]

"That looks a bit bit for a premmie," Riley said and leaned forward to try and see the tag better. "I think it's Oliver."

He looked over the other cribs. "You don't make things hard on me. I just feel like I'm forever making excuses with you not to do things. I feel crap when I'm not horny or turned on when you are. I just still feel isolated from everyone sometimes, and that's my fault. I need to come to terms with it all and stop feeling like leper." He pointed to a crib in the first row just along from them with a tiny pink baby bundle that had a brush of soft blonde hair. "Sullivan," he said with a smile.

[imnodoctor]

"Oh my god, she's beautiful," Evie gushed, her eyes lighting up as she saw the tiny baby. "Aw..." Of course the cluckiness returned with a vengeance but she was trying hard to ignore it.

"You don't ever have to apologise, sexy. I've told you that. I'll take you anyway I can get you. And for the record you're a very gorgeous leper and one that I'll love. I'll even pick up your fallen off body parts and keep them in jars all preserved." She turned her head away from the baby and looked up at Riley. "You know it's real love when I'm willing to pickle your arms and legs," Evie told him with a smile.

[pullmysteth]

Riley pressed his forehead against the glass as he watched the infant. She was tiny and no doubt had gorgeous looking parents. She looked like the sort of baby people would pay to have in their adverts dressed like bugs and mushrooms or something. He wondered what a baby of his own would look like. He always wanted kids at some point. In fact, before the HIV, it was more a matter of 'when' than anything else. Now it just scared him.

He screwed his nose up. "That's just ew," he said with a soft laugh. "Maybe no one gets a normal easy. This one's mother apparently just lost someone close to her. He was murdered, like a few weeks ago. Now she has to be a mother on her own. Why can't things be easy for good people?"

[imnodoctor]

"That's just awful," Evie murmured as she went back to watching the baby.

She knew it scared Riley, the idea of kids. Of what it could mean for her and the child. Riley was the first guy that had ever made Evie stop to think about settling down and having a family with. She wanted to give him a family but there were still so many unknown factors with how and when.

"Maybe it's a way to see if good people will stay good? Keep testing them to see if they'll deviate from the path. Fuck knows. Mostly I think it's just bullshit. No one should have to suffer like the mother. Or you, or Tara and Lachlan."

[pullmysteth]

"As selfish and ungrateful as it sounds, I sometimes just wish all the shit was gone and there was no crap. Some people go through their whole lives not knowing anything bad or painful. I wish I was one of them sometimes."

He rested his palm against the glass and watched the tiny baby sleeping. "Totally oblivious to the crap her Mum's probably had to shoulder," he said with a wry smile. "But maybe she might give her knew hope or something. How could something that sweet-looking not bring at least some new hope?"

[imnodoctor]

"It's normal to wish that, Riley. I'd give it to you in a heartbeat if I could. I'd do anything to make you happy," Evie told him softly.

"Babies are so... I think when you look at your kid you just know you did something right. Makes you feel like if nothing else you've got this beautiful bundle of new human that'll give you something to live for."

[pullmysteth]

"I don't know if I'd be strong enough to do it..." Riley said softly, green eyes sweeping over the babies. "Physically... mentally... What happens if you do it then you have a kid and suddenly realise you can't fucking handle it at all?"

[imnodoctor]

Evie wet her lips as she looked in on Baby Sullivan. "You become your parents," she suggested. "I don't know, sweetheart. I always hoped if I ever found myself with a kid I'd be able to love them. Even if it took a little time, I'd still love them and want to look after them."

[pullmysteth]

"I would never become my parents," Riley said snappily, looking at her with a frown. He drew a small breath through his nose and let it out as he looked back to the newborns. ""And I would never not love my kid. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have the strength to cope. I don't know if I could cope being a parent."