Just... fuck :(
I have been going to college for the last week, sort of introduction to college but it does not start for months. I really hate to say it but I hate college. It was so hard to get in and I'm very lucky to get a place in a good well-known college. So I should be happy and having fun doing something I love, acting. It's only a week but it is not as fun, friendly or inspiring as I thought it would be. College is 9-5 five days a week. It also takes about 2 hours for me to get there. I feel like I don't fit in and my class is full of girls that care more about how their hair looks than acting, and boys who just mess around in class. Many people walk off during group work to have a cigarette or talk to their friends, and the teachers talk a lot about how disciplined the college is but they don't seem to care. My teachers are assholes. Yesterday they said anyone late for class was going on a disciplinary contract. Two airheaded girls turned up half an hour late and the teachers said nothing and appeared to do nothing about it. WTF. So I should be able to turn up barely 2 minutes late because I got lost in the college without them telling me off in front of the whole class. Apparantly not. Fuckers. The whole thing is so unorganized we waste hours of time every day. 2 hour long breaks, with nothing to do, WTF. Fuck the breaks, I would rather go home earlier ! Then I have no time to do anything at all when I get home. I'm so tired when I get home at about 7pm I go to sleep, then back to this hell the next day. I have been crying a lot because I hate that I hate the thing that my life is going to revolve around, and I am dreading starting college full time. I love acting and need the qualification which is the only reason I am doing this. I can't seem to connect with any of my class, since we have absolutely nothing in common and nothing to talk about, and at the end of the day I'm so fed up I just don't care about making friends.
I have a performance tomorrow. Half of my group does not care that we put on a good performance and did not rehearse properly ! We're going to look like idiots woohoo ! Thank god it's over. I hope a lot of the idiots here get kicked out.
I guess this is a "get it off your chest" post. I don't have anyone else to talk to. My parents don't want to know I don't like college. I'm trying to act happy for my friends and boyfriend. It's very hard.
I have a performance tomorrow. Half of my group does not care that we put on a good performance and did not rehearse properly ! We're going to look like idiots woohoo ! Thank god it's over. I hope a lot of the idiots here get kicked out.
I guess this is a "get it off your chest" post. I don't have anyone else to talk to. My parents don't want to know I don't like college. I'm trying to act happy for my friends and boyfriend. It's very hard.