// Tsuyi tsuyoi hikari... tsuyoku mae he susume //
~The strong, strong light... I'll move forward and be strong~
Finally, the end, for about 3 weeks, and then it's revision sessions and exams. Apart from that, I'll be back at school properly in a month.
I think I'm boring. XD Oh well.
I've gone to the point where I'm just all for myself because... I dunno. Maybe I'm afraid. I'm afraid of getting hurt by friendships because people always let me down and sure, I forgive them usually but ah... doesn't that mean it's happened more than once? I don't *really* know what the hell I'm saying... but what I mean is that I'm not even... 'living' just to wait for love again. Feelings haven't changed, and I still do care, it's just that I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'll get let down again and it'll all be worse than it was. Because it's the second-third time and it goes back to the whole forgiveness thing. I used to hate myself because I was too forgiving so I gave it up. And even so, I get insecure when I do see them again, and then I find it hard to talk to them, and they don't really make that effort to talk to me, so 's all pointless...
Anyway, I'm actually at the point where I am all for myself; this term, I don't think I've ever worked so hard (although it's not THAT hard) but it's the only thing that's keeping me content and I guess it makes me happy that even though my predicted grades aren't best ever (2 B's, a C and a *cough* U), it's much better than it would've ever been if I hadn't tried and if I kept the attitude that I had 2 years ago. I think these are alright baseline grades.
I don't have a life, I know. I'm not sad though. I keep looking to the future. So ermm... it's not so much that I've given up on hope, I'm just a bit more realistic and focusing on reality and the near future or present... present.
---
Ohh yeah, I had this most amusing dream the other week and I told my friend today it, since she was in it.
Me: Sex is really really short, isn't it?
Friend: Yeah, it really is... Most people last for 8 seconds... but *I*.. can last for 10 *so proud*
I don't remember my dreams often but when I do, they're amusing as hell.
I love my inexistant life. But anyway, I'm smart, according to people who LIE. XDDD And hilarious. But I was just being myself with two of my friends who find everything amusing. But they looked like they were gonna die laughing. =3 And I'm awesome. Just 'cause I am. XDD Aw, I should really start my phrase up again... "I am awesome >_>"
Today was quite amusing since I completely forgot about some people in the sixth form in doing Christmas cards so since today was the last day, I wrote their Christmas card in front of them (AND the sealed it in the envelope) and they did the same to me and we were all "aw, how THOUGHTFUL." XDD
We had a postbox to put cards into, like they do in primary school, but in the end, people just took them when they were sorted instead of calling people's names out which was kinda disappointing! Anyway, on the subject of cards...
Ca Ling Ngo
18 Highbury Avenue
Thornton Heath
Surrey
United Kingdom
CR7 8BN
I was watching episode 1 of 1 Litre of Tears and... I didn't know this song was in it! And... I saw a One Piece figure! How odd!
~Miko