;: I hope you can hear me 'cause I remember it clearly... the day you slipped away :;
And this is why I needed time off.
Because every single time I'm actually bloody happy, there's a part of me that thinks it's fake. I haven't felt like this for 2 years and I thought I was over this stage now but no... I know, it's not fake! But... the fact that it goes away so damn easily saddens me. And why does it go? Because someone brings it down without ever meaning to. But it's no use blaming others. It's my fault for feeling like this, crying over little, petty things ahah... I'm not even insecure over that thing that made me insecure in the first place but it triggered everything that made me stable. And now I don't feel myself. To be honest, a big part of myself doesn't even want to return back to not having time off. Because knowing me, I'd probably ruin a lot of friendships by saying things I don't mean, falling into a depression and crap. Falling from an absolute high to reaching to the point where you just hate yourself is an awful feeling. But all I'm doing is pretending I'm okay, like nothing's wrong but there's only so much you can pretend is okay.
I wish... I was back to the way I was.
~Qex
Because every single time I'm actually bloody happy, there's a part of me that thinks it's fake. I haven't felt like this for 2 years and I thought I was over this stage now but no... I know, it's not fake! But... the fact that it goes away so damn easily saddens me. And why does it go? Because someone brings it down without ever meaning to. But it's no use blaming others. It's my fault for feeling like this, crying over little, petty things ahah... I'm not even insecure over that thing that made me insecure in the first place but it triggered everything that made me stable. And now I don't feel myself. To be honest, a big part of myself doesn't even want to return back to not having time off. Because knowing me, I'd probably ruin a lot of friendships by saying things I don't mean, falling into a depression and crap. Falling from an absolute high to reaching to the point where you just hate yourself is an awful feeling. But all I'm doing is pretending I'm okay, like nothing's wrong but there's only so much you can pretend is okay.
I wish... I was back to the way I was.
~Qex