(no subject)
In a way, writing this down helps - so bear with me.
At night, when I'm by myself, I think about him. About how different it feels not to have the telephone to my ear, relishing the sound of his voice. I miss him, but now the difference is...I can't do anything about it.
I can play my piano, but it only reminds me of the night we stayed up teaching each other songs.
I can watch my Family Guy DVDs, but it only reminds me of every joke we ever told.
I can read - but it only makes me think of how much he hates to read.
It's just...
I can't escape. Everything brings me back to him. And...it's not that I want to lose my memories of our relationship. No way - it's just...I want to not be in pain anymore. I feel like that's not very much to ask, but I suppose it is. It was my decision; I know it was the right one. It just hurts. Lots.
But, I'll make it. I'm strong, I suppose. If I have to be.
At night, when I'm by myself, I think about him. About how different it feels not to have the telephone to my ear, relishing the sound of his voice. I miss him, but now the difference is...I can't do anything about it.
I can play my piano, but it only reminds me of the night we stayed up teaching each other songs.
I can watch my Family Guy DVDs, but it only reminds me of every joke we ever told.
I can read - but it only makes me think of how much he hates to read.
It's just...
I can't escape. Everything brings me back to him. And...it's not that I want to lose my memories of our relationship. No way - it's just...I want to not be in pain anymore. I feel like that's not very much to ask, but I suppose it is. It was my decision; I know it was the right one. It just hurts. Lots.
But, I'll make it. I'm strong, I suppose. If I have to be.