Are You Who You Really Think You Are?
I haven't updated this site in a year and a half! Wow. Here I am though.
Tonight, I hung out with my friend, Rachel, and we got to talk about life and the things that are going on with us. It was good to talk to someone who understands some of the issues that I'm really struggling with right now.
Why can't I have financial security? Why do I have to struggle? The other day I was in the supermarket, in the meat aisle, debating between buying a package of pork chops for $6 or a huge package of chicken drumsticks for $3.50. I finally went with the drumsticks. I have never had to struggle with choosing food based on price. No matter how much I may have had to deprive myself of cable TV or a piece of clothing, I have never deprived myself of food or choosing the type of food I've wanted to eat. That was a sad moment for me.
It's interesting how this situation has gotten me thinking about the things we want most in life and how those things begin to define who you are -- not necessarily to yourself -- but to other people. (Because in some sense, you are never actually the person that you perceive yourself to be. In actuality you're a skewed version of that person you envision.)
So I started thinking about the thing that I want most in life and how that shapes who I am and how that thing defines other people's perception of me. Because no matter how clever we think we are at concealing our heart's desire, people see through that and into who we really are. And that is a vulnerable feeling. I don't know if I like that.
I think about my friends and the things that they want most in life. Greg just wants to serve the Lord through Bible studies and church and stuff. Andy's mom just wants to take care of her kids. Nicole just wants to be a mom. Joe just wants to make a lot of money and be successful in his career. Kandi just wants to be a wife and a mom. April just wants to love the Lord. Andy just wants to be creative, and to create things.
What are the things that define me, for better or for worse? How do people perceive me? I want to be well-to-do? I want to buy designer clothes? I want to eat well? In actuality I want to be perceived as someone who loves my friends, who is devoted to God's word and the church. But until my heart is that, I will not be perceived that way. Your true self always comes through, for better or for worse.
Tonight, I hung out with my friend, Rachel, and we got to talk about life and the things that are going on with us. It was good to talk to someone who understands some of the issues that I'm really struggling with right now.
Why can't I have financial security? Why do I have to struggle? The other day I was in the supermarket, in the meat aisle, debating between buying a package of pork chops for $6 or a huge package of chicken drumsticks for $3.50. I finally went with the drumsticks. I have never had to struggle with choosing food based on price. No matter how much I may have had to deprive myself of cable TV or a piece of clothing, I have never deprived myself of food or choosing the type of food I've wanted to eat. That was a sad moment for me.
It's interesting how this situation has gotten me thinking about the things we want most in life and how those things begin to define who you are -- not necessarily to yourself -- but to other people. (Because in some sense, you are never actually the person that you perceive yourself to be. In actuality you're a skewed version of that person you envision.)
So I started thinking about the thing that I want most in life and how that shapes who I am and how that thing defines other people's perception of me. Because no matter how clever we think we are at concealing our heart's desire, people see through that and into who we really are. And that is a vulnerable feeling. I don't know if I like that.
I think about my friends and the things that they want most in life. Greg just wants to serve the Lord through Bible studies and church and stuff. Andy's mom just wants to take care of her kids. Nicole just wants to be a mom. Joe just wants to make a lot of money and be successful in his career. Kandi just wants to be a wife and a mom. April just wants to love the Lord. Andy just wants to be creative, and to create things.
What are the things that define me, for better or for worse? How do people perceive me? I want to be well-to-do? I want to buy designer clothes? I want to eat well? In actuality I want to be perceived as someone who loves my friends, who is devoted to God's word and the church. But until my heart is that, I will not be perceived that way. Your true self always comes through, for better or for worse.