A much needed posting...
So this is a much needed post.
I guess it all really came about because two of my esteemed colleges told me I should. So I decided to take their good advice ;)
So what have I been doing with myself this summer?
For the most part I've just been spending a TON (again, TON) of time with Alex(PJ). Everyday he calls me around noon, we talk for about an hour.
We decide to hang out at blah time, then I get ready, play the sims. I go over to his house/ he comes over to mine. We spend lots of time together, sometimes we see Neda and David sometimes we don't. We partake in some activity, either going out to dinner or watching a movie (For instance, tonight we went to dinner at the Lion's Tap and then went to his house to watch Secondhand Lions, double dose of Lion-age)
then he drives me home, I waste time on the computer until really late, I go to sleep and the process starts all over again the next day.
Until we reach the College visit days.
Then I either bust my ass and visit a million colleges in a day, or see only one.
Mostly their very tiring... I'm not exactly sure why... because I don't really do all that much except absorb information and follow around an idealistic student on a tour to all the great places in their college and all the assets that they have to add to my life. It's a tad dull and mostly very daunting, but important nonetheless.
It's sort of mindboggling to think that I'm going to college in one year.
I have only ONE YEAR left of a public school education.
Doesn't it drive you mad to think that High School will be over?
Everyone says college is the greatest time of your life, but what if you feel differently? What if you might think that High School could be the best time of your life?
What if you think that you're happy here?
But then you realize that High School sucks? Is it better to remain blissfully ignorant of your mistake rather than try to push onto something else?
Or should you go forward because everyone else wants you to? Continuing on because it's really the only thing that's been driving you since 9th grade?
or since you can remember?
If you could tell I don't really feel like growing up right now... It seems to me like college is just one roadstop in life where you have to sell everything that you've learned up to this point, and continue with your childhood gone, and nothing but the hope for the future keeping you tied down to yourself.
I can see why college kids jump off bridges, why some people just self destruct and break down, have babies and start rock bands instead of sell off their old selves in order for a new self that you're not sure if you want to pay $30,000 a semester for, a new self that is not your childhood idea. But that can't be all bad can it?
I don't know, mostly I'm daunted. Maybe, just maybe, I'll warm up to the idea. I'm excited and scared all at the same time, but then again change has never sat well with me. Especially something so large.
Basically that's what I've been doing with my summer... Pondering and spending the time I can with those I love. Like PJ. <3
But again, I've remained ignorant to everything else that's been going on. The two parties that I spent time at last weekend were good. They really did catch me up on everything around me. Like Aaron. I know I'm not supposed to talk about it, but he mentioned it here, so i'm going to mention it too. I'm concerned. More like very scared for him. I want him to have the same happiness as everyone else is entitled to. I've called him, left a message on his cell phone. But I bet they took it away from him. I've called his house too, but I can't help but think that when I ask his mom, which room he's in that I'll just be met with a dark silence. This has weighed on my mind for a few days now. I'm sure everyone else is concerned as well.
I've also spent time with Jesse and Liz and everyone at Jesse/Tali's party. It was nice to see everyone. I'd like to see more people, but can't help but feel like a random large gathering would be...erm, a tad random? I guess I need someone to call me? Eh. Like Neda and David. Where have they dissapeared off to? David's Cabin? For how long? I guess I'm looking for a little more contact than PJ. Although he's a nice contact :).
So, feeling up to doing well, something? Give me a ring! And I'll say "I DO!"
*hahahahhahaha* (LAME)
Ta~!
Usagi <3
I guess it all really came about because two of my esteemed colleges told me I should. So I decided to take their good advice ;)
So what have I been doing with myself this summer?
For the most part I've just been spending a TON (again, TON) of time with Alex(PJ). Everyday he calls me around noon, we talk for about an hour.
We decide to hang out at blah time, then I get ready, play the sims. I go over to his house/ he comes over to mine. We spend lots of time together, sometimes we see Neda and David sometimes we don't. We partake in some activity, either going out to dinner or watching a movie (For instance, tonight we went to dinner at the Lion's Tap and then went to his house to watch Secondhand Lions, double dose of Lion-age)
then he drives me home, I waste time on the computer until really late, I go to sleep and the process starts all over again the next day.
Until we reach the College visit days.
Then I either bust my ass and visit a million colleges in a day, or see only one.
Mostly their very tiring... I'm not exactly sure why... because I don't really do all that much except absorb information and follow around an idealistic student on a tour to all the great places in their college and all the assets that they have to add to my life. It's a tad dull and mostly very daunting, but important nonetheless.
It's sort of mindboggling to think that I'm going to college in one year.
I have only ONE YEAR left of a public school education.
Doesn't it drive you mad to think that High School will be over?
Everyone says college is the greatest time of your life, but what if you feel differently? What if you might think that High School could be the best time of your life?
What if you think that you're happy here?
But then you realize that High School sucks? Is it better to remain blissfully ignorant of your mistake rather than try to push onto something else?
Or should you go forward because everyone else wants you to? Continuing on because it's really the only thing that's been driving you since 9th grade?
or since you can remember?
If you could tell I don't really feel like growing up right now... It seems to me like college is just one roadstop in life where you have to sell everything that you've learned up to this point, and continue with your childhood gone, and nothing but the hope for the future keeping you tied down to yourself.
I can see why college kids jump off bridges, why some people just self destruct and break down, have babies and start rock bands instead of sell off their old selves in order for a new self that you're not sure if you want to pay $30,000 a semester for, a new self that is not your childhood idea. But that can't be all bad can it?
I don't know, mostly I'm daunted. Maybe, just maybe, I'll warm up to the idea. I'm excited and scared all at the same time, but then again change has never sat well with me. Especially something so large.
Basically that's what I've been doing with my summer... Pondering and spending the time I can with those I love. Like PJ. <3
But again, I've remained ignorant to everything else that's been going on. The two parties that I spent time at last weekend were good. They really did catch me up on everything around me. Like Aaron. I know I'm not supposed to talk about it, but he mentioned it here, so i'm going to mention it too. I'm concerned. More like very scared for him. I want him to have the same happiness as everyone else is entitled to. I've called him, left a message on his cell phone. But I bet they took it away from him. I've called his house too, but I can't help but think that when I ask his mom, which room he's in that I'll just be met with a dark silence. This has weighed on my mind for a few days now. I'm sure everyone else is concerned as well.
I've also spent time with Jesse and Liz and everyone at Jesse/Tali's party. It was nice to see everyone. I'd like to see more people, but can't help but feel like a random large gathering would be...erm, a tad random? I guess I need someone to call me? Eh. Like Neda and David. Where have they dissapeared off to? David's Cabin? For how long? I guess I'm looking for a little more contact than PJ. Although he's a nice contact :).
So, feeling up to doing well, something? Give me a ring! And I'll say "I DO!"
*hahahahhahaha* (LAME)
Ta~!
Usagi <3