(no subject)

[princesstanya]

As taken from Trans-health.com...

How to Respect a Transsexual Person

This page is about transsexual people, i.e. people born with a brain that is
normal for one gender, and chromosomes and an external body that seemed normal
for the opposite sex. The
term gender, when used below, always means the gender the person identifies
as.

Basic Stuff

• Accept me as a full-fledged member of the gender I identify as.
  
• Always use the language that corresponds to my gender identity, e.g. he,
  she, even if my body does not seem to match yet and even when talking about my
  past.
  
• If you are still adjusting, it's normal to make mistakes. Don't draw
  attention to it by saying "sorry". Just correct yourself right after and carry
  on.
  
• If I identify as male, never use female-marked words like girl, waitress,
  breasts, vagina, etc. to describe anything about me, and vice versa. Always use
  language that corresponds to my gender. For example, if I am a female-to-male
  transsexual person, I am always a guy and never a girl. Don't call me
  "female-bodied", unless I use that term myself.
  
• A transsexual girl is male-to-female. A transsexual guy is female-to-male.
  Never the other way around.
  
• Gender identity has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Whether I am
  attracted to men, women, both or neither is a totally separate thing from
  whether I am male or female. For example, if I am a trans girl who likes girls,
  treat me no differently than any other lesbian woman.
  
• Don't expect me to conform to the stereotypes of my gender. I'll wear
  whatever clothes I like and have whatever interests I have. Being masculine or
  feminine (i.e. having mannerisms or interests that are seen by society as
  stereotypical of one gender) has nothing to do with being male or female (i.e.
  identifying as a certain gender). Butch trans women and feminine trans guys
  exist, just like they do among non-transsexual people.
  
• For almost all trans people, being transsexual is not a choice or a
  decision. It is a simple reality. The only "decision" is whether to accept my
  situation and fix it to live a healthier life, or deny it and suffer.
  
• Never mention my old name or ever ask what it was. Instead of saying "back
  when you were Fred", say "before you came out as female".
  
• Don't use my name in the 3rd person as if I was a person separate from
  myself, e.g. "are you dressing as Lisa now?"
  
• I am a person, a guy or a girl, a man or a woman, foremost. If you must use
  the word transsexual (or trans), it's better to use it as an adjective to
  describe a person, not as a noun onto itself, e.g. trans people, trans folks,
  trans guy.
  
• When it comes down to it, the matter is very simple: I am a guy or a girl.
  That's all!

Transition

• Use the word "transition" to describe what I am going through or went
  though.
  
• The changes I make to my body are not purely cosmetic, but rather
  reconstructive. Having a body I am comfortable with is vital to my health and in
  my social and physical interactions with other people.
  
• Don't openly talk about my genitals any more than you would for a non-trans
  person, unless I bring up the topic myself.
  
• Don't immediately assume that genital sexual reassignment surgery (SRS) is
  my priority. Every transsexual person is unique and chooses different steps
  during their transition, based on many factors. Not everyone wants SRS.
  

Social Situations

• Being transsexual is a very personal matter. Treat it with respect.
  
• I'm not here to shock anyone or get attention. I am not selfish. I'm just a
  person like anyone else, and I have a right to be healthy and live in my honest
  gender.
  
• If I blend well (i.e. I pass) or if I am online, then don't tell anyone I am
  transsexual unless they are too. Just talk about me like any other normal guy or
  girl, according to my gender identity.
  
• If I am visibly gender variant (i.e. I don't pass) and am out as
  transsexual, it's OK to educate your friends, e.g. about pronouns, before
  meeting me in person.
  
• Don't introduce me as your "transsexual" friend. Don't ask me to explain my
  life story or my gender situation to people I just met.
  
• Ask permission before taking a photo of me or before displaying old,
  pre-transition pictures of me.
  
• Don't call me whenever a documentary about transsexuals is on TV just
  because I am transsexual. I already know what being transsexual is about! But do
  it if I am genuinely interested in the subject.

The Nature of Gender

• Gender comes from the way our brain, mind and/or soul is configured, not
  from the body. Chromosomes, hormones, upbringing, etc. do not determine or
  change a person's gender.
  
• The only person who can know about their gender is themself. No external
  "clues" can prove or disprove somebody's true inner gender. Some people knew it
  their entire lives. Some manage to deny it for a long time. Some always knew
  there was something different. Some did a lot of soul searching to figure out
  they were male or female and that this was a legitimate medical situation.
  
• Don't call a non-transsexual woman a "real girl" or "completely female".
  

Terminology

• This page only deals with transsexual people specifically.
  
• Do not confuse transsexuality with cross-dressing. Cross-dressers are men
  who like to wear women's clothing for sexual or fetishized reasons. These men do
  not identify as female and are often straight.
  
• Do not confuse transsexual people with drag queens or kings. Drag performers
  will wear elaborate and often stereotypical clothes of the opposite gender on
  stage for show or to do impersonations. This is most often done by gays and
  lesbians.
  
• The term "transgendered" is an umbrella term that includes any and all
  gender variant people: transsexual people, cross-dressers, drag kings and
  queens, intersex, genderqueer and bigendered people, and many other types. Be
  careful when using it. For example, many transsexual people don't like to be
  associated with cross-dressers.
  
• The short form "trans" can mean either transsexual or transgendered. On this
  page, we use it to mean transsexual.
  
• The term "tranny" is slang for transsexual, either as an adjective or noun.
  Many feel that it is offensive, on par with words like fag, dyke and nigger. As
  such, many feel that only trans people themselves can reclaim it and use it. In
  some cities, however, it only means cross-dresser and not transsexual. Use it
  with much caution, if at all.
  
• The term "she-male" is vulgar and never appropriate. It is used by the
  pornography industry to objectify and fetishize pre-operative transsexual women.
  
  
• Don't call it cross-dressing if I am wearing clothes that match my gender.
  Cross-dressing is if I wear clothes of the opposite gender, e.g. a
  female-to-male transsexual man wearing women's clothing.
  
• If I am a transsexual guy getting top surgery, then I am not "getting my
  breasts removed", I am getting a chest reconstruction.

If I Just Came Out

• If I have just come out as my new gender, you should use my new name and
  pronouns with me and with all (and only those) who know about me, even (and
  especially!) with people who are still struggling to adjust to my correct
  gender. Be casual about it. Don't make a big deal about it.
  
• If I haven't told everyone yet that I am trans, then don't tell anyone.