Jan 31, 2006 03:21
Hey...
It's about 3:30am and I cant sleep. I have way to much on my mind... tonight I felt like someone just like sucker punched me in the stomach. I know my life is going to change in the next couple of weeks. I guess I kinda realized that I havent been as appreciative of my life I have now as I should have been all along. I guess I have always been the type of person that, when I have a problem, Ihate talking about it, but I am always thinking about it, until I eventually break down.
So here it goes... tonight I got home from school and my mom asked me to sit down because she had to have a talk with me... so ya know I sit down and she hits me with it... My dad went to the doctor and it turns out he has an anurism in his heart and it is very serious... he has to have open heart surgury next week and the doctor gave him a 50/50 chance of living or dying.
I have NEVER thought about losing one of my parents and I really dont know what I would do. All I can think about is... what if's... It's like last night I was thinking to myself..."god, things are exactly how I want them to be and completely perfect..." Now, I feel like I have so much stress I want to like explode. I dont want people to feel sorry about the situation or try and hug me, telling me everything is going to be alright... because then I will break down and cry. After I got the news from my mom, the only thing I wanted to do is go over to Luke's and just be around him because he makes me happy. I guess all I can do right now is suck it up and continue living, ya know?