OMG, I am so tired!!
I just had a two hour drunk nap. The type of nap where you are drunk but not drunk enough to sleep or to throw up. The only reason I did fall asleep is cause I was absolutely exhausted. I was hanging out drinking wiht thomas last nite and we got into it cause I got a little emotional and was missing my friends like meagan. He thought it was so horrible for me to cry cause I miss Meagan and not over all the things that I have done to him. So of course, feeling attacked I lashed out saying he didn't have a damn clue concerning what the hell the upset me. Even more fighting ensues and I begin to basically cry hysterically. I guess I really freaked him out cause he decided I wasn't worth dealing with and actually took my phone and called Isaiah to pick me up. Embarrassed, angry, hurt, and feeling basically worthless I leave with Isaiah and spend like 3 hours sobbing in his car because I can't understand how thomas could do this to me. All Isaiah could do was hold me and silently tell me "I told you so." This time I could not disagree or even defend thomas even to myself. He claims to want my friendship...friends don't run out on you when things get a little too tough to handle. I've said it before and I said it last nite and Isaiah even said without me having to tell him, Thomas isn't able to handle me...Isaiah says he just isn't built to handle me properly and I think thats the best way to explain it. Anyways, I fell asleep shortly after Isaiah dropped me off but now I randomly woke up. I have the worst headache ever and I still so tired so I guess I should try to go back to sleep. Pray for me. Pray that this deep hurt fades away quickly and that I make better decisions.