sometimes we just have to keep pressing forward......no matter what happens
I went back to Keene this past weekend. It was strange. Surreal. Wonderful. Different and yet still very much the same.
I can't even begin to describe the way I felt about a place that became home to me, and still remains one place I can go to and feel immediate happiness. In some ways I felt like I had never left. In others it felt like it had been forever.
And yet I left there horribly sad, not wanting to go. Because to tell you the truth that's where I'm my happiest. And it hurts so badly to be here without everyone from the last few years at my side.
To come back on Sunday was hard enough. To hear what I did on Monday was literally like being hit in the stomach with a ton of bricks. For the most part I haven't slept in three days, and I feel just complete lost. It hurts. I, we, thought this was all over and to have this happen so unexpectedly was the last thing on my mind. Then again I suppose once cancer happens it's never really over. You don't go back to the life that you led before it one hundred percent. Ever. Things will be different. There will forever be a looming cloud and suddenly that cloud exploded and I feel empty. And for the first time in a while I feel truly alone in the situation and that might possibly be the worst.
Things are never going to be the same. I've said that from day one. Unfortunately I got one of the most shocking reminders of that this week.
I'm done talking about this here. You know how to reach me.
I can't even begin to describe the way I felt about a place that became home to me, and still remains one place I can go to and feel immediate happiness. In some ways I felt like I had never left. In others it felt like it had been forever.
And yet I left there horribly sad, not wanting to go. Because to tell you the truth that's where I'm my happiest. And it hurts so badly to be here without everyone from the last few years at my side.
To come back on Sunday was hard enough. To hear what I did on Monday was literally like being hit in the stomach with a ton of bricks. For the most part I haven't slept in three days, and I feel just complete lost. It hurts. I, we, thought this was all over and to have this happen so unexpectedly was the last thing on my mind. Then again I suppose once cancer happens it's never really over. You don't go back to the life that you led before it one hundred percent. Ever. Things will be different. There will forever be a looming cloud and suddenly that cloud exploded and I feel empty. And for the first time in a while I feel truly alone in the situation and that might possibly be the worst.
Things are never going to be the same. I've said that from day one. Unfortunately I got one of the most shocking reminders of that this week.
I'm done talking about this here. You know how to reach me.