dear nathan,
i feel asleep playing dr mario again. cant make a habit of this. i wake up after a few hours, feeling so stiff and achy.
yesterday had to be an overall good day. everything was good. i felt better, but still not good. your pushing away and pulling closer has me feeling lost.
had a good morning with bowz. then time with you. which was enjoyed by all. i didnt end up going skating. i had planned to go hunting for something at stores. i only made it to one. and didnt find what i was looking for there. i picked up my sewing machine and my sewing machine guy showed me some stuff on it. it really is beautiful. i cant wait to see what i turn out. unfortunetly, when i got home my grampa was here, almost like he was driving up and down the street, waiting for me. thought he was coming to flip out about me putting stuff to the curb, but he said he was glad i did it, that he forgot about it. i dont know why he smelled so bad. he wouldnt just leave.
sometime while i was sleeping on the couch, bowser decided it would be a good idea to piss on the mat in the bathroom. what am i going to do with him?
im having a real difficult time with my chest. losing weight has left them a lot less nice than they have been. i feel like i have a hard time finding dresses they look good in. the skin doesnt look full, it looks all loose, like ive bared children and im fifteen years older. i dont want to think about how theyll look if i lose more weight.
i miss feeling closeness with you.
love you, manda