"If you can keep your head when all about you"
"Are losing theirs and blaming it on you"
Insomnia came back again. This is the second time its been bad since I got here.
Remember how I said that... with all the bad things I was thinking about Erie, when I actually got here. It wouldn't seem that bad?
It's worse.
I know this place isn't for me. And I guess the Fates think it too. Whatever could potentially keep me here, well... has been avoided. The people suck. That was a given. I joined the swim team. To stay in shape for polo, meet some people, and just be a part of a team... I stay strong for a month. I'm there strongest sprinter, everythings fine. The first meet we have... My first event is a 50 free. Easy. The race is fine. I'm winning the whole way... 27 seconds later I touch the wall, thinking I just touched out the girl next to me. And in doing so... jam my arm. At first.. it hurt a little, but when I realize I couldn't even move it... the mental pain kicked in. I couldn't even finish the race. Some random girl had to help me get dressed. Hours later in the emergency room, the doc says I'll be out for 5 weeks. I say fuck him. I'm in the water the next day, and using my arm by week 2. No matter how much I show them I can use it... They need an MRI for proof that I'm ok. Whatever. Long story short... I'm off the team. It toook too long. Fine. Water polo season started the day we got back from winter break. Get ready, get on the pool deck. I'm not swimming, I'm not playing. I'm not eligible. Great. A teacher who told me that I had a B, instead gave me a DF, deferred grade. Now I gotta beg and plead to change that damn grade.
No swimming.
No polo.
Fuckin' A.
Well great.
Now I can't sleep. I'm alone in my room.
My roommate is god knows where.
And I have to be in class in 5 hours. Fine. Some people can do that.
"If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:"
There really is not much to say.
It's really depressing in Erie. I don't like it much.
Anthony has really been helping me out though.
I love him..
If there was anything keeping me here, I'd be him.
And right now, that's all I need.
Insomnia came back again. This is the second time its been bad since I got here.
Remember how I said that... with all the bad things I was thinking about Erie, when I actually got here. It wouldn't seem that bad?
It's worse.
I know this place isn't for me. And I guess the Fates think it too. Whatever could potentially keep me here, well... has been avoided. The people suck. That was a given. I joined the swim team. To stay in shape for polo, meet some people, and just be a part of a team... I stay strong for a month. I'm there strongest sprinter, everythings fine. The first meet we have... My first event is a 50 free. Easy. The race is fine. I'm winning the whole way... 27 seconds later I touch the wall, thinking I just touched out the girl next to me. And in doing so... jam my arm. At first.. it hurt a little, but when I realize I couldn't even move it... the mental pain kicked in. I couldn't even finish the race. Some random girl had to help me get dressed. Hours later in the emergency room, the doc says I'll be out for 5 weeks. I say fuck him. I'm in the water the next day, and using my arm by week 2. No matter how much I show them I can use it... They need an MRI for proof that I'm ok. Whatever. Long story short... I'm off the team. It toook too long. Fine. Water polo season started the day we got back from winter break. Get ready, get on the pool deck. I'm not swimming, I'm not playing. I'm not eligible. Great. A teacher who told me that I had a B, instead gave me a DF, deferred grade. Now I gotta beg and plead to change that damn grade.
No swimming.
No polo.
Fuckin' A.
Well great.
Now I can't sleep. I'm alone in my room.
My roommate is god knows where.
And I have to be in class in 5 hours. Fine. Some people can do that.
"If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:"
There really is not much to say.
It's really depressing in Erie. I don't like it much.
Anthony has really been helping me out though.
I love him..
If there was anything keeping me here, I'd be him.
And right now, that's all I need.