even the radio is dead tonight
You know what sucks? Having one of your best friend ripped apart from you almost violently.
Since this happened, we haven't been able to talk well. I try my hardest but nothing happens. It's like running into a brick wall as fast as I can and getting bruised one hit after another. Once in awhile a peice will muster itself off, only to be replaced by the regeneration of cement.
It's not that I miss him like I should, I miss him. His personality, his caring and most of all just the way he is. I don't want to kiss him or be loved by him (in more than a caring way) I just want him back. Back to the way things were before we went out. When I was sure he would always be there for me and I would always be there for him.
I know I'll always be there for him but it's so hard to say the opposite. I want to talk to him so badly, but it's like we can't even connect. I miss him, and he tells me he misses me. He wants to see me and I want to see him, though we can't even talk.
I can sit here for days, in the low hum of my computer and clicks of my keyboard and write about how much I want his friendship back; but it would be useless. He knows, and doesn't seem to care. I told him I care about him and he said "yeah". That was a slap in the face, maybe I need more of those.
Reality checks, to tell me that he and I will never be friends again. Perhaps rejection has tainted everything that we ever had. I'm fighting it so hard, and he doesn't even seem to care.
Maybe this is just another chapter to go over, but thats not what I want. I believe that if you really want something to happen you can make it happen, this is getting long and hopeless.
All I can say is that it really sucks to have someone you love so much (now as a friend, as I believe you can love friends) be ripped apart from you. The ripping wouldn't be so bad if the other half cared.
Deal with it Chelsea.
Since this happened, we haven't been able to talk well. I try my hardest but nothing happens. It's like running into a brick wall as fast as I can and getting bruised one hit after another. Once in awhile a peice will muster itself off, only to be replaced by the regeneration of cement.
It's not that I miss him like I should, I miss him. His personality, his caring and most of all just the way he is. I don't want to kiss him or be loved by him (in more than a caring way) I just want him back. Back to the way things were before we went out. When I was sure he would always be there for me and I would always be there for him.
I know I'll always be there for him but it's so hard to say the opposite. I want to talk to him so badly, but it's like we can't even connect. I miss him, and he tells me he misses me. He wants to see me and I want to see him, though we can't even talk.
I can sit here for days, in the low hum of my computer and clicks of my keyboard and write about how much I want his friendship back; but it would be useless. He knows, and doesn't seem to care. I told him I care about him and he said "yeah". That was a slap in the face, maybe I need more of those.
Reality checks, to tell me that he and I will never be friends again. Perhaps rejection has tainted everything that we ever had. I'm fighting it so hard, and he doesn't even seem to care.
Maybe this is just another chapter to go over, but thats not what I want. I believe that if you really want something to happen you can make it happen, this is getting long and hopeless.
All I can say is that it really sucks to have someone you love so much (now as a friend, as I believe you can love friends) be ripped apart from you. The ripping wouldn't be so bad if the other half cared.
Deal with it Chelsea.