I feel so alone...
I decided to get this journal up and running again..since my other one on deadjournal..i dunno..I dont say what i really want to cause everyone reads it...
and right now I feel so alone...I guess the feeling started coming back after I spent about 2 hours with this guy Dan...who i met on line...and decided to meet him at 2 in the morning....it was the biggest risk i've ever taken, cause I didn't know what he looked like or anything...as I was getting ready..I felt fear...so I grabed my pocket knife which I don't carry around with me much anymore...but I should again...but he had me call him before we met...and the sound of his voice made me feel calm...he sounded cool...and he totally was...
we ended up driving around for awhile in cirles. i showed him around lima...I swear we hit every road...it was fun....we both asked each other questions.....and ...I realized in the car....that I'm so alone in the world..and this is the first guy to ever understand me...I know nothing will come from this night....He's 22 and I'm only 16...I sure as hell didn't feel 16 talking to him...even though i used humor with my age...But yet I hope to see more of him.... =)
hmm...Got my report card yesterday.....it was sitting on the computer desk when my dad saw it...and the only thing I heard come from his voice was US History...and that was the glass I got my lowest grade in....I started crying on the couch...but no one noticed cause I put the pillow over my face...after all the shit he put me threw last year for having "low grades" and they were all in the 80's expect the history which was a 74...all he could have said was "good job" or something...but no...thats to fucking hard for him....and i'm just his shitty daughter
my radio grade i'm happy with..got a 86 ..woot...i mean...I got a 94 on the mid term..my highest grade ever on a important test...but i really enjoy radio...love most of the people....like..andy and Jaque and the other guys....I love what Ms. Ferland wrote on my report card "laura is truly a pleasure to have in class. She is highly organized! Laura does well with all assigments, including hands on projects, journals and quizzes. I am proud of Laura and her accomplishments and I am looking forward to her continued success throughout the second quarter."
Love how she put highly organized it made me smile...oh and my asshole dad asked about the class...i wanted to scream "FUCK YOU!?!?!?" but I just told him about a project that we did....it made me so mad....
but yeah, my lows are coming back...and I'm starting to do less work which is bad...
Yet I'm still going to try my hardest.
Also if my dad pulls any shit he did last year with my grades, I'm running away.
and right now I feel so alone...I guess the feeling started coming back after I spent about 2 hours with this guy Dan...who i met on line...and decided to meet him at 2 in the morning....it was the biggest risk i've ever taken, cause I didn't know what he looked like or anything...as I was getting ready..I felt fear...so I grabed my pocket knife which I don't carry around with me much anymore...but I should again...but he had me call him before we met...and the sound of his voice made me feel calm...he sounded cool...and he totally was...
we ended up driving around for awhile in cirles. i showed him around lima...I swear we hit every road...it was fun....we both asked each other questions.....and ...I realized in the car....that I'm so alone in the world..and this is the first guy to ever understand me...I know nothing will come from this night....He's 22 and I'm only 16...I sure as hell didn't feel 16 talking to him...even though i used humor with my age...But yet I hope to see more of him.... =)
hmm...Got my report card yesterday.....it was sitting on the computer desk when my dad saw it...and the only thing I heard come from his voice was US History...and that was the glass I got my lowest grade in....I started crying on the couch...but no one noticed cause I put the pillow over my face...after all the shit he put me threw last year for having "low grades" and they were all in the 80's expect the history which was a 74...all he could have said was "good job" or something...but no...thats to fucking hard for him....and i'm just his shitty daughter
my radio grade i'm happy with..got a 86 ..woot...i mean...I got a 94 on the mid term..my highest grade ever on a important test...but i really enjoy radio...love most of the people....like..andy and Jaque and the other guys....I love what Ms. Ferland wrote on my report card "laura is truly a pleasure to have in class. She is highly organized! Laura does well with all assigments, including hands on projects, journals and quizzes. I am proud of Laura and her accomplishments and I am looking forward to her continued success throughout the second quarter."
Love how she put highly organized it made me smile...oh and my asshole dad asked about the class...i wanted to scream "FUCK YOU!?!?!?" but I just told him about a project that we did....it made me so mad....
but yeah, my lows are coming back...and I'm starting to do less work which is bad...
Yet I'm still going to try my hardest.
Also if my dad pulls any shit he did last year with my grades, I'm running away.