Talked with my mom.
so I basicly spilled my guts out to my mother tonight. I know she was tired and didn't want to hear it but I needed to get it out to someone and just not write it on livejournal like I'm about too.
I told her that I don't think I'm in love with Glenn. I told her about him telling me to loose weight and how he doesn't like my stomach. I really wanted to tell her I didn't feel comfy having sex with him anymore, but I didn't want to freak her out.
but tonight really killed me. after we had thanksgiving dinner at my aunts house, we went over to his house. He kept leaving me all alone with most of his mom's side of the family. I kept trying to tell him not to leave me alone but he just kept moving around and I would loose him and feel so out of place. I really just wanted to cry. I kept hiding in his bedroom because I felt like I was stared at cause I think they all think I'm a freak. His one aunt saw my rose on my foot and just started talking to me about it like i was crazy. I didnt want to be myself so I got a bunch of energy drinks and drank them all night long, sure I got sick, but It made me more open. The one thing that scared me the most is when I was upstairs on the computer Glenn, his dad, 2 of his uncles and 1 of his aunts were talking and they brought up babies and I guess got really serious and was just going to tell them that he thought that greta would never had kids, but his dad took it as he was going to tell them I was pregnant. He told me the whole story, I kind of freaked out.
Another thing is I know I used to joke about marrying him, but I think he took it a little too serious, I don't wanna get married until I'm past the age 22. I want at least a year to party legally. Damnit.
but also when I was talking to my mom, I told her how steve was back around, and she said she kinda figured and she knows how much I like him, but she was like he never took you out on any dates, and I was like we never had a chance because he would get scared and run away.
I just need time to myself. I need time to get undepressed. I want to start going to curves, I want to do things to make myself feel better. not anyone else.
I think Glenn also needs time to himself. I really want him to work on the dart and I think I'm holding him back, he got really excited last night talking about. I'm tired of hearing him talk about it, I want him to do something with it.
I need to get some sleep before I go out with Meg so she can help me....Happy Black Friday...
I told her that I don't think I'm in love with Glenn. I told her about him telling me to loose weight and how he doesn't like my stomach. I really wanted to tell her I didn't feel comfy having sex with him anymore, but I didn't want to freak her out.
but tonight really killed me. after we had thanksgiving dinner at my aunts house, we went over to his house. He kept leaving me all alone with most of his mom's side of the family. I kept trying to tell him not to leave me alone but he just kept moving around and I would loose him and feel so out of place. I really just wanted to cry. I kept hiding in his bedroom because I felt like I was stared at cause I think they all think I'm a freak. His one aunt saw my rose on my foot and just started talking to me about it like i was crazy. I didnt want to be myself so I got a bunch of energy drinks and drank them all night long, sure I got sick, but It made me more open. The one thing that scared me the most is when I was upstairs on the computer Glenn, his dad, 2 of his uncles and 1 of his aunts were talking and they brought up babies and I guess got really serious and was just going to tell them that he thought that greta would never had kids, but his dad took it as he was going to tell them I was pregnant. He told me the whole story, I kind of freaked out.
Another thing is I know I used to joke about marrying him, but I think he took it a little too serious, I don't wanna get married until I'm past the age 22. I want at least a year to party legally. Damnit.
but also when I was talking to my mom, I told her how steve was back around, and she said she kinda figured and she knows how much I like him, but she was like he never took you out on any dates, and I was like we never had a chance because he would get scared and run away.
I just need time to myself. I need time to get undepressed. I want to start going to curves, I want to do things to make myself feel better. not anyone else.
I think Glenn also needs time to himself. I really want him to work on the dart and I think I'm holding him back, he got really excited last night talking about. I'm tired of hearing him talk about it, I want him to do something with it.
I need to get some sleep before I go out with Meg so she can help me....Happy Black Friday...