Can't sleep.
so it's 5:30 in the morning and I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about Steve. I can't stop thinking about how horrible I am because when I'm with glenn now all I can think about is when the next time I'm going to talk to steve...
I don't feel like I can be myself around Glenn anymore.
First off, I hate how he's always asking if he looks cute, or looks good. and always whines that I don't take that many pictures of him or us together.
I hate that he doesn't even notice when I get all pretty for him. It's always him him him.
and I hate that he got me a pendent for our one year and we got a chain for it and it's all he can look at, or talk about.
I wish he never told me he didn't like my stomach. He told me to loose weight.
when really I was trying to make myself happy by trying to go to curves again but my father stopped that real quick by not fixing my car. but hopefully tomorrow errr later today he's going to work on it.
I don't feel attractive to Glenn anymore. I'm tired of only being cute or adorable. I'm tired of him pulling my shirt down if my stomach is just showing alittle bit. Like I can't have sex with him anymore without feeling like he's looking at me funny.
I'm also tired of feeling like a pig when I'm around his family.
I fucking hate his family. I hate hanging out with his sister because all she talks about is video games and other crap, and when glenn lives me alone in the room with her, I just want to tell her to shut up. Even when I try to talk about something I know about, she treats me like I don't really know about anything at all. Like when we were helping her fucking move into her new place with mike. They both treated me like I've never helped anyone move before. I like I couldn't carry 3 boxes by myself. I really just wanted to scream and say I can handle it, If i can take down a full file cabnet from a teacher's room upstairs, about i think 15-16 stairs, I think I can handle stupid boxes.
His mother even looks down on me. She thinks because I'm not in college I don't know anything. Like how to do cute crafts. and I hated that she was trying to find me jobs over last winter. or she'll sit there and talk to glenn and glenn won't be listening and she'll just repeat everything over so I'll answer her and she'll ignore me
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
We don't say I love you, because truely for me, I don't think I love him. I know the honeymoon is over and I don't think I can take much more.
but I wouldn't know how to go on to tell him that I don't love him anymore. I hate being his first for everything. and I mean everything.
It's now 6:01 and I've been up for 19 hours. In 6-7 hours I have to go out to dinner with Glenn and his family for his grandma's birthday...
I'm so tired of seeing his family, that I miss my family. His mother freaked out because I said we were having thanksgiving at my aunts house and he's invited. His mother just says " but we're have the whole family over" meaning everyone on her side of the family.
I just wanna rip my hair out.
I think I'm just going to curl up and sleep my life away...
I don't feel like I can be myself around Glenn anymore.
First off, I hate how he's always asking if he looks cute, or looks good. and always whines that I don't take that many pictures of him or us together.
I hate that he doesn't even notice when I get all pretty for him. It's always him him him.
and I hate that he got me a pendent for our one year and we got a chain for it and it's all he can look at, or talk about.
I wish he never told me he didn't like my stomach. He told me to loose weight.
when really I was trying to make myself happy by trying to go to curves again but my father stopped that real quick by not fixing my car. but hopefully tomorrow errr later today he's going to work on it.
I don't feel attractive to Glenn anymore. I'm tired of only being cute or adorable. I'm tired of him pulling my shirt down if my stomach is just showing alittle bit. Like I can't have sex with him anymore without feeling like he's looking at me funny.
I'm also tired of feeling like a pig when I'm around his family.
I fucking hate his family. I hate hanging out with his sister because all she talks about is video games and other crap, and when glenn lives me alone in the room with her, I just want to tell her to shut up. Even when I try to talk about something I know about, she treats me like I don't really know about anything at all. Like when we were helping her fucking move into her new place with mike. They both treated me like I've never helped anyone move before. I like I couldn't carry 3 boxes by myself. I really just wanted to scream and say I can handle it, If i can take down a full file cabnet from a teacher's room upstairs, about i think 15-16 stairs, I think I can handle stupid boxes.
His mother even looks down on me. She thinks because I'm not in college I don't know anything. Like how to do cute crafts. and I hated that she was trying to find me jobs over last winter. or she'll sit there and talk to glenn and glenn won't be listening and she'll just repeat everything over so I'll answer her and she'll ignore me
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
We don't say I love you, because truely for me, I don't think I love him. I know the honeymoon is over and I don't think I can take much more.
but I wouldn't know how to go on to tell him that I don't love him anymore. I hate being his first for everything. and I mean everything.
It's now 6:01 and I've been up for 19 hours. In 6-7 hours I have to go out to dinner with Glenn and his family for his grandma's birthday...
I'm so tired of seeing his family, that I miss my family. His mother freaked out because I said we were having thanksgiving at my aunts house and he's invited. His mother just says " but we're have the whole family over" meaning everyone on her side of the family.
I just wanna rip my hair out.
I think I'm just going to curl up and sleep my life away...