Disappointed...
So it's official, there is no point in me ever having faith in anyone. Anytime I start to believe that someone might actually be nice and sweet and someone I want in my life (either as a friend or more) they do something to completely disappoint me. Maybe I set my standards too high for people. Maybe its time to just stop expecting anything from anyone, that way I can't get hurt or disappointed. I'm tired of crying over people who could care less about me, who don't even give me a second thought or seem to care about hurting me. I'm just really getting tired of people saying that they will always be there for me and that they will never hurt me and then in the next breath they are telling me that things won't work out, that we are too far apart and too busy. That's complete bullshit. If you want to be with someone then you make things work whether you are 5 minutes away or 5 hours. All my life I've been easily disposed of. It's like I'm just a piece of paper that means nothing to anyone, so it makes it easy to use me and then throw me away when they are done. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of never being good enough, of never saying or doing the right things, of giving so much of myself and getting nothing in return, of caring about people who don't care about me, of always being willing to give people second, third, fourth, ect. chances and never receiving the same courtesy in return. Basically I'm just tired and that means I'm done trying. It's not like trying gets me anywhere anyway. It amazes me more and more everyday how easy it is for people to just throw me away like i don't matter. I think its time for me to just give up and realize I'm meant to live my life alone.