text message...3:46 am 3/10/06 from Josh
i hope this doesnt freak you out. but its 3am and im laying in bed and i cant stop thinking about u. what have you down to me? i miss you so much. i dont want u to think I'm going to stop talking to u, stop hanging out with you,l or stop talking to you because i quit my job. because thats not whats gonna happen. this week is just gonna be hectic bc of my moving that i have to do as well as my job change. i didnt use you to get something i wanted...i hope you know that. I REALLY LIKE YOU, kelly! i dont know what it is about you that makes me so attracted to you. it could be ur sexyness. it could be ur personality,. it could be the person u are. or better yet, its all of those things wrapped into one. Kelly you are someone special and i'm so glad i had the chance to meet you. just think 4-5 weeks i didnt know you like i do now. i would have still quit my job. and i coulda never known how awesome you were. things happen for a reason kelly. i cant wait to find out what our reason is. :) have a good nite and great day at work tmrw. i cant wait to see you again sweeite. MUAH!!
why do u send me this? and then all of a sudden be distant? i dont understand. yea you feel this way, yea ur busy, but how long does it take to call and say a simple hello? or txt a girl back when she says whats up? whatever. i think im expecting too much when i should be expecting nothing. hes not my bf!!!! what is wrong with me? Helloooooooooooooo u dont owe me anything, he doesnt owe me shit. he didnt have to txt me that. yea now i know how he feels, i certainly know how i feel. i feel that i cant get u out of my mind, i feel that i really wish i could get to know u better, but then...........i think im asking too much. i shouldnt even have let it get this far. what about him? him? well i have been thikning...i know i like him....but i feel i rushed things..bc of the holidays and that i was sooo lonely...you know? i still like him...i do...but just not utterly devoted...more of a lets just date and whatever. i never see him. it puts a strain on things. it sucks. and im so sick of the never seeing someone im dating thing..thats what always seems to happen. we only see each other lik what 2 times a week for like 3 hrs each? what is that? thats like a long distance thing...and we dont even live far!!!!! ugh ugh ugh. but would i be considering it if someone else wasnt in the pic? prob...bc i still find others attractive, i still want to be alone sometimes...i just wannt be with someone im sure of....but i dont want to be like well i have feelings for someone else. but I DO. and I DONT KNOW WHY!!!! im not just lusting or whatever. its deep feelings..butterflies, happiness, constantly thinking about the person. isnt that something? when u feel it????? actually feel the chemistry???? becasue i do and it freaks the fuck out of me. time can only tell right? i dont wanna force shit so im going to just start concentrating on other shit. whateva. let him come to me...bc it just seems he does this, txt me and we hung out friday and it was awesome and he says how great a time he had and then today poof!!! where did he go? off the face of the planet? i dont know. im just not going to txt him or call him. i cant be like pursuing him...fuck that shit. like hellooooooooo i have a bf right? ugh ugh ugh. why this? why now? why am i stressing over trival shit? there are so many other things in the world and around me and thats friends have to deal with and im stressing over trival shit. fuck it all i swear. why do i care so damn fucking much??????????? jillian i hope ur mommy is better do u want me to go to hospiytal with you? do u know what hospital she is at????? i want to send flowers.....
why do u send me this? and then all of a sudden be distant? i dont understand. yea you feel this way, yea ur busy, but how long does it take to call and say a simple hello? or txt a girl back when she says whats up? whatever. i think im expecting too much when i should be expecting nothing. hes not my bf!!!! what is wrong with me? Helloooooooooooooo u dont owe me anything, he doesnt owe me shit. he didnt have to txt me that. yea now i know how he feels, i certainly know how i feel. i feel that i cant get u out of my mind, i feel that i really wish i could get to know u better, but then...........i think im asking too much. i shouldnt even have let it get this far. what about him? him? well i have been thikning...i know i like him....but i feel i rushed things..bc of the holidays and that i was sooo lonely...you know? i still like him...i do...but just not utterly devoted...more of a lets just date and whatever. i never see him. it puts a strain on things. it sucks. and im so sick of the never seeing someone im dating thing..thats what always seems to happen. we only see each other lik what 2 times a week for like 3 hrs each? what is that? thats like a long distance thing...and we dont even live far!!!!! ugh ugh ugh. but would i be considering it if someone else wasnt in the pic? prob...bc i still find others attractive, i still want to be alone sometimes...i just wannt be with someone im sure of....but i dont want to be like well i have feelings for someone else. but I DO. and I DONT KNOW WHY!!!! im not just lusting or whatever. its deep feelings..butterflies, happiness, constantly thinking about the person. isnt that something? when u feel it????? actually feel the chemistry???? becasue i do and it freaks the fuck out of me. time can only tell right? i dont wanna force shit so im going to just start concentrating on other shit. whateva. let him come to me...bc it just seems he does this, txt me and we hung out friday and it was awesome and he says how great a time he had and then today poof!!! where did he go? off the face of the planet? i dont know. im just not going to txt him or call him. i cant be like pursuing him...fuck that shit. like hellooooooooo i have a bf right? ugh ugh ugh. why this? why now? why am i stressing over trival shit? there are so many other things in the world and around me and thats friends have to deal with and im stressing over trival shit. fuck it all i swear. why do i care so damn fucking much??????????? jillian i hope ur mommy is better do u want me to go to hospiytal with you? do u know what hospital she is at????? i want to send flowers.....