waiting.....where are you....i miss you
why am i constantly thinking about u? why do you have this power? i dont even know you that well. u might be a lie. and how do u know that u know someone well? and how come some people can just make u smile? just when u see them? they make all the stress and everything just go away? i hate men....i really do..they are not even men...they are boys and just a fucked up part of our lives...but why cant we live without them? its like no matter what u do or say you get lonely and a guy is what u want and not for sex and all that stuff but just for companionship..why does it seem like its so hard to be alone even when u know that might be the best thing for you? im naturally a person who likes to be alone i have always been shy but for some reason i always have to havea guy it seems. i hate being alone. and i hate hating to be alone. and i hate that im like this. and i hate when u really like someone and like you think about them all the time and yet you know u are being stupid about it. like r they thinking about u? and why do u think about it so much when u know its not right anyways? its like it was so great, so this so that and now poof!!! where did all the fun go? where did the texts for no reason or the calls just to say hi go to? why is it when u first go out with someone its all fine and u cant get enough of each other but as time goes on its like fuck this i dont care if i see you or not...why does it always happen to me? yea honeymoon phase my ass. i see people in there 50s or been together for 3 yrs and they are still head over heels in love and show it. im so envious of those realationships..like my bro has one of those im so in love with you relationships...u can tell that they really love eah other...when will i have one of those relationships? like jenny says im charlotte on sex an the city...always in pursuit of that happily ever after romance shit. i know its real and i nkow its out there but where? and when u think u find it why does it seem to just poof! be gone???? i just want to be so consumed with someone and like just cant get enough of each other head over heels in love. ugh ugh ugh. and why am i still thinking about ur dumb ass?? ugh ugh ugh...........u what the emaning of life is? i have figured it out. one word: love. true love.