[FIC] Soul Vengeance. LM/NM, DM, SS, BL/RL, V, DEs. PG-13. Warning.

[princessjessia]

TITLE: Soul Vengeance
AUTHOR: Jessi, princessjessia ( Disclaimer)
FANDOM: Harry Potter
CHARACTERS: Lucius/Narcissa, Severus, Draco, Bellatrix/Rodolphus, Voldemort, misc. Death Eaters
PROMPT: 030. Death. (fanfic100) 1. look over there (7spells)
SUMMARY: One of Lucius’ greatest fears. 1997.
RATING: PG-13
WORD COUNT: 2,252
WARNINGS: Death
NOTES: Written to keep me from having a

Comments

[peki]

I admire that it takes you less than a day to write a story of 2000+ words. I'm not often creative like that, unfortunately, and trying to write L/N has been slowing me down even more, for some reason *g*

Anyway. Happy Malfoy fic should be next, to balance out the angst, yes? :) It's nice, though, that she didn't *really* die - Makani's pic was heartbreaking. Catlin keeps telling me that Lucius might very well die in book 7, but I try to ignore that for now. *lalalalala*

I find it interesting that you'd describe Narcissa as 'the half of his soul that was good', in this, and it makes me want to see how you'd write her when she's still alive *g* I do agree that she likely hasn't committed as many evil deeds as Lucius probably has, and in that sense is 'better' than he - but she seems to embrace the dark part of him so unreservedly, and never wavers in her loyalty to him, even when he's in Azkaban, that I wonder how 'pure' she can really be. After all, she's no naive little thing, she's his partner, and I'm sure she has a dark side to her that matches his. Hmm, L/N, such a great ship :)

There are some evocative descriptions in this, especially in the part where he focusses on her dead body, and tries to recall what she was like in life. I'm all about 'show-don't-tell', in fic, and concrete description, so that struck me as very real, and sad. I can see, as a reader, that you have a very clear image in mind of what's going on, and I like what you're conveying to me :)
As for a tiny little suggestion, sometimes I feel a bit overwhelmed by all the ideas you pack into a sentence. I think they might have even more of an impact if you scattered them a bit more, let them each stand on its own, you know? Take your time, there's no rush - L/N are not going anywhere :)

[princessjessia]

YESSSS CONCRIT thank you! *headdesk* Welcome to the world of Jessi's ginormous sentences. This is what happens when I post before redoing most of them, so I'll likely edit them as I go back through it. Thank you for concrit. :)

As for the short time with the length, it does not happen all that much. Narcissa and Lucius fic often inspires me to do that when others cannot, but it takes motivation like that art to get the truly finished that quickly. I'm certain your L/N is going to be wonderful, because you write wonderfully.

Catlin best shush up or I'm going to swat her. *kidding* The Malfoys will not die and likely, JKR is going to forget to do anything for Lucius *prays* so we are free to break him out of Azkaban over and over again after the seventh book. XD

The 'pure' stuff is all Lucius and hardly any of me, in this case. Having written Narcissa so much in role play in so many ways (there's where my quickly writing enormous amounts goes) I know so many of her good and bad qualities, often better than I believe I know myself - even when she still surprises me. I know she would never describe her own soul as 'pure' by any standard (pure blood is an entirely different idea to her, though Lucius combines all of those aspects in his idea of her), so when he references such things out loud she equally denies it and feels an obligation to be that pure thing. She has recognized and chosen to embrace that which is dark in the both, something I'm not often sure Lucius truly has done with himself to te same degree. As my fanfic100 timeline develops, that idea of Narcissa and why Lucius thinks it (comparing what she is and does and thinks to what he is/does/thinks makes him set her high above him in the 'purity' standards) plus what she thinks, will all come out. */blathering*

I often think I miss the line between show and tell, mostly because I just write what is in my head and forget I know the technical skills of writing that I paid money to learn. ;) Therefore, I'm glad you think I didn't jump over that line with both feet, as the concept and I are not exactly the best of friends, LOL.

[peki]

Hee, this is why it's so much fun to write/read fanfic - I love seeing different people's characterisations, and the motivations they give to the characters.

I've never thought about L/N and their dynamic this way, I must say. Intriguing :) So what I gather from your description is that he sees himself as flawed, essentially, or at least more flawed than his wife? Interesting - I've always thought that a man so supremely arrogant in his perspective of the world around him wouldn't admit to his own faults (and mistakes).
Likewise, I've always thought of Narcissa's purity, and perfection, as *very* superficial. Not that I don't think she has 'good' qualities; she does. But she is much, much more than meets the eye, and I guess I've always thought that Lucius' recognising her true, complicated nature is the essence of their relationship. I may be influenced greatly by sionnain's fic, there *g*

Anyway, it's so great that all these different interpretations of them are valid, and that they can be blended, too :) After all, there are many shades to every character. I like your idea of Lucius' devotion, almost worship, to his wife, though he probably wouldn't show it in any conventionally romantic way *g* I'll be looking forward to reading more of your fanfic100 fics :)

Wow, I really am getting carried away with the length of this comment. Hope you don't mind. :)
Re: concrit - I don't necessarily think long sentences are a bad thing, I like using them myself *g* I just feel you convey so very many ideas, and images, that it may be hard, at times, to fit them all into one sentence. It might do all those lovely, lively, imaginative ideas more justice if they were developed separately, is all I'm saying :) It would make the fic longer, but hey, L/N fic can never be long enough, imo *g*
And I'd be more than happy to help, if you ever need a second (or third) pair of eyes to go over a fic - Catlin is a kickass beta, and I'm always glad if I can be helpful like she's been to me.

/too-long comment. Write more! *smooches*

[princessjessia]

Keeping in mine this is in-Azkaban fic, I think in someway he does admit to his faults. I definitely don't think he would have ever done that before Azkaban because he is a supremely arrogant person who was able to do something as momentous as evade Azkaban in the 80s - so he never had reasonto doubt himself. He definitely doesn't think he is wrong for his beliefs and never will, but now realizes many of the things he did 'wrong' in life. He sees where he could have been more open and loving to Narcissa, shown more to Draco in terms of pride in him and affection. I think open affection to Draco ended as Draco grew, though it never ended in his heart. Classic man syndrome there. ;) So he sees these personal mistakes, plus now he sees his 'working' mistakes and is forced - due to having nothing but himself as 'company' - to confront them.

Also, what you see here is not only Azkaban, but the actual land of his mind. There, his natural inhibitions to thought and voice are gone - hence, yelling at the DL (a colossally STUPID move even for a dream), thinking in such blameful ways as admitting her death was his fault, things like that. I'm lucky that Makani's art allowed me to capture a dream-like quality and still show the very depths of Lucius' mind. Azkaban is a place to break people, so his willingness to admit his mistakes so openly to himself is a consequence of that.

As for Narcissa, I think he does recognize it, very much, but he still feels that way about her. He is well aware that she would torture and kill someone if given the motivation (they hurt/killed Draco or Lucius) but he sees her capacity to love so freely and openly when not in public as an untainted thing, for he could not allow himself to do that because he is 1) a man :P and 2) a Malfoy and Malfoys just don't show emotion */Abraxas*. He doesn't see her as perfect, he knows she is not, but he believes himself far darker than she and therefore, she is more pure. Sometimes I don't even completely understand him, I just write what he tells me. ;)

Also, my Narcissa (and, to some degree Lucius) tends to be far more passionate than I think most let her be. To me, people who hate so deeply are not going to be lukewarm about everything else. She hates as deeply as she loves, and shows that to a select few in private, as does Lucius but only to Narcissa and even that he now sees was not living up to his 'potential.' Azkaban is a life-changing place, which makes the 100 so much a playground for me, because I can let others see how they grown and change in my mind.

God, I love talking about all of this, so OF COURSE I don't mind. L/N shipping love - the kind I can respect - is rare in the fandom, in my opinion, so it is a joy to see and discuss it. So many writers go to tangents (abuse, lovelessness, etc and so forth) I can respect as their right as writers but can't back with my sheer snobbery that I think others and I are getting it right. I freely admit it, I am a snob of L/N fic (though of others, I have self-faith issues in mine, LOL) and will likely not even believe it should JKR tell me they secretly hate each other. So in that respect, I'm like the psychotic 12 year old H/Hr shippers in my breadth of denial of the presentation of what JKR can make canon. The again, I still don't believe she cares all that much about them to realize they could be the two-parted people I believe they are.

Thank you for the offer of beta-ing, I certainly will keep it in mind for my future pieces, especially in discussion of what idea I should have expanded on (which hopefully will end up addressed in the 100 eventually anyways). Makani art pieces, however, I'm always too impatient to wait. LOL

*/GINORMOUS response*

[peki]

Oh, I agree! The real shippery love seems to be rare, in this fandom...sometimes I even think people use HP to let out all those things that would be too twisted/squicky in any other fandom, because there are so many (allegedly) two-dimensional bad guys to (ab)use. I do love talking about it like this, though *squees the fangirl squee*

As for Narcissa, I think he does recognize it, very much, but he still feels that way about her.
Yeah, I guess what I was trying to say is that the Malfoys are a dark enough couple that he'd appreciate her because she is capable of more than she looks, of being truly devious and evil, in her own way *g* I never meant to imply he wouldn't love her if she wasn't totally pure, because he would and he does and I'm a sappy fangirl who is completely obsessed with the L/N devotion :)

And I think you're onto something, there, with Azkaban making Lucius confront his own flaws. I've been struggling with a scene in my long D/G epic where he comes home and many things that he had no part in have happened, while he was gone...I have a hard time writing that, because I'm not sure how well he'd be able to adapt, or just stubbornly refuse to. I want to end that fic on a happy note, though, so I guess I'll have to work something out.

Ah, we're really going crazy with the long comments tonight, huh? I love it!