Im A Bad Mom
Is it bad that as of late I often seriously debate whether or not to send my kid to live with her father? I dont know what her problem is but her bad attitude has gotten to the point of being unbearable. I honestly dont know how much longer I can put up with it.
In her eyes everybody is mean, unless shes getting exactly what she wants. And shes never satisfied so its very rare for her to be getting exactly what she wants.
Sometimes its easy to ignore like when shes telling me Im mean cause I wont let her watch tv until she picks up her messes. Most kids dont like clean and I remember telling my mom she was mean when she would make me do it. Sometimes its just out of the blue, like the other day with the kool aid incident. Yeah I raised my voice but not at her. I mean what was I suppose to have for a reaction? When I walk into the bathroom and see that my six year old made kool aid in the sink the only thing I can think of is to loudly ask: why the heck is their kool aid in the bathroom sink?? I looked right at her and calmly asked her what made her think it was ok to make kool aid in the bathroom sink. She started crying, ran away then told her stuffed moose I was the meanest mom in the world. This made me laugh because I knew she wasnt really angry. But thats when its mild.
Today we went shopping. First we went to Famous Footwear to buy her a brand new pair of sneakers for school. We didnt have to buy them. She has about five pairs and one of my totally awesome friends is mailing us 13 pairs of shoes that her daughter outgrew. But my mom decided she wanted to buy her a new pair for school. That all went fine. But then we went to Wal Mart. Wal Mart, where everytime you turn around you see Spongebob or Hannah or those stupid ass silly bands. Theres always lots of stuff that my kid just has to have when shes at Wal Mart. And when she hears the word no she freaks. First it was cause I told her to stay with us when she wandered off to see the massive collection of silly bands that I calmly told her she didnt need cause she already has some all over her bedroom floor. Then it was the Hannah Montana blanket that I told her she didnt need because she already has at least six blankies, one being a Hannah one, and that I trip over them all the time because she leaves them on the floor. Then there was more silly bands which she ignored my no then threw them in the cart anyways and when I took them out. And cant forget the Shrek nailpolish THAT THEY DIDNT EVEN HAVE. Yes its my fault Wal Mart didnt have your ugly ass ogre colored nailpolish so please BLAME IT ON ME! There was lots of hitting, lots of "youre being mean to me"'s and even hitting.
Whoever made it illegal to spank your kids obviously wasnt a parent. Or they were at work 24/7 and left their wife at home to deal with the bullshit.
I grew up being spoiled. Id throw the slightest fit and my mom would give in and let me have whatever I wanted. I walked all over her. I blame alot of things that have happened in my life on this. Like the fact that I didnt graduate high school because at 17 I was living with my older boyfriend and getting drunk every night. And my mom didnt try to stop me. But thats another blog for another day. Point is I dont want to do that to Henna. I love to spoil her and want to give her as much as I can but I also want her to know that she has to earn and appreciate these things. Life doesnt owe her a big favor. It isnt her God given right to have anything and everything she wants.
She has a lot of things other kids her age dont have. She has a Wii, PS2, DS, Ipod, all of the latest and greatest toys. TONS of clothes, shoes, jewlery and hair crap. But she doesnt ever appreciate anything. Like today. She got brand new shoes and the Sponge Bob placemat she doesnt need cause she already has 12 but because I wouldnt buy her another pack of Silly Bands Im a mean horrible person. I asked her if Im so mean how come I surprised her why did I bring her to the Camp Rock Jonas Brothers concert the other day. Her response was: that was then and this is now. YOUR MEAN TO ME! You have no idea how badly I wanted to just smack her right then and there. But I didnt. I mean WTF. I dont like JoBros. I didnt have to drive three hours there, bus stalk them, sit there for four hours then drive three hours home with a massive migraine. But I did because I knew it was something she would love. I have even been looking for cheap Bieber tickets for next Friday cause she wants to go ... and you all know how much I HATE that kid. Almost as much as I hate Jordan. But I was willing to do it for her. But now I wonder what the point is. If she thinks Im so mean maybe I should just start being mean.
Back to sending her to her dads ..... I have seriously been debating this for a long time. But I dont think I could ever bring myself to do it. She doesnt like going there and she is convinced that her dad hates her. She tells me all the time her dad doesnt like her. I got into it with said sperm donor a few days ago about this. Of course he didnt care. If it wasnt for the fact that she loves to see her little brother I wouldnt send her up there at all. Living with him wont be torture, worse then being in the hole. Theyd never see each other because he would be at work when shes home and home while shes at school. She would be raised by her stepmom. And he doesnt deserve to take the credit for the good stuff. He doesnt do a damn thing and that wouldnt change if she was there.
I love my daughter to pieces and we have a lot of fun when shes behaving. But Im at the end of my rope. This just adds to all of my stress and I wanna snap. I cry myself to sleep sometimes because its so frustrating. It hurts that she is constantly telling me how mean I am when I do everything I can for her. I feel like a failure as a parent.
In her eyes everybody is mean, unless shes getting exactly what she wants. And shes never satisfied so its very rare for her to be getting exactly what she wants.
Sometimes its easy to ignore like when shes telling me Im mean cause I wont let her watch tv until she picks up her messes. Most kids dont like clean and I remember telling my mom she was mean when she would make me do it. Sometimes its just out of the blue, like the other day with the kool aid incident. Yeah I raised my voice but not at her. I mean what was I suppose to have for a reaction? When I walk into the bathroom and see that my six year old made kool aid in the sink the only thing I can think of is to loudly ask: why the heck is their kool aid in the bathroom sink?? I looked right at her and calmly asked her what made her think it was ok to make kool aid in the bathroom sink. She started crying, ran away then told her stuffed moose I was the meanest mom in the world. This made me laugh because I knew she wasnt really angry. But thats when its mild.
Today we went shopping. First we went to Famous Footwear to buy her a brand new pair of sneakers for school. We didnt have to buy them. She has about five pairs and one of my totally awesome friends is mailing us 13 pairs of shoes that her daughter outgrew. But my mom decided she wanted to buy her a new pair for school. That all went fine. But then we went to Wal Mart. Wal Mart, where everytime you turn around you see Spongebob or Hannah or those stupid ass silly bands. Theres always lots of stuff that my kid just has to have when shes at Wal Mart. And when she hears the word no she freaks. First it was cause I told her to stay with us when she wandered off to see the massive collection of silly bands that I calmly told her she didnt need cause she already has some all over her bedroom floor. Then it was the Hannah Montana blanket that I told her she didnt need because she already has at least six blankies, one being a Hannah one, and that I trip over them all the time because she leaves them on the floor. Then there was more silly bands which she ignored my no then threw them in the cart anyways and when I took them out. And cant forget the Shrek nailpolish THAT THEY DIDNT EVEN HAVE. Yes its my fault Wal Mart didnt have your ugly ass ogre colored nailpolish so please BLAME IT ON ME! There was lots of hitting, lots of "youre being mean to me"'s and even hitting.
Whoever made it illegal to spank your kids obviously wasnt a parent. Or they were at work 24/7 and left their wife at home to deal with the bullshit.
I grew up being spoiled. Id throw the slightest fit and my mom would give in and let me have whatever I wanted. I walked all over her. I blame alot of things that have happened in my life on this. Like the fact that I didnt graduate high school because at 17 I was living with my older boyfriend and getting drunk every night. And my mom didnt try to stop me. But thats another blog for another day. Point is I dont want to do that to Henna. I love to spoil her and want to give her as much as I can but I also want her to know that she has to earn and appreciate these things. Life doesnt owe her a big favor. It isnt her God given right to have anything and everything she wants.
She has a lot of things other kids her age dont have. She has a Wii, PS2, DS, Ipod, all of the latest and greatest toys. TONS of clothes, shoes, jewlery and hair crap. But she doesnt ever appreciate anything. Like today. She got brand new shoes and the Sponge Bob placemat she doesnt need cause she already has 12 but because I wouldnt buy her another pack of Silly Bands Im a mean horrible person. I asked her if Im so mean how come I surprised her why did I bring her to the Camp Rock Jonas Brothers concert the other day. Her response was: that was then and this is now. YOUR MEAN TO ME! You have no idea how badly I wanted to just smack her right then and there. But I didnt. I mean WTF. I dont like JoBros. I didnt have to drive three hours there, bus stalk them, sit there for four hours then drive three hours home with a massive migraine. But I did because I knew it was something she would love. I have even been looking for cheap Bieber tickets for next Friday cause she wants to go ... and you all know how much I HATE that kid. Almost as much as I hate Jordan. But I was willing to do it for her. But now I wonder what the point is. If she thinks Im so mean maybe I should just start being mean.
Back to sending her to her dads ..... I have seriously been debating this for a long time. But I dont think I could ever bring myself to do it. She doesnt like going there and she is convinced that her dad hates her. She tells me all the time her dad doesnt like her. I got into it with said sperm donor a few days ago about this. Of course he didnt care. If it wasnt for the fact that she loves to see her little brother I wouldnt send her up there at all. Living with him wont be torture, worse then being in the hole. Theyd never see each other because he would be at work when shes home and home while shes at school. She would be raised by her stepmom. And he doesnt deserve to take the credit for the good stuff. He doesnt do a damn thing and that wouldnt change if she was there.
I love my daughter to pieces and we have a lot of fun when shes behaving. But Im at the end of my rope. This just adds to all of my stress and I wanna snap. I cry myself to sleep sometimes because its so frustrating. It hurts that she is constantly telling me how mean I am when I do everything I can for her. I feel like a failure as a parent.