THE RETURN 33-Piz [Piz/Ensemble] PG-13
Title: The Return 33-Piz [The Hangover]
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,151
Characters/Pairings: Piz, Wallace, Parker, Dick, Duncan, Lilly the second, (mentions: Lilly the first, Mac and Weevil)
Spoilers: All episodes (from 1.01: Pilot to 3.20: The Bitch Is Back. Just to be sure) Although this is obviously AU and there are obviously going to be some alterations to events and especially some in the last couple of episodes.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Literally, nothing. So don’t sue me over this, because you won’t get anything. It all belongs to Rob Thomas and if I had owned it when it was still on the last season would have been way different.
Chapter 1: Awake/ Chapter 2: Homecoming/ Chapter 3: Forgive/ Chapter 4: Arrival/ Chapter 5: Reconnect/ Chapter 6: Belong/ Chapter 7: Bets/ Chapter 8: Fight/ Chapter 9: Battle/ Chapter 10: Retreat/ Chapter 11: Push/ Chapter 12: Sound/ Chapter 13: Potential/ Chapter 14: More/ Chapter 15: Storytime/ Chapter 16: Understanding/ Chapter 17: Piggyback/ Chapter 18: Sinners/ Chapter 19: Drama/ Chapter 20: Dinner/ Chapter 21: Armor/ Chapter 22:Mingle/ 23:Bubbly/ 24:Awkward/ 25:Closing/ 26: Drunks/ 27: Logan/ 28: Wallace/ 29: Mac/ 30: Parker/ 31: Duncan/32: Lilly
The Return
33
Piz
~The Hangover~
He was pretty sure that the world was spinning out of control. There entire world was spinning out of control until it would just collapse and come crashing down all around him. That was what was going on because every time he opened his eyes the ceiling spun one way and his bed spun another way and he felt like he did when he was a kid and he’d spin and spin and spin in circles and then try to walk. Like when he’d get on the spinning wheel at the park and he’d sit down and his cousin with run as fast as he could in a circle, spinning the flat metal disc until Piz had been forced to the edge and was hanging on for dear life, it’d slow down and he’d take two steps before collapsing into the grass and trying not to puke. Maybe that’s what was going on and he was still on that spinning wheel disc thing at the park in Beaverton and his cousin Bradley was running in circles and was holding on for dear life.
Piz cracked his eyes open a little and saw the ceiling again and it spun but if he were at the park it’d be the sky, not some off white textured surface with the brightest light known to man on it. Why was that on?
“Uhhhhnggg….” Piz groaned out unintelligibly. Hopefully whoever was moving around the room would be able to interpret that as ‘Turn off the damn light and be silent’.
“Hey man, I’m going out for a run. You wanna come?” Came Wallace’s surprising and annoyingly chipper voice from somewhere out in the ether of this carnival funhouse room that spun and spun and…
“Uhhhhhhh bbuuuuhhh….” Piz replied. Translation: ‘No I don’t want to go for a run because I’m dying and what the hell are you doing up and who goes for a run at the butt crack of dawn when people are dying?’
“Ooookay…” Wallace responded cautiously. Piz heard a shuffling and then his roommate’s face popped into view. “You sure? Need anything? Water? Asprin?”
“Guuuuhhh brubuh” Piz told him, ‘Asprin, Water and a bucket. If you could call a priest to administer last rights as well, that’d be swell. I am 100% sure that I’m not going to go on some crazy run, but when you get back if you could just shoot me that’d be great. Swell. In fact I’d forever count you as a friend for it.’
“Later man.” Wallace said as he basically bounced out of the room. Obviously he was making as much noise as he possible could, but the light went off and Piz head stopped exploding but the spinning never stopped.
~*~
“Man, are you ever going to get up?” Wallace asked, flipping the light on.
“I’m obviously dying here, so… no, I will not ever be getting up, but if you could shut the light off and go away and let me die in peace I’d be grateful.” Piz answered, his head exploding again, but at least the spinning seemed to have stopped a while ago.
“I don’t think you’re dying, you just need something to drink and some aspirin and you’ll be good to go.” Wallace explained, apparently refusing to turn off the light and let him die.
Piz sat up miserably, ready to slay Wallace with his wit and scare him out of the room once and for all. He didn’t really have any experience doing this but he’d seen Logan and Veronica do many times before. He opened his mouth to comment but that was a mistake because in the next moment he was scrambling out of bed, pushing past an amused looking Wallace and into the bathroom where he threw up everything that he had ever eaten… ever.
“I guess you changed your mind about getting up.” Wallace said from the doorway and Piz could hear the laughter in it.
“Uggghhhh…” Piz groaned as he crawled out of the bathroom, past Wallace and back to his bed where he pulled himself up and then curled into the fetal position. He winced as he heard his friend go into the bathroom and shut the door, a minute later he heard the shower start.
~*~
Piz sat at the kitchen table in sweats and some old t-shirt with a pirate on it that Wallace lent him when he realized that all of the t-shirts that he’d brought were either dirty or smelled like his laundry detergent which seemed to cause him to vomit whenever he caught a whiff of it. Wallace’s mom used unscented soap so his clothes were blissfully scent free.
Parker milled about the kitchen, reheating oatmeal and sausage that she’d saved for him. She insisted that it would be easy on his stomach, help settle said stomach and reduce risk of regurgitation. She funneled water into him, making him drink two glasses of room temperature water as he groaned in pain. That’s when she handed him two ibuprofen and a glass of fizzy water.
“It’s Emergen-C, I used to drink it in high school after weekend parties and stuff. It’s the best hangover cure.” She explained, much too chipper about it, as she pushed the glass across the table at him. He sat there for another moment, seeing her expectant look before he took the glass and downed it.
“I don’t feel any better.” He told her, somewhat petulantly.
“It takes longer that twenty seconds to work.” Parker replied indulgently, like she was talking to a child, before turning to a beeping microwave and sliding his breakfast out and back in front of him. “Now eat up, getting something else in your system will help you feel better, too.”
~*~
“I’ll give you a billion dollars if we can stay another night and I get passed this stupid hangover.” Piz begged Wallace as he watched him pack all his stuff back into his duffel bag.
“I don’t believe you really have a billion dollars to give me, so you better start packing.” Wallace told him.
Piz dragged himself off his bed and went to the closet to get his own bag. It seemed to have exploded that morning in his search of something comfy to wear while he went to die in the kitchen. When he hadn’t died there he’d tried to do so in the living room and when that had failed he’d come back upstairs to make another go at it.
“Come on, you’ll be fine.” Wallace assured him, zipping his bag closed and tossing it toward the door. Ever the basketball superstar his bag landed perfectly in front of the door, waiting to be taken downstairs. Wallace began stripping his bed, going through the blankets carefully to make sure that he hadn’t missed anything.
“No, I’m pretty sure this is what dying feels like.” Piz complained as he began shoving his clothes into his bag, mixing the dirty with the clean and not caring that nothing was folded and everything was wrinkling.
“You’re not dying.” Wallace told him as he walked toward the door. “Make sure you go through you’re bedding and make sure you don’t leave anything behind… even the socks that always seem to accumulate underneath your bed, the way they do at the dorm. I have to go make sure Weevil’s stuff is all packed.” With that Wallace walked out the bedroom and left Piz to silently die in the closet, holding his breath while he shoved detergenty smelling clothes into his bag.
~*~
“I call shotgun!” Parker yells, practically screaming, as she walks toward the Wallace’s car, her right arm thrown into the air enthusiastically. Baby Lilly is cuddled in Parker’s arms.
“Shawguhn!” Baby Lilly yells, her little arm pumping the same way Parker’s had. Duncan is laughing and following the two out to the car, carrying Parker’s bags for her.
“Whatever, you can have shotgun the entire time… I’m going to lay down in the backseat and die.” Piz grumbles as he shuffles out to the car as well, dragging his duffel bag behind him.
“We’ll hit the road soon, dude. Mac is trying to get a hold of Weevil and find out where he is.” Piz could hear Dick telling Wallace as they trailed behind him.
“Okay, I made sure all of Weevil’s stuff was packed up, although it didn’t look like he ever really took anything out of that bag of his.” Wallace said as he passed Piz and hurried to the trunk of his car so Duncan put Parker’s bags in.
“You okay man?” Dick asked, suddenly appearing beside him with an uncharacteristic look of concern.
“Yeah, just dying a little but Wallace and Parker assure me that I’ll be fine.” Piz told him and had to suffer through Dick’s loud and boisterous laugh.
“You don’t really drink much, do you?” Dick asked, grinning.
“Not really. I wasn’t much of a partier in high school and I didn’t have much opportunity to do so last year.” Piz explained.
“Well, it takes practice to be able to work through a hangover. You should have some beer this morning.” Dick suggested as they neared the car. Piz took the moment to look at the blond boy as if he were crazy.
“I want to get rid of the hangover, Dick, not be in a perpetual state of drunk.”
“It doesn’t get you drunk, it just helps a bit. Hair of the dog and all that.” Dick told him as he stopped alongside the small group that had gathered around the back of Wallace’s car.
“It’s true, hair of the dog is one of the best hangover cures if you do it right when you get up. At this point it’ll probably just make you feel sicker, though.” Duncan told him before turning to Wallace to shake his hand.
Piz nodded and pitched his duffel bag into the trunk, landing it on top of Wallace’s duffel and all of Parker’s girly luggage. He shook Duncan and Dick’s hands and accepted a hug from Baby Lilly while Parker and Duncan hugged goodbye.
He slid into the backseat of the car and laid down, covering his eyes with his arm as he waited for the other two passengers to get in the car. It seemed like forever before he heard Parker slide into the front passenger seat and Wallace stood with the driver’s door open as he talked with Dick about routes and whether or not they should all meet for dinner when they got into Neptune. Apparently they’d be meeting up at someplace called Chow’s Pizza at eight tonight, which should give Wallace and his team plenty of time to get into town but Dick and his team might be a little late if they can’t get a hold of Weevil.
Finally Wallace slid into his seat and started the car. Music blared from the speakers and Piz felt himself slowly dying from the pain it caused his head. “Off! Turn it off!” he yelled even as Parker reached out and turned the music down so low he could barely hear it from the backseat.
~*~
It was only a few miles, a few minutes. They probably weren’t even as far as town yet before Parker suddenly yelled out, “Wait, Weevil is riding with Mac and Dick?”
“Yeah, that’s why they haven’t left yet, they’re waiting to get in touch with him so they can pick him up from that girl’s house.” Wallace told her.
“But isn’t Lilly riding back with them too?” Parker asked, concern seeping into her voice.
“Yeah…” Wallace hedged, obviously not liking where this was going.
“Aren’t they fighting or something?” Piz croaked from the backseat, already seeing what a huge mistake it would be for them to ride home together, probably both stuck in the backseat of Mac’s VW Bug, which was tiny.
“Well, that’s Mac’s problem now.” Wallace replied distractedly as he made a turn.
“Wallace…” Parker said in a warning voice.
“We’ve been on the road for over an hour, I’m not driving back when they’re probably gone by now.” Wallace groused.
“They might not be, Lilly wasn’t even packed when we left.” Parker said, rummaging through her purse. “I’m going to call.”
It was a few minutes later and Parker hung up with Mac.
“Mac says that they’re on the road already with Lilly and Weevil in the backseat.” Parker announced.
“Told you.” Wallace said, making another turn.
“Yeah, she also said to keep out phones on because there might be a need for a switch at some point if things keep going the way they’re going.” She finished before leaning forward to music up a little.
“Perfect.” Wallace complained, shaking his head. “If that happens you’re switching with Lilly, okay?”
“Okay.” Parker agreed before leaning her head back against the head rest.
34: Weevil
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,151
Characters/Pairings: Piz, Wallace, Parker, Dick, Duncan, Lilly the second, (mentions: Lilly the first, Mac and Weevil)
Spoilers: All episodes (from 1.01: Pilot to 3.20: The Bitch Is Back. Just to be sure) Although this is obviously AU and there are obviously going to be some alterations to events and especially some in the last couple of episodes.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Literally, nothing. So don’t sue me over this, because you won’t get anything. It all belongs to Rob Thomas and if I had owned it when it was still on the last season would have been way different.
Chapter 1: Awake/ Chapter 2: Homecoming/ Chapter 3: Forgive/ Chapter 4: Arrival/ Chapter 5: Reconnect/ Chapter 6: Belong/ Chapter 7: Bets/ Chapter 8: Fight/ Chapter 9: Battle/ Chapter 10: Retreat/ Chapter 11: Push/ Chapter 12: Sound/ Chapter 13: Potential/ Chapter 14: More/ Chapter 15: Storytime/ Chapter 16: Understanding/ Chapter 17: Piggyback/ Chapter 18: Sinners/ Chapter 19: Drama/ Chapter 20: Dinner/ Chapter 21: Armor/ Chapter 22:Mingle/ 23:Bubbly/ 24:Awkward/ 25:Closing/ 26: Drunks/ 27: Logan/ 28: Wallace/ 29: Mac/ 30: Parker/ 31: Duncan/32: Lilly
The Return
33
Piz
~The Hangover~
He was pretty sure that the world was spinning out of control. There entire world was spinning out of control until it would just collapse and come crashing down all around him. That was what was going on because every time he opened his eyes the ceiling spun one way and his bed spun another way and he felt like he did when he was a kid and he’d spin and spin and spin in circles and then try to walk. Like when he’d get on the spinning wheel at the park and he’d sit down and his cousin with run as fast as he could in a circle, spinning the flat metal disc until Piz had been forced to the edge and was hanging on for dear life, it’d slow down and he’d take two steps before collapsing into the grass and trying not to puke. Maybe that’s what was going on and he was still on that spinning wheel disc thing at the park in Beaverton and his cousin Bradley was running in circles and was holding on for dear life.
Piz cracked his eyes open a little and saw the ceiling again and it spun but if he were at the park it’d be the sky, not some off white textured surface with the brightest light known to man on it. Why was that on?
“Uhhhhnggg….” Piz groaned out unintelligibly. Hopefully whoever was moving around the room would be able to interpret that as ‘Turn off the damn light and be silent’.
“Hey man, I’m going out for a run. You wanna come?” Came Wallace’s surprising and annoyingly chipper voice from somewhere out in the ether of this carnival funhouse room that spun and spun and…
“Uhhhhhhh bbuuuuhhh….” Piz replied. Translation: ‘No I don’t want to go for a run because I’m dying and what the hell are you doing up and who goes for a run at the butt crack of dawn when people are dying?’
“Ooookay…” Wallace responded cautiously. Piz heard a shuffling and then his roommate’s face popped into view. “You sure? Need anything? Water? Asprin?”
“Guuuuhhh brubuh” Piz told him, ‘Asprin, Water and a bucket. If you could call a priest to administer last rights as well, that’d be swell. I am 100% sure that I’m not going to go on some crazy run, but when you get back if you could just shoot me that’d be great. Swell. In fact I’d forever count you as a friend for it.’
“Later man.” Wallace said as he basically bounced out of the room. Obviously he was making as much noise as he possible could, but the light went off and Piz head stopped exploding but the spinning never stopped.
~*~
“Man, are you ever going to get up?” Wallace asked, flipping the light on.
“I’m obviously dying here, so… no, I will not ever be getting up, but if you could shut the light off and go away and let me die in peace I’d be grateful.” Piz answered, his head exploding again, but at least the spinning seemed to have stopped a while ago.
“I don’t think you’re dying, you just need something to drink and some aspirin and you’ll be good to go.” Wallace explained, apparently refusing to turn off the light and let him die.
Piz sat up miserably, ready to slay Wallace with his wit and scare him out of the room once and for all. He didn’t really have any experience doing this but he’d seen Logan and Veronica do many times before. He opened his mouth to comment but that was a mistake because in the next moment he was scrambling out of bed, pushing past an amused looking Wallace and into the bathroom where he threw up everything that he had ever eaten… ever.
“I guess you changed your mind about getting up.” Wallace said from the doorway and Piz could hear the laughter in it.
“Uggghhhh…” Piz groaned as he crawled out of the bathroom, past Wallace and back to his bed where he pulled himself up and then curled into the fetal position. He winced as he heard his friend go into the bathroom and shut the door, a minute later he heard the shower start.
~*~
Piz sat at the kitchen table in sweats and some old t-shirt with a pirate on it that Wallace lent him when he realized that all of the t-shirts that he’d brought were either dirty or smelled like his laundry detergent which seemed to cause him to vomit whenever he caught a whiff of it. Wallace’s mom used unscented soap so his clothes were blissfully scent free.
Parker milled about the kitchen, reheating oatmeal and sausage that she’d saved for him. She insisted that it would be easy on his stomach, help settle said stomach and reduce risk of regurgitation. She funneled water into him, making him drink two glasses of room temperature water as he groaned in pain. That’s when she handed him two ibuprofen and a glass of fizzy water.
“It’s Emergen-C, I used to drink it in high school after weekend parties and stuff. It’s the best hangover cure.” She explained, much too chipper about it, as she pushed the glass across the table at him. He sat there for another moment, seeing her expectant look before he took the glass and downed it.
“I don’t feel any better.” He told her, somewhat petulantly.
“It takes longer that twenty seconds to work.” Parker replied indulgently, like she was talking to a child, before turning to a beeping microwave and sliding his breakfast out and back in front of him. “Now eat up, getting something else in your system will help you feel better, too.”
~*~
“I’ll give you a billion dollars if we can stay another night and I get passed this stupid hangover.” Piz begged Wallace as he watched him pack all his stuff back into his duffel bag.
“I don’t believe you really have a billion dollars to give me, so you better start packing.” Wallace told him.
Piz dragged himself off his bed and went to the closet to get his own bag. It seemed to have exploded that morning in his search of something comfy to wear while he went to die in the kitchen. When he hadn’t died there he’d tried to do so in the living room and when that had failed he’d come back upstairs to make another go at it.
“Come on, you’ll be fine.” Wallace assured him, zipping his bag closed and tossing it toward the door. Ever the basketball superstar his bag landed perfectly in front of the door, waiting to be taken downstairs. Wallace began stripping his bed, going through the blankets carefully to make sure that he hadn’t missed anything.
“No, I’m pretty sure this is what dying feels like.” Piz complained as he began shoving his clothes into his bag, mixing the dirty with the clean and not caring that nothing was folded and everything was wrinkling.
“You’re not dying.” Wallace told him as he walked toward the door. “Make sure you go through you’re bedding and make sure you don’t leave anything behind… even the socks that always seem to accumulate underneath your bed, the way they do at the dorm. I have to go make sure Weevil’s stuff is all packed.” With that Wallace walked out the bedroom and left Piz to silently die in the closet, holding his breath while he shoved detergenty smelling clothes into his bag.
~*~
“I call shotgun!” Parker yells, practically screaming, as she walks toward the Wallace’s car, her right arm thrown into the air enthusiastically. Baby Lilly is cuddled in Parker’s arms.
“Shawguhn!” Baby Lilly yells, her little arm pumping the same way Parker’s had. Duncan is laughing and following the two out to the car, carrying Parker’s bags for her.
“Whatever, you can have shotgun the entire time… I’m going to lay down in the backseat and die.” Piz grumbles as he shuffles out to the car as well, dragging his duffel bag behind him.
“We’ll hit the road soon, dude. Mac is trying to get a hold of Weevil and find out where he is.” Piz could hear Dick telling Wallace as they trailed behind him.
“Okay, I made sure all of Weevil’s stuff was packed up, although it didn’t look like he ever really took anything out of that bag of his.” Wallace said as he passed Piz and hurried to the trunk of his car so Duncan put Parker’s bags in.
“You okay man?” Dick asked, suddenly appearing beside him with an uncharacteristic look of concern.
“Yeah, just dying a little but Wallace and Parker assure me that I’ll be fine.” Piz told him and had to suffer through Dick’s loud and boisterous laugh.
“You don’t really drink much, do you?” Dick asked, grinning.
“Not really. I wasn’t much of a partier in high school and I didn’t have much opportunity to do so last year.” Piz explained.
“Well, it takes practice to be able to work through a hangover. You should have some beer this morning.” Dick suggested as they neared the car. Piz took the moment to look at the blond boy as if he were crazy.
“I want to get rid of the hangover, Dick, not be in a perpetual state of drunk.”
“It doesn’t get you drunk, it just helps a bit. Hair of the dog and all that.” Dick told him as he stopped alongside the small group that had gathered around the back of Wallace’s car.
“It’s true, hair of the dog is one of the best hangover cures if you do it right when you get up. At this point it’ll probably just make you feel sicker, though.” Duncan told him before turning to Wallace to shake his hand.
Piz nodded and pitched his duffel bag into the trunk, landing it on top of Wallace’s duffel and all of Parker’s girly luggage. He shook Duncan and Dick’s hands and accepted a hug from Baby Lilly while Parker and Duncan hugged goodbye.
He slid into the backseat of the car and laid down, covering his eyes with his arm as he waited for the other two passengers to get in the car. It seemed like forever before he heard Parker slide into the front passenger seat and Wallace stood with the driver’s door open as he talked with Dick about routes and whether or not they should all meet for dinner when they got into Neptune. Apparently they’d be meeting up at someplace called Chow’s Pizza at eight tonight, which should give Wallace and his team plenty of time to get into town but Dick and his team might be a little late if they can’t get a hold of Weevil.
Finally Wallace slid into his seat and started the car. Music blared from the speakers and Piz felt himself slowly dying from the pain it caused his head. “Off! Turn it off!” he yelled even as Parker reached out and turned the music down so low he could barely hear it from the backseat.
~*~
It was only a few miles, a few minutes. They probably weren’t even as far as town yet before Parker suddenly yelled out, “Wait, Weevil is riding with Mac and Dick?”
“Yeah, that’s why they haven’t left yet, they’re waiting to get in touch with him so they can pick him up from that girl’s house.” Wallace told her.
“But isn’t Lilly riding back with them too?” Parker asked, concern seeping into her voice.
“Yeah…” Wallace hedged, obviously not liking where this was going.
“Aren’t they fighting or something?” Piz croaked from the backseat, already seeing what a huge mistake it would be for them to ride home together, probably both stuck in the backseat of Mac’s VW Bug, which was tiny.
“Well, that’s Mac’s problem now.” Wallace replied distractedly as he made a turn.
“Wallace…” Parker said in a warning voice.
“We’ve been on the road for over an hour, I’m not driving back when they’re probably gone by now.” Wallace groused.
“They might not be, Lilly wasn’t even packed when we left.” Parker said, rummaging through her purse. “I’m going to call.”
It was a few minutes later and Parker hung up with Mac.
“Mac says that they’re on the road already with Lilly and Weevil in the backseat.” Parker announced.
“Told you.” Wallace said, making another turn.
“Yeah, she also said to keep out phones on because there might be a need for a switch at some point if things keep going the way they’re going.” She finished before leaning forward to music up a little.
“Perfect.” Wallace complained, shaking his head. “If that happens you’re switching with Lilly, okay?”
“Okay.” Parker agreed before leaning her head back against the head rest.
34: Weevil