another short dream and a bad day at sgs
so i'm going to start with my dream because its happier. X_X in my dream, once again in the middle, josh, leo, and i were sitting this room with rows of seats. their was no seats, u just had to sit on the legde thingy. so we are sitting there on all different rows. me and leo r talking to josh about some game. when we actually started playing it it looked a little like WoW but it was different like always. that was basically it but my and leo were very friendly and were flirtly a lot. but once we started playing the game, the game become the main focused so i have no idea what happened to leo after that.
kk so last night we r playing leo's game and f-ing matt screwed us over and killed himself and josh. everyone else was down but didn't die. tarrik got us out of jail and got us a new house and all seems good, but josh owns 1,000 gold but bring back to life and is now being changed 20 more gold a day until he pays it back X_X this is going to be hard to be considing we r all lvl 1 and aren't good at anything. so what does tarrik what me to do? become a hoe. i said fuck no but u no what the other choice? it is we go into the forest to a tower with 500 gold guarded by things that will most likey kill us....... kk so my choices r to be a hoe or let my friends die in the forest. and the people that no me no i will do anything for my friends and that includes in d and d so im not about to let them die so i had to beccome a hoe and i felt so sick and still do. all i can think about is mr. strauss and what he did to me. yes he didn't rape me or anything but still it beings up bad thoughts and i was sitting trying not to cry. i think the only reason i didn't cry is i didn't have enough water in my system to cry because i felt like crying. i like dont want to play that character ever again X_X i really dont!
and now i'm really sad because i won't c him for like a month before i can come and visit him and everyone else down here. because im not coming this coming weekend when i just get home and the week after that is acen, and then the week after that is erika's and lovely's gradution and my family is in town. the weekend after that i MIGHT be able to come down but that sunday is my mom's b-day so im going to have to be home for dinner. and that is if my mom let me go if not, i cant come the first week of june because that sat. is erika's 18th b-day and there is no way she would let me go. that will be a big fight for days...... so ya that means i might not be able to come down until june 13th...... thats again a whole month without seeing him X_X (sigh) the only good thing about this i think my first dream will become true. maybe. it is just a feeling i have. i no in that dream when he came back, it was hot and sunny and the background was at beach. sounds pretty summerish to me. i also know that in every dream when he came back it was summer. so we will just sees what happens. and have faith.
kk so last night we r playing leo's game and f-ing matt screwed us over and killed himself and josh. everyone else was down but didn't die. tarrik got us out of jail and got us a new house and all seems good, but josh owns 1,000 gold but bring back to life and is now being changed 20 more gold a day until he pays it back X_X this is going to be hard to be considing we r all lvl 1 and aren't good at anything. so what does tarrik what me to do? become a hoe. i said fuck no but u no what the other choice? it is we go into the forest to a tower with 500 gold guarded by things that will most likey kill us....... kk so my choices r to be a hoe or let my friends die in the forest. and the people that no me no i will do anything for my friends and that includes in d and d so im not about to let them die so i had to beccome a hoe and i felt so sick and still do. all i can think about is mr. strauss and what he did to me. yes he didn't rape me or anything but still it beings up bad thoughts and i was sitting trying not to cry. i think the only reason i didn't cry is i didn't have enough water in my system to cry because i felt like crying. i like dont want to play that character ever again X_X i really dont!
and now i'm really sad because i won't c him for like a month before i can come and visit him and everyone else down here. because im not coming this coming weekend when i just get home and the week after that is acen, and then the week after that is erika's and lovely's gradution and my family is in town. the weekend after that i MIGHT be able to come down but that sunday is my mom's b-day so im going to have to be home for dinner. and that is if my mom let me go if not, i cant come the first week of june because that sat. is erika's 18th b-day and there is no way she would let me go. that will be a big fight for days...... so ya that means i might not be able to come down until june 13th...... thats again a whole month without seeing him X_X (sigh) the only good thing about this i think my first dream will become true. maybe. it is just a feeling i have. i no in that dream when he came back, it was hot and sunny and the background was at beach. sounds pretty summerish to me. i also know that in every dream when he came back it was summer. so we will just sees what happens. and have faith.