Better Now
I talk to my Dad every day now and it has been the coolest thing getting to know him and hear his voice and hear his concern and his interest in my life and his advice. And he has been the most supportive... and you know what that means. I had a little meltdown freak out and he was around and just took it and let me vent and then helped and then said he loved me and would check on me later. And he did. I'm kind of starting to believe in that whole "parents are a support system" notion. Maybe.
Things are beginning to be ok. I have faith in things getting better, I really do. Thank you N.E.
He called tonight and I almost didn't pick up. But I'm tired of running from things, running from him, running from what he represents in my life as far as lessons go... so I didn't. I faced it and I dealt with it and that's probably what is contributing to my ok feeling. It didn't still feel like I was betrayed... it felt like I know a secret that he doesn't so he can't hurt me anymore. There is no amount of bullshit that he could say that would make me give us another try once he gets his ish together. I am immune. Finally. I haven't been to church in awhile but can I get an AMEN for that one?!?
And honestly, it wasn't the right fit, me and him. And I feel like I dodged a bullet.