(no subject)
All my friends now have boyfriends. I'm happy for them all. Im just a little lonely. But whats new? I love seeing all of my friends happy despite my own feelings, I dont mind them bragging about being happy bc its nice that some of them are finally off the market and with someone. Me myself I just dont like hurting so I concentrate on their happiness and soak it in. When I actually let myself think about things it hurts. I havnt talked about the pain in a long time. Things start to hurt to bad so I block it out and go out with my friends. I love it that its just that simple. I just wish that I could always do that. Not just bc Im sick. Im calm when Im sick. When I get healthy again I hope I have the same control.